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14-Year-Old Girl Wants to Date 18-Year-Old Boy

By February 26, 2010

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A mom on our forum seeks advice: "My 14 year old daughter met this boy (18 years old) through mutual friends. She is infatuated with him and says she loves him. He says he loves her too. She has told him there will be no sexual activity between them and she says he understands that??? My feeling is NO!NO!NO! I don't want he to date him or any (over her age) boy. Should I say NO and risk her sneaking around and doing it. How should I handle this? I am a single mom. Her father hardly has any time for her."

Advice from cstone360: "Your concerns on both sides are very valid. Perhaps a lesser of two evils, however undesirable, may be ideal. Instead of risking her running of and possibly getting pregnant, perhaps say she can see him but only when you're around - come over for dinner, studying, hanging out while you're there and visible at all times. Studying in a common room (living room, etc). if they wish to go to a movie or dinner - drive them and accompany them, never leaving them out of your sight. Undesirable but the lesser of two evils. He may grow wary of mom always being around and leave."

Denise's thoughts: I agree with cstone360. The mom could try and forbid it, but has no way of doing what she would need to do to enforce it. Allow the dating when you can chaperon. Keep lines of communication open with your daughter, talking to her often about sex, love, family values and teen pregnancy.

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Asking our parenting community: Do you agree, disagree or think it isn't any big deal? Please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the comments area.

Quick Links: Real Parenting Questions | Parenting Style Quiz | Teen Dating | Teen Dating Quiz: Are they friends or are they dating? | When should teens start dating? | Teen Breakups

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Comments
February 26, 2010 at 7:31 am
(1) Cara says:

It is so not a good idea!! An 18 year old boy/man and a 14 year old girl? What could they possibly have in common? He can drive/vote/enlist….keep her away. How does a 14 year old sneak around with an 18 year old? My daughter is 14, I know where she is and with who at all times. I have to drive her everywhere if she wants to hang out with friends, I either know the parents well or the kids are here.
As a parent, take hold of this situation. What will she be doing at 18?

October 5, 2010 at 5:06 pm
(2) Elle says:

Do not let her go out with an 18 year old. If she is gonna date an 18 year old then she has to be 18 years old as well!

February 26, 2010 at 8:03 am
(3) Beverley Sinton says:

My friend’s parents met when her mum was 14 and her dad was 17. They were happily married until my friend’s mum died. I think my friend’s mum had probably never had another boyfriend in her life. I have twin daughters who are 14 and I understand your worries but this may be true love. Certainly keep an eye on them, but please don’t forbid it. Best of luck to all 3 of you and I hope it works out well.

October 13, 2010 at 8:56 pm
(4) Anonomus says:

ya. i agree. i mean. im 14. so is my friend and shes dating an 18 year old. trust me its love. it all depends on the person. and i get a mothers concern, idk how, but i do. usually i would slap my friend silly if she did that, but i can just tell its true love between these two!

February 26, 2010 at 8:13 am
(5) Lisa says:

ABSOLUTELY NOT! single mom of 15 yr old here. I have all the same issues as you. My daughter is/was dating a 16 yr old. I let them go to the movies dropping and picking them up, I let him visit her at my home. She will be 16 in April and theres no way I would allow her to date a 18 yr old. Sheesh, I think thats against the law. If my daughter tried to sneak, I threatened and would have followed thru with juvie court. Unless you want a pregnant 14 yr old, DO NOT ALLOW THIS AND SEND HER OFF IF YOU HAVE 2. SHE WILL THANK YOU DOWN THE ROAD. GOOD LUCK

February 26, 2010 at 9:17 am
(6) Ajay Kumar says:

NO Way, should you let your daughter go out alone with the elder boy. If at all she must then please accompany her. After a couple of times the boy will get the message and leave her alone. The one danger is that they might meet secretly. However the trust that you have in your daughter and her own sense of responsibility might just prevent her from doing that. Try talking to her about going out with her same age group friends.

September 2, 2010 at 9:40 am
(7) stephen says:

i am 18 and dating a 14 yr old girl i talked to my teacher about it and she said as long as the girls mom knows and i made sure she told her mom im a 18 i see how it could be a problem but all i need to do is watch what i do and say

February 26, 2010 at 9:36 am
(8) Kittilicious says:

Been there done that… as in, I was the 14 year old girl. I’m also a mom of a 13 & 15 year old now. My parents didn’t let me date him, but I did anyway. We would meet before school (I walked to school, he drove… he picked me out just out of sight of my house). We dated for over 2 years… a year of that was after he graduated and went off to the Air Force. My parents thought they were keeping us apart, but we just didn’t tell them.

Honesty is best – she’ll find a way to see him. Maybe he’s a nice guy, you never know.

Oh.. and we never had sex. It’s not always a guarantee that your daughter will just because she’s seeing someone.

February 26, 2010 at 9:49 am
(9) Falicia says:

As a mother of 3 teens myself, we had a strict rule of dating /hangingout age limit of one one grade up, your grade our one grade down. It worked great with the first 2 ( daughters). We thought we were such smart parents, we were going to avoit this problem. HA! Enter our youngest, when he was 14 he ad a 17 yr old girlfriend. we said “no” he said, “ok” but they met anyway. He’s 16 now and always has 18-29yr olds around him flirting and asking him out. Even in front of us. He always thinks he’s in love. I have sympathyies (sp?) for you. It’s not just the girls. What are these young adults thinking, is it now cool to date younger teens? On the other hand , there are a lot of people worried about this girl getting preg by this 18yr old…she could get preg just as easy by a 15 or 16 yr old boy. I wonder how they connect on an emotional level? good luck and I’ll be reading all the comments for advice also.

February 26, 2010 at 10:40 am
(10) dmex says:

For me it is really interesting reading your info. I was brought up in Mexico, and here girls would not dream of going out with boys their own age. Girls mature so much faster than boys. The boys I went out with (mind you I am now 65) were at least 3 years older.

I think that forbidding the girls to go out with the 18 year old, especially when she has the communication channels open, is a big mistake. I believe that trust breeds trust and it is harder for a girl to do something “wrong or bad” when the parents trust her not to, than when it is something forbidden. Teach her how to take care of herself, and to think for herself. The risk of having sex is always there, but if she knows how to take care of herself, the risk is minor.

February 26, 2010 at 11:03 am
(11) Ruth says:

I totally agree with Lisa, I am amazed how our society’s “Standards of Decency” continues to plummet and our kids are taking FULL ADVANTAGE of it. The 18 yr old is an adult, by law! Here is my question , are you saying that it is okay for this child to date an ADULT? Let us parents not be so naive, you know full well that it is a matter of time before the ADULT 18 yr old WILL be having sex with the 14 yr old child. Enough said.

February 26, 2010 at 11:22 am
(12) mmom says:

There is no right or wrong answer for you. At least she is honest with you. When my daughter was that age, I had no idea she even had a bf. She would meet at the bus stop and sneak out at night. When she did finally get caught, we were ready to call the cops. They were caught one more time and I involved his mom. They finally stopped because I was ready to follow through. My dd did realize being with a hs dropout and a drug user was not want she wanted. On the other hand My mom was 15 and my dad was 19 when they met and 62 years later are still happily married.

One piece of advice I do have for her is to be on the same page with your husband. If you are not, it will send mixed signals and she will do what she feels any ways. Also stay close to your enemies.

February 26, 2010 at 12:17 pm
(13) Lisa says:

I would tend to agree that it is probably not a good idea. However, as a 42 year old mom with two preteens, I have to admitt that my husband and I (now married 16 1/2 years) met in study hall when I was 14 and he was 18. We dated off and on for 12 years before marrying. I was not allowed to get in the car with him until I was 15 and I had to meet him at his high school prom. Our time together was generally supervised until I was nearly 16. My mother was a single parent who strongly discouraged this relationship and wanted me to date other boys instead of settling on the first one that came along. What she didn’t realize is that the “other boys” were not half of the person that my husband was and I am lucky I didn’t get into more trouble that I did. I nearly lost the best thing that ever happened to me because of our age gap at that time. A most unusual story, for sure, but obviously not impossible! I would say keep an open mind but be very cautious.

February 26, 2010 at 12:42 pm
(14) beckie merrill says:

Do not let her date him no matter what. I did with my 14 yr old daughter last year with an 18 yr old boy and the State came after me for it. The State said I was neglecting her adn mistreating her because I was putting her in harms way. So please dont let her date him.

February 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm
(15) yasmin says:

14 years too young to date but u need to talk to your daughter . Be friendly understanding with her . Show her that you respect her opinion .So she will be frank and she will not do something behind you at least she will consider you as a friend .put in her mind that she is too young she has enough time and chance to know life better . Try to convince her that take this boy as a friend no more nd you will descover that it is not the right time to have a love relationship . be their friends don’t totally reject him she is adolescent nd she may do anything to show u that she is a grown up

February 26, 2010 at 2:22 pm
(16) Liliswen says:

I totally agree with cstone360. My 16 year old wanted to date an 18 year old who was already out of high school. Her father and I set down ground rules and boundries. After about 3 weeks, she actually broke off the relationship. We felt it was better to allow it under our rules. I knew I couldn’t change the way she felt, so I thought it would be better for her to decide on her own. For us, it worked out well.

February 26, 2010 at 4:06 pm
(17) Messed up says:

This very thing happened with our family. It was a disaster. We tried to compromise and chaperone, etc. Bottom line, they still snuck around even after making all the promises. Luckily she ended it. But as someone else said – that is TOO much of an age difference, and the 18 yr old, although they can say what they want, they are after one thing. And the 14 yr old is too vulnerable. We as parents need to protect our teens. We learned a valuable lesson, and hindsight, we wouldn’t have allowed it all all – chaperoned or not.

February 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm
(18) Kathy says:

I would discourage it as much as possible, even if that means explaining to the 18 year old involved that any physical contact whatsoever could in fact be a violation of the law. I had to explain this to one guy already related to my 14 year old daughter and that ended things immediately. Your daughter should be seeking friends closer to her own age.

February 26, 2010 at 9:11 pm
(19) K.C in Jax,Fl. says:

Tell hubby about your concerns and ask him to make time for her. And at the very least find out what this young man’s got on his mind!! Then remind him that if there is any hanky panky there are laws that can be enacted..

February 27, 2010 at 5:02 am
(20) GeorgiaMom says:

In many states, such as mine an 18 year old and a 14 year old is playing with fire. Any sexual contact is consider statutory and comes with some serious prison time and a lifetime on the sexual offender regristry. I would explain this fact to both. I would also suggest talking to the parents of the 18 year old. I imagine they may also see the concern for the age difference. It is extremely rare that true love will develop but there is time if it does. Like when she is 18 and he is 22. He’s legally an adult where she isn’t. I’d try to strongly discourage any relationship but if it appears that she’ll sneak around put in some major boundaries. Never give them an opportunity to get alone.

February 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm
(21) Stephanie says:

My 17 yr old daughter is facing issues with this situation, her now ex- boyfriend wants to “be friends” until she 18 to avoid any risks of ruining his future. The law is clear, maybe the boy in this case doesn’t understand the potentilal risk and heartasche invloved. I cry for my daughter who hurts for her loss, they spent 1 1/2 yrs dating, supervised and unsupervised…I let them earn my trust together..it was easy to see when they had enough time together. You just be the MOM and lay out the facts, possible outcomes (with both of them together) let them know they have some serious risks and maybe waiting to date years latger would help them stay focused on their future and keep him out of jail. I understand why my daughters boyfriend did what he did, but it still hurts everyone, everyone in the famuly gets attached to this young fun couple and who knew hen it ended I would cry, not just for her but for all of us. gGetting to know him was a great choice, he talks openingly to me and I can always see things before they come with two and I learned the hard way to just let it happen don’t say or warn her because they do not HEAR you, just like us they have to face this part of their life all alone. I was sure me telling them both “NO SEX” would work, my gut didn’t agree so I talked with my daughter and asked her to get on the pill, she said it was a good idea and my heart ached…..They don’t listen when the hormones take over don’t be blind…if he is 18 he’s not a virgin and you know the potato chip saying….so take her the doctor right ways…sorry but it’s just one of the many outcomes this situation brings to the table. My daughter is excited the will resume dating in the future…again I just hold her offer her my love and pray I learn to just listen….

February 28, 2010 at 7:29 pm
(22) Cath_tink says:

Hi!
Im a 14 year old girl and I am more mature than your average 14 year old.Had a mental age test done,and im 18 mentally.But I think the reason why we go for older guys is because our age are so imature compared to us.Plus if you tell your daughter not to date him and to not have sex,they are automatically going to want to do that because you said dont.Also it is not illegal unless the two people do have sex.They are allowed to date but if they sexualy do anything than the cops will be after him/her and most likely the parents.I even heard from my friends mother who is a cop that they wont get into that much trouble.When your are 16 your legal to do it with him anyways.This is the 21st centurary and things are changing,deal with it.

March 1, 2010 at 12:25 am
(23) steph says:

Good luck mom….I have a daughter too. But I was 14 dating an 18 year old guy. At first my parents were watching us like hawks and it worked until we broke up. When we started to get back together my mother forbid it. We dated on and off for 3 years after that. I was the good kid –all A’s, didn”t sneak out, rarely lied about anything– except this. I promise you my parents almost always knew where I was and who I was with — or so they thought. I did a lot more sneeking around than I would have if my parents would have allowed it (allow=some control). He really was a great guy and I never did like dating guys near my age until the boys finally matured. Not the best situation but hope this helps.

March 4, 2010 at 6:50 pm
(24) Alyssa says:

My sweetie is 14 and im 24 wow one day she had a boyufriend that was 15 she said but he said im 18 and HE HAD SEX WITH HER SEH GOT PREGENET AND NO SHE IS 16 WITH A 4 YEAR OLD .i dont like her now i cant smake her but i dont feel like that i feel he is a god mother.

March 10, 2010 at 12:44 pm
(25) Trishaa says:

hey. um iam a 16 year old qirl. mah boyfriend is 20 bout to be 21. && ihave had alot of boyfriends that are older then me some people say what do older men want in younq woman. mam its not wat they want it not what they have its who they are. some people are more mature then others. && some older people are immature. so dont make them brake up. you will reqret it my daddy just made meh stop dating mah boyfriend of 2 years imet him wen i iwas 15 && he was 19. && iam deeply inlove wit him but mah dad made us break up after 2 years now me && mah dad DO NOT TALK NOMORE ! IHATE HIM. so let her be. please its for your dauqhter !

March 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm
(26) thesweetnsinfull says:

hi,
im 14 and there is no posible way to stop someone my age from seeing a older boy/man, we sneak out n do as we like get used to it, age is just the number of years you have been on the plant and we shouldnt be limited to whom we can love by that.

March 25, 2010 at 10:53 am
(27) Cory says:

I have read this information because I am seeking advice, I am a 18 year old and am currently dating a 13 soon to be 14 year old girl, alot of people have said it is wrong and against the law and others have said it is ok, we have been together over 5 months now and we love each other, everyone thinks its all about sex but the idea had never even crossed our minds, we have had nights in and watched dvds but have never thought about any sexual activity, we are both really happy together but it is getting very stressful for me that there is people threatening me about it, I will not leave her for anything but need to know why it is so wrong when there is no sexual activity involved !!

March 29, 2010 at 4:03 pm
(28) Stephanie says:

I believe it is okay.
My daughter is fourteen, She’s Been with her boyfriend who is eighteen for a little over a year now,
She is very responsible, and she’s in love.
If they break up, it’s going to be on their terms,
Not mine or anyone else’s. They have not had sex.
My daughter understands that she is not ready for that, and she also understands the state could press charges against him. She would never put her faults on someone else’s slate. I don’t see a problem. Of course under the certain circumstances of maturity, responsibility, and understanding. There are many people out there with way more years between them. You can’t control who you fall in love with, and you can’t control the age either, i met the love of my life when i was 12, we have been together since. It’s possible.

March 30, 2010 at 3:23 pm
(29) jessica says:

To all you mothers out there, just because the boy is older doesn’t nessessarily mean sex will be involved. And if you think it will, just precation your daughter, incourage her in safe sex or no sex! She can obviously go off and get pregnant with any boy she wanted to. It doesn’t matter if he’s 18 or 14. All a girl wants is someone to h ave to call as her own, someone to hang out with, someone to love. Nobody WANTS to be pregnant or to get their girlfriend pregnant under the age of 21. It’s ignorance. Just remember that everyone makes mistakes and that true love can happen anywhere. It’s all about communication and trust.

April 1, 2010 at 6:42 pm
(30) glenn says:

i am 17 and my girl friend is 14 we been going out for about 3 months and we like beening together but everyone thinks it is about sex but it no we thought about it but we now that we can get in trouble if we did and i can go to juvie and she dont want me to go there she loves me and i love her we both have a great time when we are together

April 5, 2010 at 2:59 pm
(31) gayl says:

let them, when i was 14 i was dating an 18 year old boy, and as soon as i told him i wasny redyy he stayed with me and didn’t pressure me into anything atall !

April 7, 2010 at 8:16 pm
(32) amazed says:

I am just amazed at some of the comments here! Especially the one about how our societal values continue to plummet! What narrow minded, uninformed people.
Not more than 100 yrs ago it was ‘normal’ for young girls to be married and working at 14/16. Yet about 50 yrs ago we invented the concept of teenagers and we seem intent on stopping our kids from growing up. Childhood is a precious time when we need to protect and nurture our kids. Once our kids start to think for themselves and bouncing against their parental boundaries, its time to start training them to be adults. Not so long ago once once you were 13/14 you were a young adult and were expected to behave differently. Our biological imperative when we hit puberty is to get pregnant and populate the species. You are trying to fight thousands of years of evolution, if you think you can ban your kids from dating the person they want to. Far better to create a positive self awareness where they will choose an appropriate partner, time to have sex in an informed and safe way, and do it under their terms. For all the parents who maintain they have or will control their kids, bravo sleep soundly in your fantasy. I can guarantee you do not. The more restrictive and unreasonable you sound, the more your kids will reject your opinion as being of no value.
TRUST is the only thing that will foster an open and responsible communication with your children. At the end of the day they will spend a long time as and adult and very short periods learning to be one. Don’t screw up the rest of their lives by making them feel ashamed, and secretive about sex and relationships. Set boundaries and consequences, but be prepared for kids to screw up thats how they learn.

April 8, 2010 at 3:00 am
(33) shiki says:

i was 14 when i was with my boyfriend and he’s 20. he totally understands me and we really never did think of doing something sexual together. we’ve been togerher for 4 years now and still currently dating. i still didn’t my parents. anyways do what you think is right for your daughter. think it through carefully.

April 9, 2010 at 3:58 am
(34) John says:

Wow, how can a girl of 14 years old wants to date with a boy of 18 years old? She shouldn’t date with him…

April 13, 2010 at 7:17 pm
(35) Jason says:

I am 19 and I’m dating a girl who is 15 and shes extremely mature and i love everything about her. I don’t see much wrong with it. We aren’t having intercourse. Somehow, it’s not acceptable in society and it bugs me.

April 29, 2010 at 9:01 am
(36) Liam says:

I am 18 i’m currently seeing 14 year old girl we really get on we connect been seeing eachother for about five weeks. we have not had intercourse yet because of me as i am prepared to wait. i have abit of a story to tell hear it goes…..me and my good friend went down to my girlfriends because her cousin was their and wanted to meet my friend we all were having a great night having a few drinks me and her went in her room kissing and watching a movie my friend who is 18 and was having sex with her cousin in the other room we heard a car pull up out side my friend ran into the room fully naked saying your mams back theirs me with my top off she had her dressing gown on her mam walked in boom i understand what she saw and the way it looked it looked wrong and i don’t blame her for the way she reacted as every mother should we didn’t have time to explain as we have no proof just witnesess her mam told her stepdad we really didn’t know what to do i didn’t want to run away from this as the only thing i’ve done wrong as go in her room and bought drink few weeks later my mate turned 18 didn’t have any ID to go clubbing with me and a load of us so he went down the local her stepdad came in drunk beat him up!, i felt horrible as it was my fault i should of been their for him i should of took the beating after a wiel i was still seeing her but we had to sneak around to see each other as i didn’t agree with as i’m loseing her mams and stepdads trust even more as i was told to stay away couple of weeks later her stepdad saw me pulled up in his car with a baseball bat ran up to me headbutted me twice and kicked me i was full of rage and people were worried about me didn’t want me to do something stupid. thats pretty much the story i’ve never been in a more difficult situation than this as i really care about her and i don’t want to break her heart :( please could you give me some advice?

May 4, 2010 at 8:25 pm
(37) fmv says:

I am a 14 year old girl I’m pretty tall nd mature for my age I look 15-17 I’m falling in love with this 18 year old I don’t think the age is a problem anymore you things change – my friend is 15 talking to a 24 year old I think that’s nuts! Where as 14 and 18 isn’t that big of a diffrence we both know what could haPpen with the law we don’t go out or anything we just talking – but if anything no there isn’t anything wrong let her go out with him- my mom was totally understanding which makes me feel responsible also I know all the consequences that can turn up but so far its all good:)

May 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm
(38) Taylor202 says:

hi, im a 15 year old girl and is madly in love with an 18 year old, him and i have known eachother for a few months. i told my mother and father about him and i dating and they demanded me to brake it off. months later we are great friends but we still love eachother. i am mature for my age i know many young human beings on here are saying that, so please, believe them. i am an honor student at my high school and my wish to be is not as smart shall i say. mothers that are single of father that have this probably with an younger or older daughter/son should be friendly and talk things out. rather then be like my parents. my wish to be and i have tried to date others. when him and i broke up we sneaked around but sense my school is small we had to break it off. people at my little town know everything. parnets need to know their own children and what they like. please do understand that we might look and are young, but we do have a brain. and we use it. in a mature way or imature way. you cant take what us (young teens and old teens) have in our hearts, we (teens) can push it back in our hearts, but its always there. forever. remember that, parents. you need to know your own children, and you need to understand.

May 11, 2010 at 5:44 pm
(39) THEREALANSWER says:

Seriosly i dont understand what is wrong with you people guys have to be older then girls at like 1 to 3 years and im 18 years old guy but i would never date any girl who’s older then me thats the way it should be guys should be older then girls to date or marry! – of course not by a lot

May 14, 2010 at 4:23 am
(40) Jack says:

im an 18 year old boy and i look about 12, no exaggeration, a 14 year old girl would look to old for me =D

May 20, 2010 at 10:36 am
(41) concerned mother says:

From the beginning I have forbidden my daughter to be contact with a guy who found out her name and looked her up on the internet thru chats. He saw her once and found out her last name. She has been sneaking around for a few months and I just found out they are having sex she is 15 and he is 18. He isn’t even in school. What would he want with my daughter besides sex. I’m am so upset and he is going to be charged. I have always had an open relationship with my children and now we have lost all trust for her. Not sure what is going to happen in the future. Very concerned for her and our family. We are all now suffering.

May 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm
(42) Stacie says:

I think u should trust her and belive she will be good and if u tought her right she will be good and u should trust her but u also should keep and eye on him:).

May 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm
(43) Anonymous says:

Lol, if you offer to chaperon, the most likely response, especially from the 18 year old, would be no. That would work if they weren’t in their teens, but even your 14 year old would most likely disagree with such a proposal. It’s best to lay all the cards out on the table, and make it clear that at most he can be friends with your daughter (Of course, you should explain to her why you don’t want her dating someone that much older than him, an 18 year old no less). You can’t guarantee that they’ll behave, even if you’re as diplomatic as letting them be together via dinner at home; Trust me, not all teenagers are rebellious and disobedient, and just because they become a teenager, doesn’t mean you suddenly can’t ground them or have them face consequences for their actions.

May 22, 2010 at 2:19 pm
(44) Anonymous says: says:

I’m an 18 that is currently dating a 16 year old and i truly love her. i think that if your daughter and the 18 yr old love each other then why should you break there hearts???? Who said god really cares how old you are?? All that matters is that your in love. And i hate the fact that every1 says guys only think about sex. Well you know what not all guys do that, I truly love my girl and if your daughter and her bf love each other then you should leave it alone, but feel free 2 make some rules.

May 29, 2010 at 6:46 am
(45) anon says:

honestly, i don’t think there is anything wrong with it, but i can understand your concern. when i was 14, i dated an 18 year old. just because he’s 18 doesn’t make him some sort of paedofile, because he could get sex anywhere else easily. it’s only a 4 year age-gap. imagine a 40 year-old woman dating a 44 year-old man. nothing seems wrong with that, does it?

June 4, 2010 at 2:01 pm
(46) goodmother says:

some of these comments are completely ridiculous….talking about how naive we are as parents to let aa 14 year date an 18 year old. Whats naive is to be so ignorant to think that forbidding them to do something is going to work. Seriously i was a good child who never smoked and never drank. My parents raised me well and taught me good values, and the most important thing is they never forbid me to do anything they talked to me about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc…..and just hoped they taught me well enough. I have an ex husband now who runs a dictatorship at his house which suprisingly is how a lot of you see fit to run your house as well. FUnny thing is I would love to talk to some of your grown up kids now and see how many of them snuck around behind your back because you were too ignorant to believe that they would defy you. Ill bet over 50% of them have some nice stories tha

June 5, 2010 at 12:52 am
(47) Nick says:

Listen, I’m 18 years old now. I’m a boy, obviously. And I’m quite stuck on this girl, she’s 15… turning 16 in October. I can’t help the way I feel. I also know that I would never ever ever ever dream of doing anything with her sexually or anything like that. She’s much too young. Both of her parents like me, and don’t see any problem with us being together. I think you need to give this guy a chance. Get to know him first. If he’s the honest and responsible guy you’d want your little girl with, then he shouldn’t have any objection to that. While I think 14 is just a step too far for any 18 year old guy, I understand his situation. I love and respect the girl I’m ‘with’ (quotes because, long story short, she’s 15 and can’t make up her mind about me), and treat her well. Give the guy a chance, but on your terms. If he ‘loves’ her, he’ll allow that no problem. Hope I helped.

June 5, 2010 at 12:14 pm
(48) Chloe says:

I am a 14 year old girl and I am dating an 18 year old guy. I have been doing so for nearly a year now. I have been told that I am very mature for my age, and I agree. My parents have met and spoke to my boyfriend on more than one occasion and they like him. Maybe you should talk to the guy and judge for yourself whether he is suitable. My boyfriend and I have not engaged in intercourse and I told him, within the first month that I wanted to wait. He was fine with that and treats me with so much respect. We have alot in common and he is respectful to my parents all the time. We only ever go out during the day, and if we do go out at night, we are with his mom and dad or my mom and dad. Give the guy a chance, he could be a great guy (:

June 8, 2010 at 11:56 am
(49) meheraj says:

hi my name is meheraj uddin i am 13 years old i am looking for a girl to date

June 8, 2010 at 12:42 pm
(50) Emma Louise Hunt says:

I’m a 15 year old girl &+ in love with an 18 year old boy. My parents havent found out yet but we’ve just started dating. Don’t be with her 24/7 because that shows you don’t trust her. Let her see him but not go in an empty house with him. Let her go out on dates with him…Im sure you wouldnt want your mother with you all the time! Show her you trust her because it will make her grow up more. x

June 11, 2010 at 1:32 pm
(51) presence722 says:

i am 14 yrs old and a girl and i went out with a 18 yr old and nothing bad happened. for it to work you have to trust your daughter and believe her that she grown up to be sensible and responsible i think you shouls allow it but like meet him first and check him out . hope this is usefull from
presence722

June 13, 2010 at 3:22 am
(52) page says:

I am 14 years old. I am currently liking a 19 year old, and he likes me. he is very christian as well as I. Plus I am Not a very sexual person. I am shy.My mom says no dating for us because he is an adult and i am still a child and we would all be in big trouble if we ever got caught dating.But I agree with one of the moms. Don’t always think that just because he is older than her that he is going to take advantage of her and just use her for sex.because its not always true. if you have a good relationship with your daughter (like my mom and i) and you talk good values into her head then she will respect your opinion and not date him if you say no.On the other hand if you and your daughter argue all the time and she never listens to you then she will just ignore you and date him anyways and she will be pregnant in no time. my mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me and my dad was 18.they didnt last long because my dad didnt have his priorities in line and he wasnt ready for a baby. just try talking about sex and pregnancy with her and try to scare her about having sex so soon. i know it might sound mean but if she gets scared then she wont have sex. I have also heard some parents tell there teens that if they absolutley need sex then they should just masterbate. i dont agree but i dont disagree. i dont really know what to think of that. if you ask me i think masterbating is kinda gross. as well as sex.

June 13, 2010 at 3:30 am
(53) page says:

I also Agree With The maturity level thingie.
Most girls date guys 3to4 years older because of their maturity.if she is 14 then all the guys her age are still imature.most older guys do respect the decision that girls make if they decide to wait.Like i said i am 14 with a 19 year old. my mom does not agree. so were are def. waiting on dating,kissing,etc.

June 23, 2010 at 9:02 am
(54) mona says:

she is too young to date, period. i did not let my daughter date until 16 years old-14 way too young and then the guy way to old for her anyway–you are in control not her-she will be angry but in the long run best for her–this guy should know better anyway come on-she is a baby!!!!! jeez find someone his own age-how did she meet him anyway????

June 28, 2010 at 5:39 am
(55) Larry says:

well hello there i am currently 17 and i will be 18 in less than a month sadly and my girl friend is 14 right now i find it sad once your 18 and u wanna date younger than 18 ppl frown upon u i see no problem with about 4 years younger but anymore is by me even a lil to much and yes my mom is preventing me from seeing my girl now and im not 18 yet but sadly i asked y and she said i dont want u in trouble and i said i wont and heres the other thing gain trust in the boy and sit with him tell him ur trusting him and tell him not to ruin it and another thing not all boys are the same ya know some arent even into the whole “sex” thing some wanna actually date ok now i have to figure out a way to continue seeing my girl friend since i will probably be frown upon by society for being 18 and an “adult” which just cuz ur 18 doesnt mean ur in the mind set of an adult think bout that now lastly her mom approves of me so it should be ok and also we like each other to much for me to try to ruin sumthing too good and again think bout it its not that bad talk with the boy i mean come on if it dont help then it cant hurt now can it? so have fun again bye now ^_^

June 28, 2010 at 6:09 am
(56) caris says:

i think you should allow it, i don’t see the problem

June 29, 2010 at 8:50 pm
(57) joanne says:

im in the same situation with my 14 year old daughter, and ive tried everything to get rid of him but the more i try the more i push them together. i have got myself so stressed out over it and im at my wits end. she bunks off school to see him and constantly lies to me and has changed so much since she met him. she was never an angel but i trusted her, he plays mind games with her all the time and always makes me out to be the bad one and has got it into her head that i dont care about her happyness.

he gets involed in things that dosent concern him with the most recent, he booked her a doctors appointment behind my back and then for that day she bunked off school all day, i only found out when i picked her jacket up and the tablets fell out. i was livid and she didnt understand why i was so angry, her excuse was she needed hayfever tablets. i never go to the doctors for these and she knows that as i always get them over the counter when needed and if she asked for them i would have just bought them. but my fear was if he can get her to go to the docs behind my back for stuff she dont need to be going for what else can he do!

i cant believe the trouble and change this 1 lad has caused within my family and i hope that you dont have to go through what we are as a family right now. ive had many people tell me to leave it and it will die out, but my fear is by then it will be to late.

he isnt a decent lad and the list of wrongs is never ending……. good luck and sadly i cant realy advise you as im in no situation myself to give good advice as ive tried and failed:-(

July 5, 2010 at 12:09 pm
(58) locke says:

So, I’m 19 going to be 20 in october and I’m currently involved with a girl who is 14. Both our parents don’t mind and we’ve known each other for over 6 years now. I don’t know why everybody is so concerned over just a few years difference when my last gf’s parents where 15 years apart and they’ve been married for 20 years. Age is just a number we made up to control people

July 6, 2010 at 2:03 am
(59) lanco says:

I would NOT allow it. My daughter is 16 and wants to date an 18 year old guy. I’ve told her that until she reaches 18, she will have to stick to guys who are the same age. Once she reaches 18, she is free to date older guys if she’d like.

The problem is that she graduated from High school early (16yrs), and most of her friends/classmates are 18 (i.e the guy she want to date was in her graduating class). I do feel bad about that.

As we get older, age differences have less relevance, but anything under 18 has a huge importance.

July 13, 2010 at 7:40 pm
(60) hope227 says:

My friends daughter has fallen for this boy who is 19 and she is 14.. she is very mature for her age and she just doesnt like boys her age.
They get along great and seem like they are prefect for each other. Altho I think 19 would be the limit for me I dont see anything wrong with it.. and yes she is too young to have sex but just because a guy is older doesnt mean that is all he is out for. I know lots of boys her age that are already having sex and yeah that is what they are after so I really dont think a boys age has anything to do with that.
and the more you try to keep them apart the more they will want to be together . Just talking with her and being open is the most important thing.
I know back several years ago.. about 35-40 yrs ago it was nothing for a 14 yr to date a 20 year old.. get married and live happily ever after.

July 15, 2010 at 5:18 am
(61) Dannielle says:

I think that you should meet this boy and get to know him a bit, I’ve always gotten along much better with people older than me. I never got along well with boys my age as I found them childish, If this boy is a gentleman and you can trust your daughter with him then I say you should give them a chance to get to know each other better. Just make sure you’re daughter knows the difference between wrong and right, And I don’t agree with people saying that she will sneak out with him, cause it all depends on her. Trust her and give her a chance to choose who she trusts.

July 19, 2010 at 10:22 pm
(62) Saidie says:

My daughter is 14 and thinks she is in love with a 19 year old. She is going to be a sophmore and he is an adult. He has no one to answer to. He can make his own hours and do what he likes. He works part time but has no plans for his future. They met at school through a mutual friend and so
I did not realize his intent at first. I would have stopped this immediately. This is not the first time this has happened. The first time the guy was 19 and she was 13. He bought her a sex toy and I found the letter to go with it in her closet. The police got involved and he even yelled at them when they told him how inappropriate it was. Anyway…

With the new kid the gap was a little smaller so I decided to see if they would break it off themselves after awhile. I thought he would get tired of the rules for a 14 year old. No luck. he started to say things to turn her against me and indicate that he would take care of her, as if i weren’t already. He would text her constantly and she would cry if she could not text him back because he would get mad. She would cry alot. I finally decided to end it for them when i found an inappropriate garment in her closet.
The problem is, sometimes it is about sex and the sex is about control for him, selfish love for her. In my state, for them to have sex is a class C felony. This does not bother him as he sees himself as having no future. When I told him that his grandchildren would still be able to see him on the sex offender registry as I would prosecute, he did not care. I told him that even if I did consent, and I would never consent, the law would not and he would be prosecuted. They are a train about to wreck and only an adult would see it coming. That is why 14 year olds have parents and as a last resort, laws to protect them. They do not have the experience to know when they are headed for a disaster. (random but true:No one is born knowing that ice cream melts when heated. You learn this through experience.)
I truly believe she will not let go because it is Way too cool to have an older boyfriend. He will not let go because he needs to be in control of something because his life has no course. I feel bad for him because his family is not helping to steer him to success but letting him hang and flounder. They have also persecuted me for ending this rather than encourage him to do what is safe for him. ( I wonder how they would feel if my 20 year old son came to pick up their 13 year old for a date?) He has no self esteem but finds it in her admiration of him. It makes him finally feel valued. SAD. unfortunately, both have superficial needs that are being met that can have LIFE LONG and dire consequences to all. The fact that they cannot see this proves their immaturity and that he is not thinking as clearly as a 18-19 year old should. I am off tomorrow to file for the restraining order I promised him i would get if he contacted her again. Sad for him. I am not angry with him and mean him no harm but MUST protect my daughter even at his expense. Not to mention any unwanted pregnancy that could come of this. Can you imagine the life a child of a 14 year old would have? She can not even do her homework. There is no way she is ready for the consequences of sex. He may be. I don’t know. I don’t care. She is more important. Maybe when she is older he will still be interested but I think he will always want someone he can control. VERY posessive. He even gets mad when she is with me. This is very frustrating but no one said parenting was easy…

July 22, 2010 at 9:35 am
(63) Lorraine says:

I am that 14 year old girl, now 49 and the 19 year old man seeking my company back then was a predator, not a man of integrity. Mom, it is not dating,,,she is vulnerable, flattered by the attention, craving it, and he should be spending his time with girls closer to his own age, but he is not. He likes the yougner ones, and my dad should have told him he would call the police if he hung around me. You still can today. Age of consent is 16. We have a duty to protect our kids.

July 22, 2010 at 11:11 pm
(64) William says:

I am an 18 year old male. I am also studying Psychology at college and believe that every one of the comments expressed above have validity. It just so happens that my gf is 14. Her parents were not satisfied with the relationship initially, until I wanted to meet them. After meeting them, giving them an insight of who I am, how much I loved their daughter and discussing plans to avoid the many barriers/risks this relationship possessed, they then loved me. I acknowledged the fact that she is, despite her maturity, not an adult and still requires guidance from her parents and thence would follow any rules her parents set. After six months from then I am considered apart of their family.

The outcome of a relationship such as this depends on the social group. My gf and I are both very mature and intelligent. We have built trust with our parents and peers, intending to keep it.

If your daughter is “into” an older guy and you are unsure or do not see this as a good occurrence, please arrange to sit down with both, as I did.

July 27, 2010 at 5:45 am
(65) Danny says:

Get to know the guy first. You can’t judge him or what his intentions are based upon age alone, that’s ridiculous. I’m 17, and I’ve had a girlfriend who’s 13, but she acted like she was about my age (and looked my age, as a matter of fact). So try and be realistic.

August 4, 2010 at 10:03 am
(66) mizzpink2k10 says:

no thats not fair when i was 14 and i was with a 18 year old its no different than being with someone your own age if she loves him and he loves her then let them be together if you keep them apart they’ll sneek off and do something bad just to annoy you so let her make her own mistakes she’ll learn, but you have to remember age is only a number you cant separate them.

August 6, 2010 at 1:59 pm
(67) tanya says:

My daughter has taking a liking to a senior who just turned 17, she will be turing 15 soon and is a freshman. The problem is her dad is totally against it saying it is really wrong. They aren’t dating just really talking strongly to one another, and I am allowing this behind my husdands back, almost promoting it. Because I know they really like each other and I truly trust them. But her dad says he was 17 once and feels that nothing good will come of this. My daughter shares with me things they talk about and even at times lets me read their texts to one another which really enabled me to trust this boy. He says things, and I find out later that this is the way he really thinks (respectful). I am not sure if I should be on my husbands side or keep allowing them to talk. Because I know they will see each other at school, and this guys dad is a high school teacher and also the football coach so not too much can happen there. This boy also attends church faithfully, a church we too attend. My son whom is a sophmore is also friends with this guy. So eyes are everywhere!! Am I wrong for being their for my daughter? My husabnd won’t even hear my opion on this matter, he can’t believe I would even consider it. I am afraid if I go against this she will no longer open up to me. She is going into high school and I feel I need to trust her and hope that she won’t break my trust. Any comments?? Sorry my comment turned into questions. Concerned mother of a new high schooler…

August 17, 2010 at 2:53 am
(68) Mother of 2 says:

OMG – what is wrong with you Mothers??
18/14 – NO, NO NO is right.
The mother who asked said “She is infatuated with him and says she loves him”
Loves him??? She is 14 years old- a child.
As others have said, sex under age is illegal, and really you dont think an 18 y.o boy only wants this young girl for sex?? Please I have an 18 year old son, that’s ALL he wants from girls.
To the Mother who is encouraging her own daughter behind her Husbands back– SHAME on you. Parents need to present a united front . I hope your Husban catches on and puts a stop to you also acting like a 14 year old. WAKE UP

August 17, 2010 at 4:47 pm
(69) tanya says:

Mother of 2- this is the mother who is going behind my husbands back. And OUCH your comment hurt, but you are right. I have never before went behind my husbands back before on anything exspecially the kids. I guess I just felt that if I didn’t keep the communication open with my daughter she will do it anyway so I have been there thinking I was preventing her to make really bad choices. But actually I made it worse!!! UGH!! They have NEVER been alone nor will they ever be. I have never took them anyplace to meet I just let them talk when they are at the same place and see each other which my husband totally forbidded. And she isn’t allowed to text ANY boys and I did let her talk to him this way and gave her permission to talk to him on a land line, again not allowed to talk to boys on the phone. I feel extremely quilty for doing this to my husband but also afraid that if I don’t support my daughter she may do it anyway and then I won’t know what is going on. Because I can’t be at school, althougth the boys she likes dad teaches there. I really don’t know what to do. Mother of 2, my husband did find out and is not too happy. He is asking her to get rid of him. And I have decide I guess, I am going to stay out of it and hope she listens. I don’t know what else to do. I was once a teenager who thought I was in love and I didn’t give it up until I was ready, as a teenager you think you know what is best. UGH raising teens is so hard!!! My daughter has never took a liking in any boys until now she is an honor roll student, athlete, and very respectful girl. And that use to be all she worried about UGH!!! When did boys get in the picture? I am trying to do the right thing.

August 18, 2010 at 5:34 pm
(70) joseph says:

im a 17 year old guy and i dont even like a younger girl, but i have sympathy for the guy because none of the girls my age or even one year younger are nearly at my maturity level, they are more mature than i am, and bore me, and they want to have sex more than i do, exspecially in this town, any girl over 15 is a whore now adays, younger girls are more appeasing because they are at our maturity level and are easier for us to get along with, even though when i turn 18 a 14 yo would be out of the question, but most parents make it seem like all guys want sex, he could be a good guy, ive thought about sex, but since i like younger girls i would never put them in that position.

August 20, 2010 at 1:12 am
(71) SophiaPsychotic says:

Heyy Mommies umm yeah when I was 12 I dated a 16 yr old nothin bad happen and I’m 14 now I’m dating a 19 yr old and still nothing bad has happen I am to mature furr my age so yeah umm yeah

September 2, 2010 at 3:37 pm
(72) Elisha says:

Stephen maybe you should ask permission from the girl you want to date parents. They may respect you for it. And ONLY see this girl under THEIR terms. The better they get to know you the better they may trust you. DON’T ever do it behind their backs it will only make you look bad. Make sure her parents know, because this girl may say her parents know when they really don’t. (Afraid that she won’t be able to see you.) So be a man and personally get her parents approval. It will only make you look good.

September 3, 2010 at 9:40 am
(73) stephen says:

elisha i agree with you on that one and thats what i am going to do on saturday . i will mention come out like ” you do know i am 18 right ” ? simple as that

September 11, 2010 at 8:07 pm
(74) Cindy says:

I have the same but opposite problem. My son is 18 dating a 14 year old. I am worried. He says he is not planning on having sex with her. I dont approve but for some reason her parents do. UGH. I am trying to find legally at what age they can date. Hopefully thats not to far away. I know in Colorado you legally cant have sex until your 15. But what is the age difference for dating. Or is there one. And how would I find out. So Dear mom I am there with you. You forbid it you chase her away you say yes and what if. Scary.

September 18, 2010 at 12:50 pm
(75) anonymous says:

You should seriously take the chance to get to know the boy before you make a decision that could potentially hurt your daughter. I am a senior and high school and almost 18, and I would be seriously offended if someone said I couldn’t see their daughter exclusively because of my age. I feel that is discriminating against me. Now, on the other hand, I wouldn’t let them do just anything together, as not everyone has the best intentions. I believe caution should be practiced, but don’t completely forbid it. I thought it would be nice to give my point of view from the other side. And coming from a teenager, I am sure they would find a way to meet even if you forbade them, and then it would be outside of your supervision instead of under it. I believe the latter is safer. Hope this helps!

September 21, 2010 at 4:06 pm
(76) megan says:

I agree with anonymous I am a parent of a 15 year old girl who is sort-of seeing a 17 year old boy. (They are around 2 1/2 years apart.) I am only allowing her to see this boy under my terms. No car dates, no time alone without my supervision, not allowed to go to his home, no staying over at any of her friends because I would be afraid she would be tempted too see him,and her dad won’t give her cell phone minutes back or texting so she can’t make plans behind our backs. They go to the same school and church so they get to see each other. And I agree that if you forbid it and they seem to really like each other there may be things going on behind our backs. Her dad is really wishy-washing on this situation, but I feel I better try to let her see I trust her to make the right decisions. I hope this doesn’t back fire.

October 5, 2010 at 10:49 pm
(77) Anon says:

dear concern mothers,

I do agree that eighteen is too old for her, but for other parents who have a daughter dating a similar age group,
GIVE THEM A BREAK!
i am 18 and so are my friends, but you have to learn to trust you daughters and give them respect. i know alot of girls who when with older guys just to piss them off, they wouldn’t have done it if thier parents weren’t too strcit on them, i understand that some have kids who are easily led, but if your child is strong willed, jvst discuss sex with them and give them an age limit and tell them that they should feel emotionally ready and deal with the aftermath, whatever it may be. but don’t let them not see older guys. for me, i date older guys, i have an age limit though, because i know who i am and i know to say no to the guy.
mothers, just give your kids a chance to prove themself to you and let them show you how wise they can be. if it helps, i’m still a virgin and i have dated older guys before and i’ve been pressvred into having sex MANY times but have said no. and i will continue to say no until i meet a guy who i like a lot, i’m not the intimate type, so that’s why i didn’t say love. a guy i’ll introduce my family too, who expands my knowlegde, who can get me to talk politics (winnner) and will wait for me to say yes even if it means until i’m 50.
Give your daughters a chance to show a guy like that to you and good luck with your conversations about older guys

:)

October 6, 2010 at 10:24 am
(78) Mom43 says:

i can see all of your sides to this story. my daughter is 14 in high school. her boyfriend is going to turn 18 soon in the same high school. they have a lot in common, love horses and talk rodeo all the time. last night he texted me and mentioned that his parents and grandparents bought up the age thing. which the kids didn’t even think about – they go to school, see each other before class, after class and at horse events. don’t freak your kids out over a number. get to know the people your kids are hanging out with and make the judgement after that. this young man is no more 18 acting than my daughter is 14 acting. if you really did the math they pretty much balance each other out. i agree if you forbid this it will not work. just trust your kids and make rules and stick to them. i take my daughter every where to see this boy at his horse events – he come up to the house and we do stuff together as a family. it’s not a worry to him and neither of them mind – cause that’s the rules.. TRUST is what it’s about..

October 6, 2010 at 12:14 pm
(79) Kensington says:

My first instinct is that 14 and 18 are just too far apart emotionally and with where they are in life. Of course, people have brought up their own experience with dating with such an age difference and it turning out ok, but I figure there are plenty of stories saying it did NOT turn out ok.

October 7, 2010 at 11:04 pm
(80) Sav_Evans says:

Hi,
I met my boyfriend when I was 14 and we started dating when I was 14 and a 1/2. He was 17 at the time.
Our maturity levels matched up so well, unlike the other kids in my grade.
Parents: we teens do understand where you re coming from, but please understand our reasoning.
Lately, girls matureity is equal to a senior classman guy.

Me and Eric (my boyfriend) have been dating for 9 months now.
He turned 18 in May, I turned 15 in August.

We WILL sneak behind you back.
Maybe not sneak out, I havent, but we will meet at school or at parties or whatever we can.

Supervise them if you have to, but atleast let them be together.
You’ll probably cause a lot of hatred and stress in your household if you dont.

October 13, 2010 at 9:02 pm
(81) Anonomus says:

trust me here, any of you moms. im 14 so i no, if you talk to your child often, she’ll get really unset. just tell her once, or twice. or else she’ll just get annoyed. we now you love us and care and dont want us to get hurt. and yes most of the time its a bad idea. but if you got to know him, got to see them together, and if you can tell they’re in love. soooo in love. you should let it be. but mostly, show your child you trust them. care about them.

October 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm
(82) Joe says:

A 14 yr old girl told a 24 yr old guy i love u but they never asked each other out but theres always 2 gether,holding each other,holding hands,and always talking about anything does it mean there boyfriend and girlfriend

October 14, 2010 at 9:28 am
(83) stephen says:

what if she is 15 and you see her every day at school ? wouldnt people already would of said something ?

October 15, 2010 at 5:40 pm
(84) Aaron says:

when i was 13 i was having sex with a 17yo girl and had no problems with it. however at 21 in a sexual relationship with a girl who turned out to be 16 [we met in a club] and ended it staight away. boys should not date younger girls till the girls at least17 young girls really turn me on but trust me as a guy its wrong and no man who does so has good intentions me and my friends have all done it my wife dated a 29yo when 13 and it has left her emotionally scared my wife is30 im25

October 17, 2010 at 3:37 pm
(85) shez says:

am a 14 year old and am in love with an 18 year old
and if my mum ever tried to stop me from seeing him she would push me over the edge
if any of you have concerns like this i acctually think u need to start understanding what teenagers go thrpugh i mean ther is so many parents out there who have so many year between them.
you stop ur kids from seeing who they want to they could turn on or you could push them over the edge just be careful on the decisions you make
thanks:)

October 20, 2010 at 8:24 pm
(86) lolly says:

hey I’m a 14 year old girl and my mum and dad would NEVER let me date an 18 year old, simply because he is nearly a man. In all honesty I would still find a way to see him but wouldn’t have any sex whatsoever because I respect my mum and dad so much, and I’m pretty mature for my age and I know what I’d be getting myself into, so you will have to trust your daughter and talk to her regularly about the guy and how their relationship is going on in general. I hope I helped :)

October 23, 2010 at 11:10 pm
(87) MR insightfull says:

firstly to mother of 2 from post 65 your being quite a hipocryt people are not taught how to love and its not for you to say if its posiable or not for younger people to know what love is.

now to the point im a 20 year old dating a 15 year old and we have been together for 2 years now, i can honestly say that she lights up my world every second i spend with her, i love her with all my heart and that she feels the same about me, i have never had any intention of taking advantage of her even when she pressured me for sex and i am happy to wait for her, as for her parents they are half half her mother likes me and tusts me but her father is ex army and has thought from th start that my only intention was to have sex with her and has acused me on more then one occasion of doing things that i simply havent done.
although i know that i wouldnt do anything to destroy what i have with my girlfrined i know from experience that not all guys are like me and do only look for sex but mostly dealing in the age group this deals with those types of guys do go for girls their own age or older.

not pushing my belifes on you like most of the people that have writen here and are against this a good first step is to figure out who this guy is after that you can make up your own mind on what you should do

October 25, 2010 at 7:16 am
(88) I says:

Me: 20 year old
Her: 14 year old
Relationship status: Deep love (no sex, just cuddling lots ^.^)
My parents view: Mum: “Don’t hurt her feelings!”
Dad: “You can’t have sex before the age of 16…blah, blah, blah…law…blah, blah.

Her parents view: Mum: “You will not hurt my daughter or have sex with her!”
Dad: “Get away from her! You only want sex from my daughter!”

Your view?: Your view is similiar to her parents views.

Her view: Really do love him, what if he leaves me? (sad face)

And finally…My view: Love her, she’s perfect, really do love her, never felt like this before, want to spend eternity with her, I hope we won’t be seperated…(sad face)

Possible endings: 1. T_T We are driven apart by public criticism and parents.
2. We run away, live happily ever after (highly unlikely).
3. Opinions change, parents accept me, happy face.
4. We run away, get caught, parents accuse me of sexual relationship which I did not do. I go to jail T_T crying face forever. When I get out of jail the girl has moved on. OR if the accusations do not hold, law chains me from her…because parents do not want me near her. T_T crying face.

Please help me…I really love her. Parents hate me. T_T

October 26, 2010 at 3:28 pm
(89) randompersonwhonoonereallyknows says:

what are you all smoking? she says she will not have sex but to be honest, if she is at the point in a relationship where she is ready to have sex, then it will make no difference if it with an older guy, in fact it is more likely that she will have sex with someone her own age. i would just allow it and say to the girl, listen i do not mind you spending time with him but i dont want you to get into a sexuall relationship, if you restrict her like other people are saying, she will not grow up and thank you down the line, she will grow up and resent you. trust me i have been in the same situation. but just give her a warning and say that you will call the police if you do have sex, dont give her so much freedom that she feels she can walk over you, but dont restrict her so much she hates you.

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