A Parent's Look at the Teen Pregnancy Pact

What is going on there? Where are all these parents, we are talking about 36 kids lives here. I am never very popular with my words when it comes to this topic and only time will tell if it works. But I am very open with my children about sex and dating and about becoming pregnaut. I firmly tell my child, that having a baby before they are adults and living on their own, is unaccepatable and will not be tolerated. I tell them, mistakes happen but that this is one that will be advoided. I only wanted the two babies I had and have, and when they are out and on their own, they may then decide how many and when they want their own children, but not while they are my responsibility. I keep the talk exactly the same with my son as I do with my daughter. Did these parents just assume that their children, knew not to do this? Did they not teach sex education inside the homes as well as the school?

As a mother myself, I’d be horrified if my daughter got pregnant as a teen. I’ll make sure she watches shows like The Baby Borrowers, and not baby coverage on E! It starts with the parents I think, who was watching these girls?

Its funny how both of you say the same “where are the parents”, but the other question is where is sex education and even if parents were talking “when did they start”. My friend’s daughter started High School, catholic school and had her first sex ed class and the teacher said, “have any of your parents talked to you about sex” she was the only one in class to raise her hand. I also had one woman tell, “I don’t want anyone talking about sex with my daughter then she will do it, so I am putting her in catholic school”. My SIL and MIL truly beleive if you don’t say it, they won’t do it. Many people still think this way. My daughter is 14 and when I told her about the baby pact, she said “why would you do that?” then she told me some of her friends might have sex when they are old enough to drink, but her and her one friend are going to wait till marriage (she can hang out with this friend all the time now). Although I love this answer, I am also realistic and told her to make sure that no matter what you have to be careful. She also has taken care of her younger cousins, had my nephew spit up in her mouth, had her other cousins pull at her, etc. She knows that kids are hard work and you can’t do what you want cause the kids have demands on you. She has been kept up by kids that wouldn’t go to sleep, etc. Even babysitting is helpful, I loved kids, but I knew how hard it was. I babysat one 2 year old that didn’t let me pee alone, I was like 14, do I have to tell you that I was tired and wanted privacy after. A few dirty diapers and a baby that cries for an hour and I learned real quick, not easy. Loved it, but 24/7 I didn’t think so. So its not just us talking or having them watch, but experience too. FYI, I started early with my daughter cause I remember at 16 my mother sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher, in other words, she talked, but not one word was actually heard by me.
Oh and for this case I heard that someone was passing out contraception and got fired, they didn’t want anyone telling their kids how to protect themselves you think maybe that was part of the problem.

It isn’t the schools responsibility, it’s the parents. I just did a blog regarding this very topic on my web site http://www.myfeetarentugly.com. I am the author of My Feet aren’t Ugly, A girl’s guide to loving herself from the inside out, and this is a great opportunity for parents to talk to their teen about what it really means to have a baby as a teen. Today more then any other time we need to be communicating with our teens, not telling them what to do, but actually discussing the issues at hand. Let them be a part of the decision making process. Use the internet for information. When my oldest was 14 years old, I was sitting with her and a 2 of her friends, and I said “your pregnant what are you going to do”? They each had a different answer, but what it did do was bring light to the subject of teen pregnancy. Talk to your teens about everything, sex, pregnancy, suicide, body image.

Debra – I think its the parents responsibility, but if you are afraid to have sex ed at school, then its cause you are afraid to talk to your kids. That is really what I meant when they talked about dropping sex ed at these schools.

Ok, I’m a guy, so I may not be in touch with the whole self loving thing. I agree that watching positive programing like the baby borrowers would be helpful. But also participating in sports or something else that could help teenagers respect themselves is also a good idea.

I agree with John. I am 15 and with school and the school play productions and my volunteer work I don’t have TIME for a baby. Both my school and my parents are very open about talking about sex and although I certainly don’t plan on waiting till marriage, I DO plan on waiting till I am ready and in love to have sex and I plan to be protected when it happens. It is the schools AND the parents responsibilities. And having a hobby of sorts can help too.

I just saw a documentary on this and it outraged me. What is wrong with those parents? Some of these girls were impregnated by men, some in their 20’s, and everyone is more concerned with covering it up and keeping them safe then these poor girls? If I were one of these parents I’d be demanding paternity tests and prosecuting. It may sound harsh but it’s a good way to make sure things like this don’t become something children everywhere decide to do. I talk very openly with my own girls and I hope this is never an issue but I’d like to think that if it was I’d handle it in a manor more befitting a concerned parent and not just laugh it off as these people in this documentary did. Shame on the parents for not caring enough about their little girls to find out why some man over the age of 20 was even spending time around their daughter’s let alone impregnating some of them. If you ask me this is a classic case of child neglect and abuse. The mayor has done nothing but sweep it under a rug. If you ask me this whole town has lost their minds. Wake up people. These are your children.

It is not, nor should it ever be, the duty of the state to raise the children of its citizens.

I see people talking about sex education in school as if it were some kind of a solution to this problem. Many do this from an unspoken (and often unexamined assumption) that empowering the state at the expense of individuals and families is a solution to social ills. The government is not a humanitarian agency. Society is not improved when individuals are disconnected from their responsibilities and the consequences of their choices, it is destroyed.

Other people ask where the parents were. This is a much more productive question, but one that assumes that these parents were of adequate character and integrity. These girls did this not so much because their parents were not present in their lives, but because the values these parents were teaching their children through word and deed were fundamentally dysfunctional and self-destructive. These values were reinforced by the spiritually impoverished culture in which they lived.

White trash is as white trash does.

Classes in school aren’t going to fix that.