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Porn on Teen's Computer

By August 28, 2009

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A mom wonders: I'm wondering how other parents feel about their kids having their own computers/laptops and having access to internet porn? We got our son his laptop (for school) just before he started college and I recently discovered he has many "questionable" sites he has been visiting by looking at his browser history. He normally has his computer shut down and has his own passwords so no one can get on it but one day it was just there on his bed and it was not shut down so I checked his website history out of curiosity. With all the other issues we are dealing with I really don't know how to approach this one - or if I even should. He is 18 and it is his computer so it's not like I can filter anything anymore. Should I try and talk to him about it or leave it alone?

Denise's thoughts: Unless it is causing him to spend all of his money or lock his bedroom door for days on end, I would leave it alone and deal with other issues first. At 18, he needs to make his own choices in these matters and be afforded some privacy.


If you would like to talk to him about your views on internet porn, by all means do so. Just wait for another opportunity to bring it up. But I would forego the 'questionable sites' on his computer. I do have a different opinion for younger teens, you can see it here.


Ask our community: Where is the line of talking to an older teen about private matters? Do you wait until the matter affects the family or not? Share your thoughts, opinions and experiences in the comments area.

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Comments
September 26, 2008 at 7:59 am
(1) Rebecca says:

My son too, started looking at porn sites. He’s 15 so I took an active stance against this. It has been proven over and over that the internet, internet porn, internet gaming, and just surfing the web can become addictive. But that aside, porn gives a young inexperienced person a totally UNREALISTIC view of what sex between two loving people should be about. I explored the sites my son was visiting so I could arm myself before I spoke with him and I dare say if you could see what your son has access to I’m pretty sure you would be quite shocked. These sites were nothing but degrading to women. Eighteen or not I hope you take a pro-active stance against this.

February 20, 2011 at 4:31 am
(2) Actuadacobnot says:

thanks for this nice post 111213

November 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm
(3) im 15 says:

Truth be told its now a 21st century thing, face it kid are losing thier virginity at 12 nowadays (girls and boys.) I’m 15 im telling from 1st person perspective.

September 26, 2008 at 4:18 pm
(4) John W. says:

I disagree with the advice given by Denise on pornography. It is addictive and also often times progressive. Teens that get addicted to any sort of pornography have a very hard time breaking free.

Many times, adults addicted to pornography have a difficult time having a satisfying sexual relationship with their mate.
They are used to only satisfying themselves, and the mate suffers sexually. You start to view others as sexual objects, rather than compassionately.

I feel that the best thing a parent can do is to gather some materials on the subject and talk to their children/teens about it. Yes, confront him or her in a non-jugemental way. There is an excellent book for young people by Sean Covey, the Author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, who has written another book for teens, The 6 Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make: A Guide for Teens.

It has an excellent chapter and reasoning on pornography that can help both a parent and teen in this area. It is an excellent, motivating book all the way around on a variety of subjects.

So while a liberal approach might cause a parent to ignore this problem, balanced non-judgemental confrontation can help a teen to be aware that it is not a good idea, that it can be hurtful in the long-term and that there are other alternatives in life.

September 26, 2008 at 4:49 pm
(5) Michelle Rascon says:

If he is living at home, then you definatly have every right to say something. Tell him the truth about porn. Dont make him feel ashamed or embarrassed but let him know you dont want that type of internet use done in the home. Of course you dont have to mention that you saw it on his computer but just tell him its something you want to talk to him about because of his age and the fact he now has unlimited access to it on his lap top. And dont look at his personal stuff again. Good luck.

September 26, 2008 at 5:06 pm
(6) Kim S. says:

I think that if he lives in your home he needs to follow your rules. So, if your rule is that he doesn’t view porn in your home then he needs to respect that. I do think your Husband (or you if you are a single mom) needs to have a conversation with your son about women and the proper way to view women with respect to sex…

September 27, 2008 at 2:38 pm
(7) Ray says:

While I agree porn can be addictive I think he should be allowed his privacy. There are a lot of things teens do that could cause harm if they carry them out(violent video games, scenes in movies, and the list goes on). I think that until changes are noticed in his behavior it should not be addressed.

September 30, 2008 at 9:28 am
(8) Michael Cafarelli says:

Statistics show that the pornography industry is growing significantly, in particular, on the internet.
• Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion dollars – $13 billion in the United States
• 12% of all websites are pornographic websites.
• There are 4.2 million pornographic websites
It’s not abnormal for an 18 year old to look at porn sites. However, there are other concerns you may want to be aware of such as:
• Every site he logs into places a ‘cookie; on his computer
• Search engines keep track of all sites he visits
• Does he have access to a family member’s credit card information? If so, it is possible that he could use this information to purchase ‘services’ through one of these sites
• He could be easily ‘duped’ to sign up for services on any one of these sites
• Porn sites are notorious for automatically installing their software on his computer which could be very difficult to remove
• Statistics show that viewing pornographic material on websites can become addictive
• If you have younger children in the house it’s he could expose them to these sites
These are some of the issues you want to be knowledgeable about before you make any decisions. I would suggest you talk to him when a good opportunity is available or you could begin a conversation about statistics you read in an article and ask what he thinks. It’s important to be able to have an open dialogue so that he feel comfortable talking with you.
Teenagers think they know everything and don’t want advice from parents, in particular about sex, so be careful and pay close attention to his behavior. As Denise mentioned, keep an eye on his behavior; does he look himself in his room? Is he spending an inordinate amount of time on his computer? Are there any changes in his overall behavior?
You may want to consider visiting our website, http://www.GuardChild.com . A website that helps parents protect their children online. The site also has a Community membership (now at ½ price) where you have access to well over 300 websites (and many more embedded in these sites) sorted by category and in these area there are several sites available to you that will provide you with additional information including sites that discuss the signs of computer addiction, etc.

September 30, 2008 at 3:02 pm
(9) Harsha says:

Hi, I’m a 23 year old guy. Why would any parent police his kid over viewing pornography when he is 18? I mean, do you how much gore and violence is featured in some of the R rated movies? He can watch that but can’t watch porn? Stop this nonsense about how porn addictive is porn. It’s not a psychoactive drug like cocaine. He must warned about child porn and that he’ll go to jail if he is possesses it any form. When the age of consensual sex is 16, why can’t he watch porn at 18. That seems absurd to me. Why do parents even get upset about. They are teens. If you block the sites, he’ll watch it at his friend’s place. Who pays for porn on the internet these days? Only middle aged computer illiterates do I believe. There are literally thousands of websites that provide free content. I would say parents shouldn’t worry about kids who are over 16 in this matter. I would be much concerned how well they do in school.

October 4, 2008 at 1:47 am
(10) bob says:

When I was a kid we used to sneak a peak at dad’s Playboy magazine. Healthy sexual curiousity is normal-don’t fight it.

October 4, 2008 at 11:09 am
(11) Magnus says:

He’s 18 years old for heaven’s sake. He’s eligible for the draft, can sign contracts, and go to jail as an adult.

I agree with the advice given. A little porn is not going to hurt him or make him a bad person. (Overdoing it to the point of disfunction is another story.) There are many things that can be overdone, though.

I’m worried more about you… Do you think that you might be a copter? A little too hovering and, perhaps, smothering? I mean, even a spot check on your kid and regular oversite, can lead to overdoing it, which then leads into you becoming a smothering, spying, overly involved, crazed micromanaging parent and your kid becoming the next Norman Bates! I say this tongue in cheek, as means to point out that the posts here saying porn leads to the destruction of western civilization are overboard. I don’t want to think about what hang ups their kids have.

Give him some space on this one…

BTW, I’m a 42 year old father of 3.

October 5, 2008 at 8:53 am
(12) Laura Nisbet says:

I think it’s funny to see that the men that have taken the time to comment all say that there’s nothing wrong with it and he should be able to do what he wants. On the other hand, us women feel it is harmful in the way it portrays women, normal relationships, and “normal sex”. We’re not talking about dad’s Playboy anymore with naked women alone. We’re talking about kids who are allowed to view shocking, to women at least, material with both normal and abnormal sexual practices. It’s a hard balance to find becaus as a mom I’m wrestling at not shaming my son for being curious but also not allow him to go down the road of some sexual predator too. Norman Bates was mentioned by a guy so I’ll offer up Ted Bundy and many other serial killers who claim that they owe what they became to porn. When the softcore porn did not satisfy any longer they progressed on and on until even the hardest core porn did not satisfy and led to their crimes. Now of course they are the extremes but I’m just hoping to illustrate the point that it is indeed addictive. Ask any woman if they feel cheated on to a degree when their spouse or partner view porn. Most will say say, “Yes, to a degree.” There is nothing wrong with boys being curious, but there’s nothing wrong with them behaving in a manner fit of a gentlemen either.

October 11, 2008 at 1:53 am
(13) Travis says:

It ridiculous to sling the word “addiction” around so carelessly. People that are actually addicted to a substance know what addiction is. A couple overprotective parents just use it as justification to stop their son from viewing sites they don’t like. For real, the kid is 18 years old and can make his own decisions. You are a better parent if you hand over responsibility to him instead of babying him all his life and telling him what to do. Also, to the person that thinks porn makes serial killers. Wow. Just wow. There have been serial killers for all eternity and there will continue to be, regardless of whether porn is around. You can’t prove that porn causes serial killers just because you heard one say that he kills because of porn. If it isn’t porn that drives him insane, it will be something else. You are just looking for something to blame. It’s human nature.

And don’t act like the majority of porn is unrealistic. Don’t act like the majority of porn isn’t what you would enjoy. You are thinking of the lowest kind of porn, with blood, violence and poop fetishes. Normal porn (99% of porn) is just standard. It isn’t degrading. Society might label it as such and you might claim that what is depicted is something terrible, but that is only because you don’t want to be labeled as weird by society. You know you would enjoy every second of most porn.

October 14, 2008 at 1:22 pm
(14) JOJO says:

Until a woman knows what the effects of normal amounts of testosterone are on the male libido, (i.e., 20 times that of female testosterone levels)then she has no informed standing to offer evaluation of men and their apporach to sexuality, porn or otherwise!

October 21, 2008 at 8:20 pm
(15) Ben says:

It dosen’t matter he is 18 he can watch porn if he wants and you can’t do anything about it. What idon’t understand is why you would look up what he’s been going to on HIS computer it’s as if you wanted to find the questionable site i think you need to understand he does not need you snooping in his life.

October 23, 2008 at 12:39 am
(16) Johann says:

In response to the original question posted “how do you feel about your kid having access to internet porn?” I think the bigger question is for the Mom and others who are in this situation. How do you feel you raised your kid? I’m not going to go in to religion because to each their own on that one. Do you feel that you taught them about respecting him-/herself and others? Did you talk to him/her about the sexual urges of the human body and how the body changes? Did you talk to him/her about relationships?

Just because a parent takes away porn doesn’t change the fact that the young man is feeling sexual urges and is curious. It’s naturally. Sex feels good. Oo I said it. Fetus’s masturbate for crying out loud. People go through those feelings. The bigger issue is how are you as parent going to help your child understand those feelings.

Eventually the child is going to be on their own and as a parent I imagine you would want your child to understand who they are, be better than you were, independent, able to make rational decisions for themselves, be honorable, respectful, and loving. When a child reaches a certain age level and mental capacity to make informed decisions, a parent needs to stop treating them like a child or else they’ll never learn to stand on their own two feet.

Now, I will say kudos to the Mom for actually being a parent and wanting to know what is going on in their child’s life. If only more parents did that then maybe we’ll all be better for it. I’ll even go so far as saying wouldn’t it be nice if kids weren’t afraid of their parents and would actually willingly approach their parents about life, like watching porn. Maybe the child wouldn’t feel like he needed to lock their computer. The caveat to that is though, if you are going to inquire in to your child’s life you need to be prepared for the unexpected and deal with it as an adult would deal with it and not put them in a cage because you don’t like what they are doing. They’ll be extremely adverse at that point to ever confide in you again.

I agree with Denise and don’t approach your son directly about him visiting porn sites because there is a reason he is putting a password on his computer. He probably doesn’t want you looking and he is not going to react well to the fact that you invaded his life. Maybe you should have asked a long time ago why he felt the need to lock his computer.

I can see if he was 11 and doesn’t understand what he is looking at and you want to restrict his access in order for him to learn about sex and relationships from you and not from a pornstar. In this case the child is 18 years old. I’m assuming he is of sound mind and body, so talk to him and treat him as such.

Hope this helps…

November 2, 2008 at 2:59 pm
(17) Tiffbear says:

I had the same problem with my boyfriend and I used porn vigil from http://www.pornvigil.com and it did help a little. We’ve also had therapy. It’s been hard but we work as a team to fight it. My boyfriend doesn’t look at porn as much anymore to my knowledge but he still could be buying tapes or magazines. It’s upsetting

November 7, 2008 at 1:03 am
(18) Molly says:

You people are too uptight. A child needs to masturbate and look at porn. He will learn soon that everything he sees is not true and he wont get addicted to online porn. let kids experiment.

November 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm
(19) bigboy says:

You know, porn is a really terrible thing. You get an endorphin high when you masturbate just like when you drink alcohol or do drugs. I would like to tell you women that it has nothing to do with you if the guy is addicted and wants to stop. It’s almost not even sexual. It’s like a drug, you just need it. When you get stressed, you look at it. When you are not even thinking about it, you just get this itch for it. I have a girlfriend who I know would be devastated if she knew I looked at porn, but I can’t stop for the life of me. I’ve looked at it since I was little, and I still do. I don’t want those women on the screen, I want her, but I still am compulsed to look at them night after night.

If your kid is looking at porn, you should do whatever it takes to stop them before they can’t stop themselves later. It’s like a friend of mine once said here at the university: “you’re not an alcoholic until you graduate.” It’s not fun for something to have power over you.

The main way to deal with sexual feelings is to find someone you can actually talk to honestly about them. That’s hard, especially in the Christian community. People just don’t want to talk about it, unless it’s contained within a joke.

November 8, 2008 at 11:58 pm
(20) bigboy says:

Also, I think that porn addiction is a little different today from what it was in our parents’ time. Magazines take some work to procure, especially if you don’t want anyone to know. They cost money too. But kids today have access on their laptop or blackberry or whatever right there in their room where it’s dark and secret. You don’t have to wait to get your kicks, and you can’t get mad and burn your magazine so you have a month of freedom til the next one comes, but instead you have the computer sitting there staring at you.

You old guys who say you stole a peak at the playboys and didn’t get addicted are coming from a whole different era of porn and it’s pervasiveness. You’re kids don’t even have to get on the computer for it. Just have them watch Manswers on Spike or the Girls Next Door or stay up late for Girls Gone Wild commercials.

My spiel is just to say that it’s important to take care of your kids, and you’re not sheltering them when you try and censor some of this stuff. I mean, sure, they’ll see it one day, but maybe they’ll have been sheltered enough that they can not be ruled by it. I can sit and look at a bottle of alcohol and not be tempted because alcohol was taboo during my childhood. If porn is taboo during your kids’ childhood, then maybe they will be able to simply close the Sultry Stacy pop-up ad or change the channel when the porn infomercial comes on.

November 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm
(21) Me says:

18 year old male here.

My question to you is this. Has he recently become involved in a relationship with a girl that is looking to become serious?

I looked at some when I first saw things getting serious with my girlfriend. I didn’t like what I was looking at, and was ashamed for looking, but I was scared to death that if something happened I wouldn’t know what to do.
I’m not saying your guilty of this, but most parents do not talk to their children in depth about sex. They wait too long because they don’t want to traumatize their baby, and then it’s too late, and the kids too old to talk to about that because of embarrassment issues. As for the sex-ed in schools, it’s a joke. I don’t know how it was for your son, but from kindergarted to the time I graduated, I had three sex-ed classes, each one an hour long. The extent of what I learned is pitiful. Slick-side out, abstinance is best, we got aids from monkeys.

He’s 18, he knows the difference between fact and fiction. I’m sure he’s played violent games, and he hasn’t killed anyone yet. If he sees something that isn’t realistic in a sexual perspective, he’ll know. What he’s doing is gaining what information he needs to comfortably move on in his life.

That said, if it does become something of a problem, he should be confronted and talked to about it. Let him make his own choice, because if you talk to him now about it, before he’s had that chance, he may make the wrong one just in spite of you.

December 3, 2008 at 6:00 pm
(22) KiDz Idea>>>>>.... says:

…………….. wthhhhh???? no one answerd my question (i looked thoough 6 sites) whats so bad about watchin porn its normal i bet if you right now go to your sons computer and click history you will find it(sooner or later) but your thinking what if he becomes a pervert well he will get over it one day i know some people are like wana **** wana **** and i know some people are like quiet because there parents are like Xd with there kids. well if hes like Xd with watching porn just tell them if you have a chance to stop because there losein sperm. there gona think bot it all day no questiion bot it.

December 19, 2008 at 12:59 am
(23) for real says:

JOJO is on the money! It’s the testosterone levels. You raise the levels in women and they will get freaky about sex too.

Males look at porn for curiosity first. If your son is shy, or has trouble meeting, and interacting with females, the porn may be a substitute.

And, as has been mentioned by many others, he is 18, a full-fledged adult. He can be jailed, fight for his country, enter into contracts, and move away from his meddling mother.

But, the porn is still under your roof. If you don’t like it, he can either remove it, or move out.

December 22, 2008 at 3:51 pm
(24) Joe says:

Internet porn is addictive – there’s no doubt about it! I was addicted for over 6 years on something that started with mere curiosity. These websites are designed as traps to get those who visit them to get “hooked” to come back for more and more as many times that they can in one day. It totally distorts proper views towards sex and women. It openly tells you that anal sex, oral sex are safe and okay, and that women want to have semen in their mouths and love being a playtoy and being exploited — this is simply not true!! I almost lost everything on this addiction – there were days that were marathon runs in which I could easily spend 8-10 hrs watching porn and fantasizing over all these beautiful women who are really just fake and fantasy – when I came back to reality — my whole world was a mess — I was a mess – and I would come crashing down so low for days — and then the whole thing would start up again. I’m finally free from porn addiction – the best thing to do is stop it before it does become a habit and eventually a life-ruining addiction.

December 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm
(25) Anomyous says:

I’m a 16 year old girl and i can honestly say i am addicted to porn, but i’m trying to replace this habit. Anyway i recently caught my younger ssister attempting to watch porn on the internet, and i don’t know how to go about talking with her, because i don’t want her to become addicted to it as i am. i just have no idea how to confront her, and i really don’t want to involve our mom because she is really stressed and busy trying to work and pay bills without having a job at the moment[she & my dad just divorced] so i don’t want to stress her even more. i just want to keep my sister from becoming addicted to porn.

December 29, 2008 at 2:17 pm
(26) Ray says:

Not only is it degrading to women, it is also degrading to men. They portray men as animals who have only 1 thing on their mind. If anything, it is more degrading to men. I am tired of people assuming the man is always the bad guy. By the way, how come kids in other countries have even more access to this type of material; however, they have nowhere near the problems we do? It’s in the parenting. A kid can see all kinds of porn, but strong parenting will always overcome the potential negative impacts.

January 1, 2009 at 7:56 pm
(27) Suzanne says:

I just caught my 12 year old niece (who lives with me) looking at porn on the internet. I have chosen to delay my “talk”with her until later tonight when I am calmer and I have had a chance to formulate my words. Points I want to make: porn is degrading to women, and she should not get her idea of what womanhood is by looking at these sites; her internet access will now be strongly overseen (she’s been good, and so I left her for an hour while she was doing research for a class project. silly me). I do plan to tell her that we understand her curiosity in sexuality and that it is normal to be curious.

At this moment tho I feel like “Oh God Oh God Oh God…”

January 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm
(28) sacl says:

It’s worrying how people use the word “addiction” so easily. I watch porn every time so often, and nothing happens to me. I’m not addicted to it – it is just a normal thing a teen does to facilitate masturbation. And I seriously doubt there is a thing such as “porn addiction”. Sex addiction exists and it is one of the worst things which can happen to you, but that is different.

AND… he is not a teen or a child or a kid!!! He’s a man, for God’s Sake. You can give him your opinion and he will positively benefit from it, but nothing else.

January 3, 2009 at 2:45 pm
(29) john says:

You dnt understand that you’re addicted to porn unless you want to quit it. Without help from above its really hard.

Im still struggling. (Im 23m by the way)

February 4, 2009 at 2:52 am
(30) Veronica says:

Hi I know that this takes serious work on this issue. I just want to give you a little solution al least regarding to the porn in the computer, there is a software that can scan and remove pornography just follow this link http://avive7777.arkada1.hop.clickbank.net I hope this help

February 8, 2009 at 11:24 am
(31) Linda Christensen says:

Even though you say you can’t filter it anymore, it is still a good idea to look on the computer once in a while to make sure his porn watching does not stray into improper territory. What I do with my 16 year old is to plug in a USB stick with some scanning software when he’s not around (Remember the USB part so it doesn’t leave a trace) so I can see what he’s looking at. You can use snitch (hyperdynesoftware.com) or smutscanner (www.smutscanner.com) for example as an easy way to find porn even if he’s tried to hide it. If you want to stop him from looking at porn altogether you can also block porn sites on the router level. Several consumer routers have software that can permanently block access to all improper sites for the entire LAN.

February 21, 2009 at 8:16 pm
(32) David Smithe says:

I think the whole ‘scan’ his computer method is very untrusting. If you trust your child, let them do what they will. It is perfectly normal fro teenagers to watch porn out of pure curiosity. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know that porn ‘isn’t like real sex.’ Parents today think children are idiots. Stop with the whole tracking nonsense, especially if the child is over 18 – when it’s totally legal. And ‘the sex talk’ is always embarrassing, stop banging on about having casual talks.

April 1, 2009 at 12:20 am
(33) Liz says:

I was once an addicted teen to internet porn and I first handedly know the affects of what it can do to a person, and more inportantly, a teenager. I mean, I was in it everday. After school for at least 3 hours before my mom and dad got home from work. It began as a curiousity and even from that, it escalated to everyday. I couldn’t stop myself from clicking. Literally, for 8 years now, I have been addicted and it still is a struggle. So even if it is a just a small number a sites, there is a huge possibilty of him getting into some sites I’m sure would blow those sites out of the water! It can start out as something so innocent, but really turn ugly, fast. It’s been 8 years since I first saw one, and I still struggle with it everyday. So I would talk to him about it; I’m not a parent, but I know when I finally did tell my mom about it, it was one of the most liberating things ever. It felt like the whole world had been lifted off my shoulders. I think it’s better parents know, so that they can lead their children into something other than a dark, nasty place like what porn can lead you in. It may seem fun and harmless, but the lasting effects are something you must live with everyday.

June 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm
(34) michael v. says:

well he is eighteen and with all these things going on in our world he probably started watching porn at 13 or 14 and he was thaught sex ed so he already knew and its normal for a 18 year old boy to watch porn !!!!!

June 10, 2009 at 1:34 pm
(35) Mac says:

To all those who say porn is degrading to women: you do realize that the women in pornos want to be there right? it’s not like we men are terrible sex fiends who kidnap women and force them into fulfilling our sick sexual desires. The women volunteer to be there and, quite frankly, many of them are really excited to do it. I personally know a number of people who would love to be in a porno.

As far as your son goes, i say let this one go. if he’s not watching enough porn for it to affect his grades and/or his social life, then it really shouldn’t be a problem. i would be much more concerned with the other issues that you mentioned you’re dealing with instead of your 18 year old son being curious about pornography.

July 23, 2009 at 12:52 am
(36) Noname says:

Look, i am 13 and i have seen porn more than once, and i dont have a skewed view on what sex should be about, it should be between 2 people that love eachother. i do not have a lowered respect for women, i respect women probably more than men. anyway, its fine. we will ALL see this eventually. I don’t think its the age of the person, its the maturrity of the person that matters. NO i am not scarred from pornography, i think its just fine. But don’t punish the poor kid. what would be best, from my point of view, is not to talk about it at all. we KNOW you don’t like it. And if you tell us that you have seen our internet history, we will NEVER EVER trust you again. just stay out of our business.

August 28, 2009 at 7:52 am
(37) Maral says:

i think you should not talk about that topic.i am sure that most of teens watch porn by their laptops.of course I don’t.But I have a lot of friends who watch porn.your children are growing up day-by-day.maybe it is incompatible for you ,but this is physical necessity.

August 28, 2009 at 2:20 pm
(38) Debbie says:

I also disagree with Denise on the issue of porn on your son’s computer. We have a rule in our house, that if you are not using computers properly, then there will be consequences. My 24 year old daughter, who is living with us after graduating from college, knows this rule, and abides by it. We tell our kids, we have three, anyone should be able to use any computer in our house without hiding. That truly is a good rule of thumb, no matter what the age or the family member. Pornography is a huge problem facing our society and to me, it is not something you can “leave alone” at any age. It will not go away and the questionable sites today become totally inappropriate in a very short period of time. Too much temptation, and her son needs intervention by his parents who love and need to protect him from a addictive lifestyle.

August 28, 2009 at 10:44 pm
(39) Feed the right wolf says:

First of all I am a porn addict. I am 27 y/o btw. I grew up in soviet union, and I was about 8-9 when Soviet Union fell apart. Soviet Union had no sex education. As soon as it feel apart,we had all kinds of freedoms, including the freedom of sex and porn. My parents, having no education and assuming that everybody else in the western world done it watched porn at home, and let us watch it too. This was the greatest thing I have seen. It was so fun, and exciting, and made me dream how I can get all of the stuff that I saw one day. As I grew older I kept looking for porn. I also dreamed that I would find a girl that I would really love. But until I find her.. I would just keep dreaming, porn was a part of my fantasy… When I was 14 my parents got divorced, I am pretty sure porn messed my dad up… And I really didn’t want to be like him when I grew up… But I kept watching porn, since I knew it was “healthy” and everybody else does it. All my life I though that I will be able to stop if I found the right person, that there is no danger associate with it. When I was 23 I met the women of my dreams. I loved her with all my heart, and I didn’t want to cheat on her. So whenever I would feel tempted I would watch porn, relieve myself and feel better. Slowly it began to escalate. Also it was the first time I had unlimited access to the internet with high bandwith, so not only I could watch porn, it was as much as I wanted and as seek as I wanted. Soon I would get used to regular stuff. And would look for harder and hared stuff. Within two years I went from normally function human being, to somebody who would stay up watching porn till 4 in the morning even if I had an important test at 6… I lost truck of who I was, I couldn’t concentrait, I felt depressed… I am not in recovery… Its been two years, and I am still struggling.

More than anything I wish that my parents would have come to me and said. Son, porn is like alcohol. If you abuse it you will ruin your life. Here are examples of people who it happened to, learn from their mistakes…

I don’t blame my parents, but every time I hear somebody say something like “Watching porn is healthy” and “there is no danger there”… It make me twitch…

To all the guys who say you are not addicted to porn. Try to stop watching for 30 days.

To the parents. I suggest you visit http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Sex-Pornography-Addiction/support-group This is a support group for porn addicts and is filled with other people stories, so you can use as example for your kids.

A great book on the subject is “Out of the shadows” by Dr. Carnes

August 29, 2009 at 12:17 am
(40) Janice says:

Porn can be addicting. Smoking can be addicting. Drinking can be addicting. Throwing up after you eat can be addicting. Overeating can be addicting. Shall I go on?

Sex is a natural part of who we are as human beings. At some age you need to be allowed to express some of that. As a 47 year old woman – I enjoy porn, and after reading the comments here, if I were a more insecure person, I would think I were some kind of freak. However, I am not addicted. Didn’t get addicted to smoking either, surprise, some people can smoke for over 10 years and just quit.

I would not allow my younger children to watch porn, however, at 18, I would hope that I raised them with values and educated them enough to make intelligent, informed decisions for themselves.

At some point you have to let them go, let them grow up, let them make their own choices. Sex (and I do mean sex, not love) is not the work of the devil. . . it is the work of God, it is the way He made us. That it is often explored in ways that does not appeal to you does not make it evil.

If it interfers with his ability to live a satisfying life, then it is a problem, until then . . . it’s pretty normal. Do you not trust what you taught him?

August 29, 2009 at 9:33 am
(41) Morgan says:

I strongly disagree with Denise’s comments. I believe it is our responsibility as parents to help “filter” out anything that can hurt our teens. Although much of the population believes porn is “just a guy thing”, as a Christian mom, I obviously believe that viewing porn is wrong and extremely destructive. As a family therapist, I have seen the deteriorating effects of porn with numerous men. Every sex addict I have treated started out viewing porn. (I am not saying that everyone who views porn becomes a sex addict) I would encourage you to speak with your son about pornography and how it can hurt his relationship with women in REAL life. As a last note, you and your husband purchased the computer, so if you continue to find pornography on it, you can take it away. This wouldn’t stop him from saving money and purchasing his own computer, but it might make him think twice. Good luck.

August 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm
(42) Paul says:

How is he able to access the porn? If your home is like many of ours, you may have a wireless gateway into your home that he picks up on his laptop. Most of these gateways can be programmed to block particular sites and key words. If he laters asks why he can’t view particular items, you have an opportunity for discussion.
Without any difficult discussion, you can add this safeguard to your home, and there is no reason not to. Porn is difficult to handle for many people. Part of growing up is learning to restrict what you allow yourself to ingest. Although my employer tries to block access to porn on our work computers, there are still occasional incidents of terminations for people who get around the obstacles to view it, even at work! My employer is not tolerant in this area.

August 31, 2009 at 11:07 am
(43) heather says:

he is 18 and in college, I would handle it this way if it were my child…I would tell him that he may not look at porn in my house. You can’t stop him from looking at it, however if he lives with you and you pay the internet bill every month, then you have a right to make rules and if he can’t follow them 18 or not then cut the source off and cancel the internet service. I would tell my kid when you pay the bills you can look at what ever and whereever you choose. That would mean he would have ot take over all the bills in your house including rent or mortgage.

September 5, 2009 at 1:43 pm
(44) Sam says:

I am 18 also, I go crazy if my mother touch’s my stuff with out asking me I don’t poke through her personal stuff either! Although she smothering in many over ways. Any even though we agreed that I am almost an adult so far to date I have good track record (Never not in trouble with law or at school for a major incident) I know that if I left my laptop out she might be temped to look at it! So I don’t in fact’s it’s my sister (21) who goes through my stuff because she knows that 8/10 look up questionable content on their computer fortunately none of mine never been found! But It’s no ones business really! Ok to be fair the content usually fake ad portrays women as mass sluts but if your son is intelligent he can differentiate between Fantasy and reality believe or not we do like cuddly type romance but I can see my it worry you that he watches this. 1st don’t be worried it’s normal type behavior if you think that he is smart enough to know it isn’t real portraying of how women like to have sex then leave him alone otherwise have quick word tell him that you found the site’s you’re sorry for intruding his laptop but you forgot he was 18 for a moment and couldn’t help noting be shame of (one of those mom things where you have to hide you’re true feelings)that he 18 and can view what ever he want’s but that you want him to know that porn is fake that if dared talked to any girl like that he find nearest cup of coffee over his head or if you don’t do dialogue send one of those “what women really want in bed” booked my gf bought me one and really does show the fiction of porn (most guy haven’t a clue about how girls fake orgasms because penetration isn’t enough)OK your a Mom that be slightly freaky stuff coming from someone same age as your son but you son had come from somewhere? You son will or is having sex and not only is this about your views on porn but how may or may not influence his views on the reality of sex! but also another reality is he a man overflowing with testosterone and stuff so it ok for him to watch it just that he understands it!

September 5, 2009 at 10:59 pm
(45) Susan says:

Okay, first of all – Sam, you might want to trade some of the time you spend looking at porn for a good book, and some grammar lessons. Your arguments are inarticulate, thus greatly affecting your credibility.
No one who has an addiction started out as an addict. The idea that you leave it alone, treat it as natural, or ‘boys will be boys’ is appalling. Curiosity? Sadly, of course they’ll be curious. No one involved in regular viewing of porn is going to have a normal, let alone really satisfying, sexual relationship. They are mutually exclusive. You are deeply naive if you think this doesn’t affect you long term. Marriages are wrecked because of this. To say that you should only be concerned about child porn is one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever heard. As a family therapist, I can tell you that this issue is incredibly pervasive and damaging. If your teen is viewing this, then by all means talk to them. Ideally, Dad will ramp up the time spent with him to address this issue; however, if that’s not availalbe, mom has to step in. Do not take this lightly. To say it is not as damaging as cocaine is just ignorant. No other way to put it.

September 9, 2009 at 3:21 pm
(46) Matt says:

Nothing can replace good, old-fashioned parental supervision. You need a good tool that can help you see what’s on your children’s / husband’s computer.

detect porn with SurfRecon pornography detection and deletion tools. See what your filter has been missing.

September 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm
(47) Matt says:

One more thing. Sex is not porn. That is the kind of sex that is fulfilling, healhty and brings joy into your life.

The only thing you are going to learn from watching porn is how NOT to have healthy relationships. Forget the addiction part, there are so many other problems attributed to viewing porn, such as objectifying women and men, developing deviant attitudes and behaviors, devaluing marriage and family, dissatisfaction with ones significant other, job loss, divorce, and incarceration–why anyone one would expose themselves to that kind of harm on a regular basis is beyond me.

It’s not Adult stuff. Truth be told, it is childish.

September 23, 2009 at 11:29 pm
(48) M. says:

I’m turning 26 and have been watching porn since I was quite young…Maybe 15? Younger? And I can see very clearly how disturbing it may be to have your own son looking at sexual pictures… Its just creepy! But lets step back from being an overbearing parent and put ourselves in their shoes for a second… You know like your parents never did with you!

It was always a good release when I was younger. Were it not for porn I probably would have had sex at a much earlier age. Would you prefer them pleasuring themselves or pleasuring real people? Excuse me…But at the age of 15 sex is one of the biggest things on your mind… Don’t trick yourself into thinking they aren’t talking about what they want to do with Cindy from math class with their friends. I think having some sort of RELEASE is good, they’re going to see it in 3 more years when they hit college anyways… Otherwise who knows what trouble they will get into?

I read a comment about unrealistic expectations and laughed my ass off. Sex is about love yes but remember its also about passion and experimenting. My girlfriend and I have an amazing sex life,…Yes, despite the fact that I watched porn a lot growing up… *eyeroll* Actually I learned a lot from porn. If it weren’t for porn and the internet it may have taken me a lot longer to learn how to give a woman a multiple orgasm… Which (not to brag) I can do quite well. My gf is QUITE happy with me… And we are very comfortable with each other. So perhaps if you think great sex is an unrealistic expectation you should watch more porn yourself or get your husband to. :P

In the end…. We are just animals … The naked body is nothing to be feared, and sex is beautiful. You owe your life to sex, so try giving it a little credit please…?

Lastly, I do agree with ONE thing. Some types of porn are disrespectful to women. But guess what? Some types of porn are also disrespectful to men! Surprise! Regardless, If you think watching porn will turn your son into a womanizer or some sort of monster… that just tells me you have very little faith in the kind of person your son is, and may turn out to be, and that might actually be the worst thing to come out of this discussion and is a reflection on you yourself.

So… As someone who is closer to your sons age, perhaps you can take my views and imagine if they may apply to your son as well.

That is my view on the situation, if it offends you I suggest you keep looking until you find an opinion that fits your personality type…

M.

October 9, 2009 at 12:24 pm
(49) Mysterious Man says:

OMG KEEP OFF HIS COMPUTER YOU FREAK !!!!!!!!!

October 26, 2009 at 11:56 am
(50) Jane says:

Who cares your son is in college hes an adult let him do what he wants on his own time and on hes on laptop. Also i can see that you have trust issues because why would you look up to see what and were hes been . GROW UP !!!!!

November 5, 2009 at 3:39 am
(51) wasmonkey says:

I don’t even know why I am throwing in my two cents, BUT here it is.
YES-porn can destroy relationships
YES-porn can keep young kids inside their homes watching it
YES-It can escalate, and it will escalate
The real question you have to be asking is what is it really doing to your son? Everything we see in the media everything we watch, everything we hear, it’s all about sex. Think of the last five movies you watched. How many of these movies portrayed sex as an influential part of the plot? It’s really just in our nature. But if you want to make sure your kid never loses his purity then keep him in a room, lock him away and maybe one day he will be ready for the REAL world. It’s really just a shame, this generation is primarily raised by woman, much more then the generation before us and people are still surprised that these women in porn are being discriminated against. At home they are the main authority figure, (ex. clean your plate, wash your clothes, don’t stay out late, don’t do drugs) then you go into your social life and woman are the gate keepers of sexuality, mind you the double standard woman are forced to appeal to is ridiculous. They have to ask out the girl, whose father is trying to keep her AS FAR away from sex as physically possible, try to get some sex. Mean while he’s not getting it he knows one way he can get power of something he normally can’t. It’s kind of funny woman just want to be treated equally in society, men just want to have sex with them, and no one is really ever happy.
Random dirty question…. I wonder how many of these super moms out here that say that porn is TERRIBLE ask their husbands to try anal. The whore mom that realizes it was a mistake, and history repeats itself.

December 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm
(52) chuck says:

Your son is 18 (legally an adult). It’s none of your business what’s on his computer. How would you feel if he walked into your bedroom and just started looking through your personal things? How would you feel if he walked in on you while you were having quality time with your husband?

So, yes, what you did was wrong. Normally, it’s best to apologize to the other person when invading their privacy, but given the nature of this situation, I would keep it to yourself as it would only embarrass him.

If he was 14, then yes, it’s your business. At 18, no ma’am. You should be happy your son hasn’t gotten a girl pregnant by that age.

Given your relationship with your son, I’m not at all surprised with the fact that he locks his computer. With a mother like you, I’d move out as soon as I could and stop talking to you until you learn to respect my privacy as an adult.

December 10, 2009 at 9:03 pm
(53) Anon says:

NO. You committed a terrible breach of privacy by looking at your son’s history. You should NOT have done that.

Internet porn, by all means, is not very good of a thing, but in most cases is not addictive. To be crass, people get horny, bring up some porn, wank one out, and are done with it. Sometimes it lasts a little longer, but who cares.

Porn has as little to do with relationships when older as much as having a girlfriend/boyfriend in high school. Some people may say that it can make men/boys think that sex is some kind of fantastic event lasting for hours on end with busty women, but that’s not the case. We all know the truth.

December 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm
(54) glow up says:

18 and you’re worries about porn

news flash: he’s been looking at porn since 13 or so.. that’s five years

porn is just one lust outlet

you clamp down at home and the desire simple doesn’t stop

he’ll find porn at a friends house (been there done that) or escalate … uh oh.. to actual sexual activity

would you rather have your teen fornicating or masturbating?

December 18, 2009 at 2:47 am
(55) thumper says:

The kid is 18, so he’s legally able to view the sites. Look at it this way, he’s not doing any harm. He’s not out sleeping with tons of girls if he’s looking at porn, so no STDs or children. Plus it’s actually been proven to be healthy to have regular ejaculation.

The only issues I see with porn is that it’s very unrealistic and yes, demeaning to women. If anything, have your husband address that and be prepared for him to get pissed off for invading his privacy.

For what it’s worth, I’m a 20 year old male who has looked at his fair share of internet smut.

January 2, 2010 at 7:43 am
(56) Daniel says:

Im a male of 16 years and i do agree that porn can become an addiction. But i disagree that parents should be greatly worried about this issue. i am aware of the graphic and inappropriate images and video that is out there. but i know from experience that is not what us teens are into. We mainly use it to just release some steam. i think that parents should not talk to there kids about not to watch porn, i think you guys need to ask your kids what sort of porn they watch. if u are worried about your kids relationships then unless they are addicts and your usage is going thought the roof, their is nothing to greatly worry about. i know that with my guy friends they all have should girlfriends and porn is just the extra buzz that we get.

so in regard to your sons porn habit, i think just let him do what he does because most likely he has been doing it for a long time at age 18. he at that age will understand how a real relationship works.

January 13, 2010 at 2:52 pm
(57) fake name is lets see...how about ... eugene says:

Okay he may be 18 but what the heck he lives under *your* roof in *your* house right? and *you* gave the him his frekain life and watched over him up until this point right? so whether he is 18 or not he is *your* son who lives in *your* house legally he can practically do whatever he wants but personally he is still *your* son in *your* house so if *you* don’t agree with it let him know and address him! who cares how awkward it is! let him know as long as he is under *your* roof no matter what the law says he goes by *your* rules and if he chooses not to listen fine but you at least deserve to be listened to in your own home! let him know watching pornagraphy comes from lust and lust comes from something that started young whether it was friends in school talking about things or him possibly hearing/seeing something affectionate between you and your spouse or just being curious on his new computer with the thoughts men think about while alone. my point is porn is addicting and come his wedding night his wife may feel a little less speacil realizing he has had extrem lust for another women a women he didn’t know remeber a tip for guys : on your wedding night the love feels even more special when we know you have waited until that night to do anything, you never cheated on us, you have never taken a womens body for advantage (as in slapping a strangers butt or masturbating while remembering a random girl)

January 19, 2010 at 4:09 am
(58) 18 Year old says:

I am 18, I have probably been looking at porn since I was between 12-14. I think woman have trouble understanding that at our age we are pretty much horny all the time. If were with our friends were either talking about video games, sports or women. We understand that woman aren’t just sex things, we enjoy relationships and romance. I wish I had someone to cuddle with or just be here with me to go to the movies or watch TV. I believe most men/teens (in this age) are more exposed and grew up into it. So its more common than you think. I know in school most of us did. I say leave it be, (unless hes doing it for 4++ hours a day). I would advise him to get virus software, they can destroy computers.

January 31, 2010 at 1:08 am
(59) Mark J says:

It angers me how many are saying porn is okay. When I was a teen, I had a serious problem. Some have said you can’t be adicted, but you can! The “high” you feel when watching porn is an endorphin released by your body; it wants more of this feeling, so you watch more porn. I had to go to counseling for a while–it WAS an addiction. Without God and my family I wouldn’t have overcome it. I always wanted to stop but no matter what I couldnt

February 12, 2010 at 1:24 am
(60) king says:

ok guys over 100% of boys under the age of 18 masturbate over 80% of girls do to. Its normal unlesss its a problem and effects studies, makes your child angry or he spends excessive amount of time thne you have nothing to worry about. Most of them grow out of looking at porn when they get a girlfriend or boyfriend. Kids need space to experiment as long as there is a line they don’t cross let them step a few toes over it.

February 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm
(61) JJ says:

I look at porn all the time, I do well in school. I do very well with girls, and if you mothers think that your little girl are so proper, you should see the films that they bring over and the things that they want done to them! Looking at porn is nothing but a learning tool for young men. We live in a society, that likes to call itself conservative, no sexual content on TV or radio at all. Well, how do you expect us guys to feel confident and be able to approach women? The only reason why people feel this way about porn is because society tell them too. If sexuality was more of an everyday thing, as it is in every other developed nation, I promise you that internet porn would not be of any concern an many more marriages would end up secure instead of divorce!

February 19, 2010 at 11:40 am
(62) Ace D says:

Just wanted to respond to a comment by some dude named joe

“It openly tells you that anal sex, oral sex are safe and okay, and that women want to have semen in their mouths and love being a playtoy and being exploited — this is simply not true!! ”

That is pure ignorance. Plenty of girls like oral, like to swallow, enjoy being talked down to, and enjoy anal.

And to stay on topic with the original question, I think the mom should seek some professional help, since i think the circumstances of porn use vary from individual to individual and I could see it as a possible constructive thing.

March 5, 2010 at 1:15 am
(63) John S. says:

Look… im 34 and male. And i am trying to look at this as though i was his age at one point. Cause i was. He watches porn. Big deal. Like you’ve never watched any before.

He’s 18. When i was his age. my life revolved basically around three things. Friends, sex, and myself. In that order. and it’s not unnatural. it would be unnatural if he wasn’t thinking about sex. Does this mean you should sit down and have the sex talk. No. Why?

1. It’s humiliating and degrading. Yes,it happened to me. The dreaded sex talk. The discussion that neither party is eager to talk about unless among peers. It is uncomfortable and makes you feel wrong for looking at porn or thinking about it. (at least for the next few weks)

2. Flashbacks, at least for me, the for time i had sex with my girlfriend at age 17, the picture of my parents talking to me about such things came to me. Its an awkward feeling i will never forget.

3. Its o.k. to watch porn as long as it doesn’t damage a relationship or anything. He’s 18. let him do as he pleases.

It’s only natural that he look up porn. Porn has been there through out history. It came to me when i was 14. My dads magazines in the back of his closet. (not well hidden but he wasn’t the brightest man in the world). Then came the computer. look up whatever and it’s on your screen. Hell, i still look up porn now and again even though i’m married. Why? Because there is a near constant urge for sex. And i have a great sex life. Another thing you have to realize is, 18, probably not a virgin anymore. That’s right. Your son probably knows what it’s like already, so there really shouldn’t be any worry at all.

Also, i don’t suggest confronting him about it. He’ll begin to wonder about how you know he looks up porn and will eventually realize you were on HIS laptop snooping around HIS stuff and butting into HIS life. Causing the trust issues that you apparently seem to have with him. Because if you were wondering what h looks up on the internet and just invade his stuff, you should be ashamed. If you were just looking something up on his laptop ,because his was closer or your computer was busted or something, and a there was porn already there, or a pop-up, thats one thing. Invading his stuff on a whim though, thats just wrong.

Lastly, if you do confront him, he’ll probably be pissed. Punish him if you like. take his laptop away if NEED be, but you know what. The porn will still be there in his mind. Because i know before i ever looked at porn i was fantasizing about sex. The only difference between that and the computer is you get exactly what you want in your head.

That just about sums it up.

July 4, 2010 at 2:24 am
(64) contetanital says:

porn should be avoided

as a teacher at harvard for twenty two years now, though i may not see much in college, i have noticed that teens talk about pornography much more than should be discussed stop porno this instant

July 4, 2010 at 2:24 am
(65) contetanital says:

porn should be avoided

as a teacher at harvard for twenty two years now, though i may not see much in college, i have noticed that teens talk about pornography much more than should be discussed stop porno this instant

September 24, 2010 at 3:58 am
(66) facethefacts says:

I can understand where both parties are coming from. As i was an addicted teen with porn being the drug. But, as a mother of two, i can see where the parents’ view is on this one as well. Although, as a psychologist who works with addicted and troubled teens, i have a lot of insight.
Growing up, I had controlling parents so every chance i got to defy their authority, i took it faster than a Ferrari drives the Autobahn. But, being a mother, i know why she snooped. As a mother, i think we feel we have a right to be nosey. Although, in my conscience, i know i can sometimes go too far lol. We just want them to be safe and to do the right thing. Now, i know how i raised my kids… with good morals and intentions. But, they are their own persons with their own minds and their own freewill tends to take over… Agreed that religion shouldn’t be brought into this because then we would be playing a whole other ball game. But tests have been done and the facts are that when you watch porn, your body releases a natural drug in the brain called DOPAMINE. This can become just as addicting as cocaine, meth, etc. Now, starting so young (10-17) could lead them down a path of no return. It’s best to nip that in the bud immediately. But once we hit 18, although our brains aren’t fully developed till the age of 25, we are immensely set in our ways but can sometimes be manipulated without knowing it. Being addicted to porn i have found out what it does to us and was extremely hard to quite btw. True, that there is more testosterone in the male body than that in the female, but we can become quite addicted to it as well. (Trust me, i know) (continued)

September 24, 2010 at 3:59 am
(67) facethefacts says:

but seeing so many patients with this same addiction (males as well) i know what the outcome can be and what harm it can do and what it can actually help. Now i can’t tell you any case imparticular, as it is confidentiality between my patients and i. But generally speaking i can say this: It is addicting. And in several cases, it has lead to things such as car accidents because the dopamine can give off the need for speed. and in other cases it has lead to teens receiving STDs such as HIV, Aids, Herpes, Crabs, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, etc. because after watching porn they get the urge to have sexual intercourse with just about anyone, or anything for that matter. But, in some (RARE) cases, but usually with older gentlemen and/or women, it actually helped them get their urges out by themselves instead of going out and raping someone…. but again VERY rare.

September 24, 2010 at 4:00 am
(68) facethefacts says:

Now, i can’t exactly answer your question, being that you know your son better that i do and you know how you raised him. But i can tell you this, just something to think about, being that he is 18 and im guessing going to college, there are possibly and quite probable that there will be a lot more things much worse than porn he has access to. Instead of addressing the porn problem (which may not even be a problem) i would concentrate on maybe sitting him down and going over other things that would possibly do damage to his psyche and/or otherwise. Now, before anyone starts to address this comment with negative feedback, i would advise you to think about what would possibly happen if you didn’t talk to youre child before going out into the real world and facing something they were unprepared for. It’s important to talk to youre teens about this type of stuff. It’s best to get an early start (10-13) but its never to late to be cautious. 18 is a legal adult yes, but there ARE reasons why they still have restrictions such as- not being able to drink or go clubbing or gamble till the age of 21. For heaven sakes, the government doesnt even trust them yet. lol So, talk to you’re teens before it is too late. I know parents who wish they HAD listened.

October 15, 2010 at 4:46 pm
(69) NA says:

sex is a natural thing and for a 18 year old to be thinking of it is natural. and going on web pages is far healthy then having it at that age so i would let him have his privacy.

November 21, 2010 at 2:23 pm
(70) mecmifuvo says:

She seems so much for a girl, i cant believe virgin i finally to do.

January 29, 2011 at 10:24 am
(71) rkb says:

Ok I am a 22 year old male.
I watch porn.
It does not rule my life.
I have a healthy sexual life, yet I view porn occasionally.
I think it is ridiculous that the women are taking a stand against pornography. Yes, it is demeaning and degrading to women, but rather than micromanage your 18 year old child, go and take a stand on capital hill ok! Your adult child is viewing porn, it’s not a big deal. It is something every guy (not sure about girls) goes through, sometimes we just need to wack off. Seriously your kid has probably had sex, gay or straight sex. As long as it doesn’t rule your child’s life or touch their money. Your child is not going to become a rapist or a bad person, don’t worry. They just want to masturbate and porn is just a tool to help them with that.

As long as it doesn’t become an addictive and destructive habit, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Don’t give me that, ‘porn is destructive’ crap. It’s sex, you made your kid through having sex. Plus you probably don’t want to tell your child that, so why the heck would he or she tell you about their sex life? keyword… probably.

do not make your child sound like an addict.
do not make your child feel like they are inferior.
do not make your child feel like they are a bad person.
Do let your child realize, they are normal.
Do let your child learn that they need to use their time wisely.
Do let your child realize, you used to be the same way.

February 19, 2011 at 4:13 pm
(72) tyltyl says:

omg giv him some fn privacy man lookin at his history is like lookin at his dick wat a idiot

February 23, 2011 at 1:32 am
(73) Opinionated Female says:

I read the comments as far as “all the men say it’s okay, where all the girls say it’s bad”. I stopped there to offer my insights.

Let’s look at the solid facts:
-he is 18. Every porn site I have visited has stated this is the minimum age requirement (local jurisdictions are subject to overrule this however)

-he’s a GUY. Men of all ages show a sense of “needing to do the business”. Even toddlers will rub their sheets against themselves because it feels good.

-He’s considered an adult in the USA and Canada. So if you live in either country, he has the right to be his own person.

Now we’ve addressed the facts. Now let’s go into opinion. Chances are if he’s an 18 year old young man in college he’s already had sex! So what difference does it make if he looks at porn? If he’s still a virgin, curiosity about what he has yet to experience in life is normal.

This is where solid parenting comes into play. If he grew up in the right environment and taught solid morals, he’ll know how to treat women and follow your set of morals. You must give him the opportunity to SHOW he was listening for the past 18 years!

If it becomes a concern to the point where you’re constantly checking or wondering, address it to him. Bring up the “talk” all over again but revise it to include the topic. And then let it alone.

Yes, I respect it is your house, but with horny men, where there is a will, there is a way.

May 13, 2011 at 9:36 pm
(74) Concerned about the mother's sanity says:

I’m an 18 year old MALE. To the original poster, Fact is, your son has been looking at porn for quite some time now and that does not mean he is addicted, it simply means that he has been curious and collecting information on sexual experiences that he will use later on in life. To the people saying that pornography is addicting or makes serial killers out of us. That is a lie, I am more addicted to chew, energy drinks, making money and driving fast than I am to porn. The problem with serial killers is that they are messed up in the head and cannot find sexual enjoyment through masturbation, sex with a partner, or porn. They or someone involved in their lives caused that. To the women saying porn is degrading to women or that it depicts disturbing sexual practices. Some of it is, I have seen porn (not intentionally looking for it) that depicts fecis fetishes, for example “2 women, 1 cup”, It made me sick to think that women could be so messed up (not saying that porn for women doesn’t depict men doing the same thing). There are FREE porn sites that have something for everyone. Most of the internet porn is user submitted, reviewed by the site administrators and includes a man and woman, simply making passionate love like NORMAL people. To those saying it’s your house don’t let him look at it, are you people going to tell your sons not to masturbate or don’t think of women naked? WE have looked forward to this for quite some time (being of age to view pornography) so let us do it. You don’t want our relationships to fail by our spouses finding out we watch porn so, to keep that from happening, let us watch it now. What you have seen as porn is just a little piece so you can’t base your complaint off of what you have seen. There are many sites where you can see couples having sex and even just a single girl masturbating, we are interested in women and as long as your sons aren’t looking at gay porn, be proud that you have raised a NORMAL son.

June 30, 2011 at 5:35 am
(75) Michael Delonte says:

You guys are very blind a teen will watch porn even if he is allowed to or not he’s 18 for god sakes he can make his own decision and you shouldn’t be worried about that matter there are better things to worry about and how many people in the world have watched porn and nothing’s happened to them I’m majoring in psychology and if you try to contrisct your children then it will all back fire wouldn’t you rather he watch porn then have unprotected sex with an unknown strangers

July 13, 2011 at 9:28 pm
(76) Teddy says:

What is with you!! You totally invaded his privacy. Would you like it if he went into YOUR room went over to YOUR bed, and then look at YOUR web history to see what YOU do in YOUR private time??? Think about it.

PS: If it’s in capitals, it means you have to say it loudly.
PSS: 95% of people watch porn, the other 5% lie

December 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm
(77) Elilslaurence says:

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December 24, 2011 at 11:34 am
(78) Dan says:

Honestly, it’s his computer, he’s 18, he should be able to use his computer how he wants to. Let him have his privacy.

March 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm
(79) J. says:

This may come as a shocker but… I’m 13 and I’ve been watching pornagraphic material for two and a half years now. Truth is in the modern day we can not avoid porn. It’s every were not always fully nude but more often or not it’s sexually arousing videos on tv or pictures on mothers Victorias Secrets. As I said I’ve been watching porn for a while I am not addicted and I’m a A plus student. Boys will be boys so let yours be one.

October 26, 2012 at 3:35 pm
(80) NATIONAL TALK SHOW says:

I am an editorial producer for a National Talk Show based in New York. We are working on a segment to educate the public at large about teenage addiction to pornography. We are looking for teenagers who want to get help so we can show them the way to recovery and help them. Porn addiction is growing rapidly and some people don’t even realize that porn can be addictive. If you, or someone you know, would like additional details about our show, please feel free to reach me at Christiembear@gmail.com

Thanks,
Christie Bear

January 1, 2013 at 7:57 pm
(81) David says:

Great advice Denise. I think it’s completely wrong for parents to make kids feel ashamed for being sexual creatures. It’s natural. Masturbation is natural. Wanting to see a naked body is natural. And people need to stop with this puritanical sexual shaming.

And the idea that looking at porn makes you a sex addict is ludicrous religious propaganda on the same level as saying gays are prone to child molestation, or that masturbation is dangerous and physically harmful.

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