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15-Year-Old Teen Son Lacks Motivation in School

By November 12, 2012

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Gloria, a mom asks: I have a 15-year-old-son who is very bright, but just doesn't want to put any effort in studying or doing homework. I have tried to have him held back, but the schools won't do this because they see him as capable, just not willing to work. I've tried bribery, taking away privileges, grounding, but nothing seems to work. He refuses to take responsibility and wants to blame everyone else. Is homeschooling a good idea? I can't make him do what I don't know he is suppose to do in high school. I need good advice from someone who has had a similar situation.

Denise's thoughts: You sound like a mom who is trying very hard, but you feel like all you are doing is spinning your wheels. Many of us have been there. I suggest you get a counselor to talk to your son. Sometimes we are unable to see the problems our teens are having because we are too close to the situation. If you start by finding him some help, they will be able to help you make a plan and create some goals for your teen and take the guess work out of what you are trying to do.

Asking Our Parenting Teens Community: How are you able to motive your teen to do well in school? Please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the comments area.

More: Printable Goals Setting Worksheet for Teens | Quiz: Is Your Teen Independent?

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November 14, 2012 at 7:57 am
(1) Yvonne Holcomb says:

I did have this with my son at this age. I started paying for grades each quarter for positive reinforcement and would not let him go places that day if homework is not completed. Shoet consequences. It is a maturity issue. He is not showing maturity to get a license to drive if he’s not mature enough to do his work. My son did not see the relevance of homework. Show him business before pleasure and inspire him with things that motivate. Driving privaledges, money etc. Checck out the Love and logic” program,

November 14, 2012 at 8:49 am
(2) Shelley says:

I have a 12 year old daughter whom I am struggling with in this regard. I find that setting a time when her cell phone, tv and music are turned off and I can monitor her progress is helping. She is resistent but knows homework needs to get done or she will not see the phone back. Try making a contract with rewards and consequences, both agree and sign. Hang on the frig so that you can refer. remember to positively phrase when thinks are going as the contract states.

November 14, 2012 at 9:20 am
(3) Ayse says:

I would suggest you to read a book from Barkley Russel “your defiant teen”. It helped me a lot.

November 14, 2012 at 11:22 am
(4) Denise Guide to Parenting Teens says:

Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship is a good book. I reviewed it here: http://parentingteens.about.com/od/productreviews/gr/Your-Defiant-Teen-10-Steps-To-Resolve-Conflict-And-Rebuild-Your-Relationship.htm

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