Teen Surfing Porn Sites
Friday April 20, 2007
One mom seeks advice: "I am a single mom with a 13 year old son. Last year he was buying pay for view movies that were porn. I have since blocked it and after that issue, had a talk with him about sex. He claimed that he was just curious. I totally understood this and told him so. I advised him that he should talk to me, as porno movies were not the place to learn about sex. I have just found out that he is accessing porno sites on the internet, but they are gay porno sites. I am at a loss as what to do or how to approach this. Should i tell him i know that he was on these sites? Should i even be concerned that they were gay sites? Is this just normal curiousity? Many thanks to anyone who gives me some help."
Denise's thoughts: "I'm not too sure I would address the issue of the sites being gay porn, as the main issue is that he shouldn't be on any porn sites. Use fair and firm discipline, share your expectations for use of the computer and see if he has any ideas on how you both can work out this problem.
As for the sites being gay porn. It could be normal curiosity or it may not be. Either way, you'll need to continue to love your son for the person he is, therefore taking some time before bringing this up - or waiting for him to bring it up - is probably your best course of action."
See the thread on our forum here.
Parenting Poll: Do you talk to your teen about sex and his/her sexuality?
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I agree that you should wait to talk to him about the gay porn. You should address the issue on the porno sites.
I found out about the porn web sites my son was looking at when he was 13. I spoke with our pastor. He said he would talk to him but I decided he would feel more comfortable with me. I calmly brought up the subject. We had the best conversation I’ve ever had with him. I stated I knew how to check on which sites he was on and I would be watching for awhile. I did not discipline him. I monitored closely for a month then backed of some. I check less often now and am proud to say he has never ventured there, again. He was actually very relieved when I asked him about it. He said it was a load off of his mind because he felt so bad.
Teens are very curious and also very vulnerable. It is also a very confusing time in their life and their hormones will go into overdrive for just about anything. Don’t dismiss this or ignore it but rather try to find the reason for this. It might be that he is curious but it also might be that someone could be trying to initiate your son into a relationship. Teens can be easily confused and he may not be ready to make such a decision. His first sexual encounter should be when he knows whom he is, what he wants and is ready for a real and loving relationship, and this is what you need to discuss with him as equals and openly.
I think his mother should call him and advice him about the deffects of watching such sites and make him under stand that such sites are dangerious.Advising the child to adstain from such practices and such web sites
my daughter is just 10. she was taught by an 11 yr old girl busmate to go to a p;orn site. i am not adept in computers. i dont even know how to block a site
Look, this is the way that teenagers learn. I am probably younger then the rest of you on this forum but i know i learned most of what i know from pornography as well. He is looking at porn and it is natural. You can talk to him about it if you want a forever awkward relationship, but there is a chance that you two will just get very close. He could be just curious regarding the gay pornography, but if he is homosexual it is natural too. Just make sure that if you do find out that he is gay you stress abstanence and condoms very thoroughly. Confronting him about it once again may not be the best idea as it will make him feel uncomfertable about exploring his sexuality, or even being open about it whether homo or hederosexual. Blocking the sites is also not a good idea because he will just look for other ways to access it. If you do talk to him about it dont let him know that you know it is homosexual pornography. But either way let him be himself
Hello. And Bye.
really pornography is creating a havoc in the current day world. not only adults but small boys and girls of under 10 get excited with these things. i remember my times that i came to know about these things only two or three years back although i am now 22. i thionk we should join heads to eradicate thise meance of the modern world. i don’t know how but we should try to find a way out to save our children as well as grown ups from this ill matter.
In my day people began looking at porn at 11 or 12 and start masturbating 12-14 it scary if little kids are looking at it. But back the point the guy here is 13 it’s normal for him to be curious. What ever you do don’t block any sites this is make really frustrating for him, remember he been flooded with testosterone he probably more hormonal the a pregnant women! So blocking porn probably lead to him displaying anger or acting out! As for gay thing Im Bi curious ..He might be just bi-curious or someone might called him gay and maybe took it to hearth so he might be “testing” himself! Anyway I read that many guys get gay wet dreams or have gay impulses at times even they are straight! So this leads me to believe everyone’s bi at some level. If I where you I find out is he gay or just curious. To do get him in a good mood.. say (Sean) it’s normal to explore your sexuality at your age but I found some sites that surprise me, do you think your gay? or Are you curious about guys. or (Sean) I worried about type of porn your watching..could you be gay..it’s ok if you are? If he gay the very important to support him and maybe get a consular help him deal with it, He might want to be “Straight” to public eye. Im Bi curious I have more interest for girls (I find very hard to imagine been gay) but sometimes get curious about about guys I spend most of puberty wondering am I gay or straight it got very intense. See he might be too that he seen something gay or maybe a friend might kissed him or something and might left him feeling confused! I found that When it’s in you head “Am I gay” you keep looking at gay porn and stuff till you get an answer! so try help find his answer some other way!
Talk to him. Gay people are just perverted humans who say that’s how they were born but the reality is they’re just messed up and are trying to prove their religion to be true. There is no such thing as “gay.” Back to your son, yes he is curious but if you already talked to him and tried to block the porn and he still looks at it, then he probably is addicted. When he is older there is a great chance his life will be screwed up. Have an older, mature, knowledgeable, MALE, possibly realtive talk to him about this since he has no more father. Do not let this get out of hand. It will screw up his life.
remember he is like any other normal teenage boy, but he just happens to be gay and doing a huge confrontation would be horrible. Why don’t you show him that your ok with Gay people and create a healthy coming out experience first and then try to tackle the other
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1. Talk to your teens. It is not that hard if you actually try. Everyone gets a bit embarassed, but it is better than everyone being in the dark and/or confused. If you do NOT, someone else will…and it may not be what you want your kids to know. Each age group can handle certain insights or discussions, and the best way to handle the birds & bees versus pornography is start young with a little information, such as: Mom and Dad are married and share a bed for age 5. Moving up to pornography versus healthy sexual relations at age 13, or whatever is necessary for your child. BUT, your child does not need to think sex is bad or dirty; for goodness sakes, that is how he/she got here! LOL… Gay/straight, your teen needs to KNOW that no matter what, he/she can turn to and TRUST YOU!!!
What has worked for me? Tell your teen that you can visit national geographic for pics of boobs…haha Also, explain that many of those sites are GIRLS/BOYS that have been molested…Ask if he would like little sis or cousin to be displayed for all to see. Explain molestation. Explain that those who know what they are doing may be on sites too, but how do you know who is who…Explain that sex is natural, porn is not.
2. A few years ago when my son, who is now 13, was 9, a friend at his Christian school gave him a website to try. I was unaware at the time for the need to check the internet’s history – oh so much wiser now. Within a couple of days, a virus had crossed over all of the 4 computers crashing them all. $1600 later, the 4 computers were up and running again. Now I have Microsoft Live One Care and 6 computers on my network which are completely safe from the nasty little viruses/spyware porn sites have attached to them. You not only need to safeguard your teen’s eyes from such sites, but you REALLY need to safeguard your computers…and unfortunatly, Microsoft Live One Care will no longer be available to new consumers. I have had multiple virus/spyware programs and NONE even compare.
AND NO MATTER WHAT, REMEMBER TO LOVE YOUR TEENS!!!