A mom on our forum seeks advice: "My 14 year old daughter met this boy (18 years old) through mutual friends. She is infatuated with him and says she loves him. He says he loves her too. She has told him there will be no sexual activity between them and she says he understands that??? My feeling is NO!NO!NO! I don't want he to date him or any (over her age) boy. Should I say NO and risk her sneaking around and doing it. How should I handle this? I am a single mom. Her father hardly has any time for her."
Advice from cstone360: "Your concerns on both sides are very valid. Perhaps a lesser of two evils, however undesirable, may be ideal. Instead of risking her running of and possibly getting pregnant, perhaps say she can see him but only when you're around - come over for dinner, studying, hanging out while you're there and visible at all times. Studying in a common room (living room, etc). if they wish to go to a movie or dinner - drive them and accompany them, never leaving them out of your sight. Undesirable but the lesser of two evils. He may grow wary of mom always being around and leave."
Denise's thoughts: I agree with cstone360. The mom could try and forbid it, but has no way of doing what she would need to do to enforce it. Allow the dating when you can chaperon. Keep lines of communication open with your daughter, talking to her often about sex, love, family values and teen pregnancy.
- When should teens start dating?
- Five Truths about Your Teen and Dating
- Parenting Teens Contracts: Teen Dating
- Are You Sabotaging Your Teen's Social Life?
Asking our parenting community: Do you agree, disagree or think it isn't any big deal? Please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the comments area.