A Parent's Look at the Teen Pregnancy Pact
Monday June 23, 2008
It is all over the news and on the minds of many parents of teens, 18 girls at Gloucester high school in Massachusetts are pregnant and may have had a pregnancy pact, whereby they were all trying to get pregnant. It is being said that the girls got together and wanted someone to love them unconditionally, something cute to dress up, etc. All those romantic thoughts of love, marriage and babies. This is how young teen girls should be thinking, these are normal thoughts, for when they are thinking about the future – not the now! I’m not sure what the truth is in that community, if it was a teen pregnancy pact or not, but one fact remains: Gloucester high school has 18 pregnant teens and it needs to vamp up its sexual education classes and perhaps run the "Baby, Think It Over" development class for everyone.
Three things you can do to prevent your teen from choosing this path:
- Paint a brighter future. Start early getting college catalogs when your teen is a freshman. Talk to your teen about who he/she wants to be.
- Work on your teen’s body image. Help him/her see him/her self as a unique individual that has purpose.
- Keep sex and dating open topics of discussion in your home. Be involved in your teen’s life and know how he/she perceives these topics.
For our parenting community: What are your thoughts about this news? Have you been there? Do you have any advice to give these parents? How are you talking about it to your teen?
More:
- Screening Quiz: Is Your Teen Ready to Talk About Sex?
- Things That Make Talking About Sex to Teens Tough and What to Do About Them
- 10 Essentials Your Teen Needs to Know About Sex
- Single Parents Talk About the Teen Pregnancy Pact
- It's 3 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Teenager Is?
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Comments
What is going on there? Where are all these parents, we are talking about 36 kids lives here. I am never very popular with my words when it comes to this topic and only time will tell if it works. But I am very open with my children about sex and dating and about becoming pregnaut. I firmly tell my child, that having a baby before they are adults and living on their own, is unaccepatable and will not be tolerated. I tell them, mistakes happen but that this is one that will be advoided. I only wanted the two babies I had and have, and when they are out and on their own, they may then decide how many and when they want their own children, but not while they are my responsibility. I keep the talk exactly the same with my son as I do with my daughter. Did these parents just assume that their children, knew not to do this? Did they not teach sex education inside the homes as well as the school?
As a mother myself, I’d be horrified if my daughter got pregnant as a teen. I’ll make sure she watches shows like The Baby Borrowers, and not baby coverage on E! It starts with the parents I think, who was watching these girls?
Its funny how both of you say the same “where are the parents”, but the other question is where is sex education and even if parents were talking “when did they start”. My friend’s daughter started High School, catholic school and had her first sex ed class and the teacher said, “have any of your parents talked to you about sex” she was the only one in class to raise her hand. I also had one woman tell, “I don’t want anyone talking about sex with my daughter then she will do it, so I am putting her in catholic school”. My SIL and MIL truly beleive if you don’t say it, they won’t do it. Many people still think this way. My daughter is 14 and when I told her about the baby pact, she said “why would you do that?” then she told me some of her friends might have sex when they are old enough to drink, but her and her one friend are going to wait till marriage (she can hang out with this friend all the time now). Although I love this answer, I am also realistic and told her to make sure that no matter what you have to be careful. She also has taken care of her younger cousins, had my nephew spit up in her mouth, had her other cousins pull at her, etc. She knows that kids are hard work and you can’t do what you want cause the kids have demands on you. She has been kept up by kids that wouldn’t go to sleep, etc. Even babysitting is helpful, I loved kids, but I knew how hard it was. I babysat one 2 year old that didn’t let me pee alone, I was like 14, do I have to tell you that I was tired and wanted privacy after. A few dirty diapers and a baby that cries for an hour and I learned real quick, not easy. Loved it, but 24/7 I didn’t think so. So its not just us talking or having them watch, but experience too. FYI, I started early with my daughter cause I remember at 16 my mother sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher, in other words, she talked, but not one word was actually heard by me.
Oh and for this case I heard that someone was passing out contraception and got fired, they didn’t want anyone telling their kids how to protect themselves you think maybe that was part of the problem.
It isn’t the schools responsibility, it’s the parents. I just did a blog regarding this very topic on my web site www.myfeetarentugly.com. I am the author of My Feet aren’t Ugly, A girl’s guide to loving herself from the inside out, and this is a great opportunity for parents to talk to their teen about what it really means to have a baby as a teen. Today more then any other time we need to be communicating with our teens, not telling them what to do, but actually discussing the issues at hand. Let them be a part of the decision making process. Use the internet for information. When my oldest was 14 years old, I was sitting with her and a 2 of her friends, and I said “your pregnant what are you going to do”? They each had a different answer, but what it did do was bring light to the subject of teen pregnancy. Talk to your teens about everything, sex, pregnancy, suicide, body image.
Debra - I think its the parents responsibility, but if you are afraid to have sex ed at school, then its cause you are afraid to talk to your kids. That is really what I meant when they talked about dropping sex ed at these schools.
Ok, I’m a guy, so I may not be in touch with the whole self loving thing. I agree that watching positive programing like the baby borrowers would be helpful. But also participating in sports or something else that could help teenagers respect themselves is also a good idea.
I agree with John. I am 15 and with school and the school play productions and my volunteer work I don’t have TIME for a baby. Both my school and my parents are very open about talking about sex and although I certainly don’t plan on waiting till marriage, I DO plan on waiting till I am ready and in love to have sex and I plan to be protected when it happens. It is the schools AND the parents responsibilities. And having a hobby of sorts can help too.