Does Your Teen Have a Laptop? What Are Your Rules?
The article goes on to list the big scary things that can – and do – happen to kids online. Cyberbullying, sending naked pictures and talking to people they don’t know are big problems and need to be addressed. But what about the simple everyday problems that having a laptop without any limits can cause? Lack of sleep, not getting homework done and not going out to be active with friends are also problems that need to be addressed. Setting the rules and limits, being clear with your expectations and being fair and firm with your discipline is what makes potential problems like laptops easier to deal with regarding your teen.
I’ve published a parenting contract for laptop use. I hope it helps those who wish to set clear rules and limits with their teens who use laptops.
Asking the community: Do you feel these laptop issues are a part of a bigger problem with teens on the internet? If your teen has a laptop, how have you addressed these issues?
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We have a “Computers in open, well-travelled areas” (i.e. front room in our house) policy and laptops are no different. (My computer is there too.) It’s a non-issue in our home. It doesn’t matter who buys, who owns, etc. Rules are the same.
We have always been very strict with our children at first and given them privileges only when earned. After years of educating her and monitoring her computer use and never finding one thing inappropriate, we let our daughter choose a laptop for her room over a sweet 16 party. We still make her keep her door open and have the ability to monitor her keystrokes. She doesn’t abuse the privilege.
I am a working mom. So laptop or not in her room or public area won’t make that much difference when I am not there. So I watch what she does and let her know the rules about what she can and can’t do and make sure she understands the dangers. I know that at some point, I won’t be there and she will be along with her computer, or other things. So I try to find the balance and monitor things, etc. I also make sure she understands ramifications of what she does. So far at age 14 the kid is pretty down to earth. She gets that you don’t send e-mails when mad, you don’t talk about other people via e-mail and that posting on the internet if your not careful is like advertising everything to everyone. I also told her stories about girls not getting jobs because of the riskee pictures they posted on the web. I can’t do much better, I work, I am not home and she is home for at least 3 hours everyday without me, we have rules, but reality says that I can’t lean over her shoulder all the time, so I have to trust her a bit, but also make sure she understands its a priveledge to be trusted.
My father is a computer technician and so is my cousin and my elder brother. I have had my own computer since I was 7 and it was mine to use as I pleased. My parents trusted me and I never abused that trust. Now I have my own laptop, instead of a desktop and I can take it where ever I want because it’s mine and I may do with it what I wish to. However, I know not to visit certain sites and I know not to chat with someone I don’t know. To me that’s common sense and my parents have never needed to tell me that or monitor my activity on my computer to know that. And sometimes we don’t want you reading over our shoulder as we talk about that cute boy in class to our best friends. It’s certainly okay to worry and want to monitor your teen but if nothing in the past has led you to beleive they will be irresponsible you shouldn’t restrict the use of the laptop to an open area. If you wanted it to be restricted you should have bought a desk top.
The best method of warning your children of the dangers of Cybercrime is to sit down with them and show them actual criminal case results and statistics. Teach them ways to protect their Identity. Teenagers will always find ways around the rules, even if just out of curiosity.
The “Contract for Laptop Use” is wonderful, thanks! It’s such a great idea to spell out all the responsibilities and consequences. After doing research for articles on cyberbullying, I think a watchful eye is crucial.