Adolescent Modesty?
Friday October 19, 2007
One mom wonders: "When I was a teen I didn't want anyone to see me undressed--not even my mother. But my 14 year old daughter sometimes bounces around upstairs half dressed or altogether nude and doesn't seem to even think about it.
Have things changed that much or is she just a little strange? She's not flaunting it, really--she just seems totally unself-conscious about her body.
And does anyone think this will have a bad effect on her brother, who is about to enter puberty himself. He's never commented on it one way or the other. "
Denise’s thoughts: I think she is perfectly normal and confident. You may just want to have a talk with her about being modest in front of others, like her brother. Otherwise, good for her.
Asking our community: Does this seem odd to you? Do you think all teen girls should be self-conscious when puberty hits or is this an expression of confidence on this teen girls part? Give your opinion as a comment or on the forum.
There’s nothing wrong with that! I wish I was her boyfriend! lol that would be great. But seriously, it’s a body. Everyone has the same thing. And if your son has access to a computer, you think he won’t look at that? LOL
Mom needs to discuss that brother is growing up and to be aware of how she dresses or undresses around the house. I have a 15 yr old boy and up until 2 years ago, I did’nt give a second thought as to low cut shirts/nightgowns that I wear. I do now. I am not prudish, just don’t want to give off unnecessary ideas, they have enough to think about.
i think she is perfectly normal. When i was a teenager i did the same thing in front of my younger brother and I/he turned out just fine. You see more out there on the street or on the beach. If you dont make an issue out of it, it wont become one. If you do I think you will create an uncomfortable situation for them both and possibly make them uptight about in the future.
Its great that she is so sure of herself, but it is weird that shes dancing around naked in front of her brother. She assumedly is aware of herself and budding sexuality; she should also be aware of the awkwardness she may be creating for the young boy.
I know from experience, that out of 4 girls, my oldest sister would run around the house half naked, in a sexy bra & undies, etc., while my brother was a young teen. HE HIMSELF, even at that young age, yelled at her to please put some clothes on if she was going to be downstairs! (out of her room) — so obviously, it DOES makes the brothers, (or at least some of them) very uncomfortable – who wants to worry about fantasizing about their own sister – (Recovering-Catholic family here – guilt taught at early age, lol!)
I think it’s great. My family is not shy about walking around the house naked (My husband and I have 2 teenage girls). I used to think it wasn’t a good idea but have come to realize it is o.k., if not good for self image. I agree that the more you make out of it the more problems it causes. I don’t agree with wearing whatever you want outside of the home out of respect for others but at home, as long as everyone is on board, who cares. I would watch for signs that her brother cares and then talk to both of them in order to come to an agreement. Otherwise, I would let it be.
Good for her. No one should ever be self conscious about her/his body. Kudos to you Mom for obviously fostering an environment where she is not self-conscious. You should express your delight that she has such a positive attitude about her body. Then explain to her the need for modesty as her brother enters puberty. Girls are not always aware of the affect puberty has on boys, since they see it through the filter of their own puberty experience. You will be providing her with some helpful info and helping her reach adulthood guilt free.
This lack of modesty disturbs me. If she is this blantant I wonder how is she in school? Not everyone wants to be subject to this lack of modesty. I feel the mom is correct in questioning her daughter’s lack of respect towards her brother, just because he isn’t saying anything please don’t just assume it is not a source of “confusion” or embarrassement for him. Our society at large has become so laxed with modesty and morality, no wonder the incidents of sexual crimes against women and children have sored. All you have to do is read or see it in the news. I am not advocating making the daughter feel ashamed of her body (no one in this panel is) but for the love of modesty, can we as women and mothers teach our daughters that everything has its place. What about her father is he “cool”with this too????
I have 2 teenage boys and a daughter 12 yrs old. I always tell her to be modest and her body is her’s alone. She understands this & appreciates that I explain to her what is acceptable and not. She didn’t understand that her brothers didn’t want to see her running around in her underware, until I told her. She knows she is a beautiful girl, walking around naked is not going to give her confidance in her body. That is your job to reassure her she is beautiful fully clothed. Come on people, our youth is exposed to so much sex & nudity @ such a young age…It is ridiculous. Let’s teach our children self-esteem w/ their clothes on.
Yes, she is confident about her body. Not shy about it. Being nude is divine and natural.
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she should be more respectful but its normal for teens to do that
My friend’s daughter has just completed 2 years study in Japan and has come to realize that western society is “hung up” on sex. Communal bathing was part of the family’s daily ritual and did not raise an eyebrow with anyone.
She was also raised in an open family situation and is also confident with her sexuality. She is modest when she deems it necessary and confident in nudism on other occasions.
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It could be very helpful, if you can do it with a right heart, to gradually create an SAFE environment of freedom for wearing little or no clothing as a family situation, at least at times. I do emphasize “safe”. You don’t want to tempt anyone, but youth need to know that nudity does not = sex. They need to be able/allowed to retain their childhood innocence, without being naive. This can help reduce curiosity in an innocent way, thus thwarting the allure that can get teens into sexual troubles, diseases, unwanted pregnancies, etc. (in my opinion), AND it can be very healthy. The boy, especially, might benefit from the book AMAZING ODYSSEY:Art Coloring Practice, sold by AuthorHOUSE Books. It is age-appropriate & could prove very helpful.
My hormones began raging when I reached 11. Had I been raised in an environment/society where sexuality wasn’t so repressed, I wouldn’t have some of the adolescent fetishes that I still struggle with today in my 40s. Kyle is right. “Its just a body. Everybody has one.” There is an enormous amount of natural mystique in human sexuality. Tampering with nature by adding in our puritan taboos only yields more determination to get or see what is being withheld from you. There is nothing wrong with a human body. Hiding it and fostering a false sense of modisty the way we usually do is the only thing that makes it dirty or ugly or an attractive object of compulsion for people. Believe me, I know from experience.
I totally disagree with the nude or partial nude thing.
If you are a nudest and subscribe to that lifestyle-so be it, if not-make both sexes have an understanding of what modesty stands for-respect for ones self.
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