Teen Dating? Girl Crazy 11 Year Old Boy

A parent on our forum asks: My worry is that his happiness seems to be dependent on the responses he gets from a girl in school. The love of his family, the playing with schoolmates, his good grades, everything seems to just pale in comparison to whether or not this girl "likes him". He privately texts "I've felt like I'm going to cry for three hours" but we don't see that, he seems reserved but fine to us. I have been reading his texts so I know more of what is going on in his head, but then again perhaps he is just texting these things for attention? My main concern is that at eleven years old, a "relationship" is so important to him. I don't even know how he defines a "relationship" because we certainly wouldn't support dating.

How can we get him to not put so much emphasis on being liked by one special girl, and more on all the wonderful things he has in his life?

Denise's thoughts: I think your worry is understandable. He seems to be an early bloomer in this area. Here is what I would try:

• Talk to him respecting where he is(very interested in girls) instead of where you wish him to be(not interested in girls).
• Share with him your concerned that he may be too connected to what others think of him, instead of working on growing up and becoming the fantastic person you know he will be. Dating isn't easy, share what you know with him. See: Five Truths about Your Teen and Dating
  
• Redirect his attention. Ask him to come up with ideas of what he can be involved in that doesn't totally involve being with girls. What are his other interests? What interests would he like to try? See: 4 Reasons Your Teen Needs a Hobby

Then keep a close eye out for any problems.

Asking our community of parents of teens: Do you have a boy- or girl-crazy teen at home? What solutions have your come up with to deal with their emotional ups and downs? Please share your opinions, advice and experiences in the comments area.