A mom on our forum is asking for advice: My son, who is a senior, carries a 3.7 GPA, follows his curfews and never verbally disrespects me. But he lies to me and I know he smokes marijuana occasionally. What is the right thing for me to do?
Denise's thoughts: I think if you are aware of him using drugs, you should approach him and talk to him about it. Discuss the risks he is taking with the law, his health, etc. Talk to him about his future and your family's values concerning drug use. Then if you find he is having a problem, explore his feelings on talking to a counselor about his drug use.
Asking our parenting teens community: What advice to your have to offer this mom? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments area.
More: What Do I do If My Teen Lies to Me? | Parenting Quiz: Is Your Teenager Using Drugs?
Denise's thoughts: I think if you are aware of him using drugs, you should approach him and talk to him about it. Discuss the risks he is taking with the law, his health, etc. Talk to him about his future and your family's values concerning drug use. Then if you find he is having a problem, explore his feelings on talking to a counselor about his drug use.
Asking our parenting teens community: What advice to your have to offer this mom? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments area.
More: What Do I do If My Teen Lies to Me? | Parenting Quiz: Is Your Teenager Using Drugs?
Unfortunately we are inundated with press about how legalizing its use is so great and that it does not harm you. I actually put my son in a program that helped him see how bad it was for the young brain and how it sometimes leads to more potent drugs especially in young people. this helped a lot.
I would also discuss his lack of honesty with you, and how it affects your relationship and trust.
He is soon to be on his own either in college, or in a job where he is going to need some maturity to make good decisions.
It is not cool to be dishonest about it….
You can still influence him at this point with parenting, and I would not ignore it.
Liz has good advice. I agree. You also might discuss the legal effect and how it could influence scholarships, jobs etc in the future. Along a similar theme, my son has learned in confidence that his good (14 yrs old) friend is experimenting with drugs and sex. The friend has not told his parents, who are also friends of ours. My son has encourged his friend to stop and also to talk with his parents. At what point do you think the parents should be told or should we keep the confidence and let them work it out?
You could also print out brochures/info that shows negative results from using “pot.”. I don’t know about every where, but there are things added and put on joints that are not very safe. Things/chemicals that cause drug induced psychosis. Yes, talking to a counselor may help, too. Some people view smoking marijuana as a minor thing….but I have heard it can be the “gate way” drug…I hope he gets help.
Peer Pressure is usually what causes kids to start using drugs. Perhaps your son is using it for recreation purposes to fit in with his friends. I think you have to sit him down and ask him directly WHY? Then reassure him that you will support him and that you love him no matter what, but that you want him to stop. It is good to google it and show him the side effects as well. Hope it all works out.