Mom seeks advice: "I am at my wits end. My son, 15, is a Sophmore and on the Football team as of last year to help with his Social Skills Set. He is not popular, has very few friends, if any but the bad boys, and is now failing all his classes at school! Something new! The popular thing is affecting him, as it does all teenagers at this age. He cannot live with the fact that he is just not one of 'those' kids. He has stopped doing homework, stopped everything at home (helping, talking, etc.). I am a single mom with my Dad at home. The bio dad is not involved and does not want to be.

Lately, drastic measures have been taken at school. He is on progress reports, Saturday School (due to ditching classes to go play Xbox with a friend), Football is on the table to be gone and he is on lockdown at home. NOTHING WORKS! He is not a bad kid, just rebellious at this stage. I don't get it! This is a kid that just last weekend went with me to his Uncle's to work from morning till night on yards... hard work~ and he enjoyed it! No bad attitude or anything.

I have told him I would be driving him to school and picking him up for the last couple of days because he is going to this guys house (no parent there) to play games rather than going to his first class. Sometimes leaving at 4am! So last night I removed all the keys in the doors, set my alarm by my bed and was prepared to take him to school. He turned off my alarms and left through the dog door!!! My response was to drive to the school to be sure he was there, talk to him and tell him I would pick him up after his 6th period.

What do I do??? This is tearing me up and there are so many people involved at the school and home."

Denise's thoughts: "I'm wondering what he thinks is the problem? He is in the midst of all of this and causing such a spin, so you need to ask him, what's up? If he is feeling out of place at school with peers, he needs to build his social confidence elsewhere maybe. What are his interests? Are there football camps? Does he bowl - are there bowling leagues for teens in your area? Bring him out of his own little world and show him how big the real world is - one in which he is capable of succeeding in. Counseling for depression might be in order, too. Check with his doctor.

As for the discipline, I like that you are taking the time to take him to and from school. I think maybe while you talk with him to find out what is wrong, give him some choices, you will find an opportunity to put both of you on the same side. While you need to be a parent and not a friend, that doesn't mean that you can't be on his side to help him face whatever problem he is facing. Help him work through the discipline at the school, make a proactive plan together on how he can avoid getting in this hole again. There are still ups and downs when teens do this, but it works better than losing your wits.

Also I would attach a privilege to the progress reports. If he goes to school and gets them signed and finishes what work is on them, then he can go play Xbox with that friend maybe? Something that he can earn everyday by getting done what needs to be done."

Asking Our Community: Do you think it's time to bring in some outside help or do you think this mom can handle this young man on her own? Have you had a 15yo son who pulled these types of stunts too? How did it work out? share your thoughts, experiences and advice in the forum or in the comments section.