How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen?
Monday September 18, 2006
An important goal when communicating with teens is talking with them just to talk. This helps build and strengthen the bond between you. While it can be hard ‘just to talk’ with a teenager, it is possible! Stay involved in things that interest them, make a favorite meal with dessert or text them on their cell phone. These times offer an opportunity for you start a conversation and get to know your teen as he/she becomes the person he/she is going to be.
Take our quiz and see just how well you really know your teen. Jot down some of the questions you aren’t sure of and put them in your next conversation.
Comments
i am a teen and when i was searching the enternet for a mothers day card i found this quiz.
i think that if you were truly interested in your childs life you would ake time from the start.
i dont get along with my parents very well. i talk to my step mom more than my birth mother because she doesnt judge the decisions i make. i know i am young and do make bed choices, but she helps me learn from them, and that makes me want to talk with her about random stuff. when your child feels comfortable talking about the maybe unimportant stuff, then they can become comfortable talking about the other stuff.
the pressure parents these days put on their kids is very stressful. we have already a lot on our plate with school and worring about life after school. its a lot to handle. im not saying its okay to do stupid stuff like drugs but just to have a little of sympathy for us.
and you cant say that you a child once, and you know how this works, because times were different back then. honestly, its not the same.
so, my preaching is over. and next time you want to talk to your teen, dont ask how is school, thats lame. get to know the music they like (without judgement), their favorite candy, etc.
just go easy on them, thats all im asking.
thanx for listening, now go do it to your teens.
~mia
i am a teenager and today i was on this website with my little brothers printing out birthday cards for my mom for mothers day tomorrow. all of a sudden i saw all this stuff about teens in a column, and i clicked on one about dating, out of curiosity. i think that it is good that there is help out there for parents but the advice should guide them not turn them into robots following every little thing the guide says. its kind of embarassing when my mom talks to me about this stuff. id rather hjer talk to me about the stuff i like and enjoy instead of always just talking about following her rules and guidelines. just remember teens dont like knowing their not the ones in charge, and we especially dont like being judged or told what to do all the time. thnx for listening
I am a teen too or at least a pre-teen and i noticed that on these comments there are none that were written by parent’s or adults.I would really like to see what do parents have to say about this site. Just because us Teens like it dosen’t really meen that our parents are going to follow it. maybe we need to just let our parents do there thing. and just relax and understand there doing the best they can and it’s all for us. Yeah there are times when we fel like running-away but we don’t because we won’t have anywhere to run to. even if you do you end up coming back. so we just gotta apprieciate what our parents are doing for us. in the future we’ll learn to apprieciate it
yeha
thank you ‘teens’ for posting-your thoughts are worth more than you know!
thanks, teens for your comments l have 2 teens l want to understand more. keep it up.
I have a pointer for teens: start conversations with your parents. Ask their advice. They’ll probably be thrilled to talk to you. Ask them how you should do your hair for the next dance, and tell them about the new band your friend just told you about. Ask them about their childhood. The first step to having a better relationship with your parents is getting to know them - they shouldn’t be the only ones talking.
-Lauren, 13
i have a teen and can honesely say i need help here. i know he is drinking/smoking. he is staying out and lying about where he stays. he has even snuck out at night while we are sleeping. i try to talk to him but get told i don’t understand and that i am too strict. i could go on an on. Any advice from a teen or a parent of a teen out there???
I stumbled upon this going somewhere else….but can very much relate. I appreciate the teens point of view and liked Lauren’s comment about the teen starting the conversation. I have two teenage daughters and although things fine, relative to what they could be, it is still difficult. Teens today, although some things may be more difficult, there are other things that are much easier….access to the internet has made life both easier and harder. When it comes right down to it, all humans go through the rights of passage. My frustration is the self centeredness - it is all about them. I am sad to feel like I am losing my family life - the movies and games we use to play together. It is their job to grow up and become independent and it is our job to provide limits. For the mom who is having a hard time with her son, I do sympathize. If you are really concerend he could be headed in the wrong direction then you do need to set down some rules and follow through. I get so tired of hearing kids say when I am 18…..what exactly does that mean. You are not an adult at 18 unless you are the one footing all the bills - doctor, cell phone, insurance, food, housing, etc. So you do still have some control. Discipline without the emotion is the key and the area I am the worst at. I get too emotionally upset. My husband is much better at just setting down the rules and that is that. Oh I could go on and on. Nice to have a forum to vent.
we are losing our relationship with our 17 yr old daughter. She behaves as full master of herself; does not accept rules and when try to discuss she bursts into screems and accusations that we don’t care about her. She only points to the negative events and forgets everything good we do to her. I understand when the teens wrote above but it is tolerable to any parent to feel unrespected and to let go of all the values they believe in.
I have an “interim” 16 year old “son” who needs parenting– he is actually my step nephew who is staying with us through the school year. His father suddenly passed away in May, and my husband (his father’s older brother) and I are helping his Mother, who has been through a lot, by helping with her son’s emotional support, and education. He has strong feelings about math, inability to succeed in it, so much he won’t study. We have tried to convince him he’s not giving it time, and he hs very clearly not going to give an inch, and has tried to drop the class; he’s in a new school, with a heavy load, and now the school will let him audit, but not let him drop it. We want to give him a private “instructor” so he can succeed, but he refuses to do the work. Is it too much to ask for him to try at this point, or should we let him pull back to a lower level math class? He’s end up with a “minimum” HS diploma - not a “recommended” HS diploma. He has a very low GPA, and no one until us has made him sit down and study for a set period every evening — and he has a lot of potential in writing and science. If he doesn’t take algebra seriously, how can we make him take it seriously, without being too harsh on him - there’s no immediate benefit to him to complete it, except saving face when he graduates. We know he can repeat this year, but eventually, and he doesn’t agree, he will hae to take that algebra course if he wnats any chance of going further in school. Any ideas? He has an IPOD, TV in his room, amplifier, everything he could want, but he’s also very depressed, and upset over his father, and having to transition to this new school, the teacher quality or lack of teaching in this class, and wanting to feel happy again. It is very sad, and he is trying, and not troublesome, but this is one thing he is digging his heels in about. He doesn’t see past tomorrow. What do we do — back off completely, or do we negotiate? What do we negotiate with?
U killed the kids one place they had the minute you entered and commented as adults. Did you notice the lack of comments from teens since the adults took to commenting on the teens conversation. I know its “ok” but it ruined the tone.
May be what is needed here is another space but for parents only. It is good to read what the kids think. Please don’t get stopped when adults pinch in, keep commenting.
U ARE WAY TO INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLES BUISNESS.
What do I do with my 15 year old daughter(that I try to spend time with)that’s dieing for daddy’s attention, and just can’t get it? She says, it’s to late. So she gets attention from a boyfriend that’s interested in drugs and sex. Can I please hear from the teens. Thanks:), very concerned Mom
is she haveing sex if she is hook me up
I think every teen learns the hard way my ex boyfriend is older then me by 2 years and has his own house and i had to learn the hard way i stayed with him for a while because i was defiant and didnt want to listen to my parents and it just hurt me because when i came home and found him cheating i got in my car and cried for an hour and a half i called my parents crying and they said see what you got your self into i finally got the courage to go back inside and tell him it was over yea i cried but at the end of the day i realized my parents are going to be there for me so if all your child is into is sex and drugs or her boyfriend all i am saying is she or he will eventually find out its wrong and will stop but just give them there room to grow because they need that with out a parent always on there case about it cause it sucks you need to learn your self any ways im proud to say that was 4 years ago and now i am happily married to the best man in the world and see i could have been married to that asshole but i learned so every bad thing comes to an end believe me there
What is considered a reasonable curfue? I have a 15 year old son that has just connected with a group of kids in our condo in the past 3 months. He is very responsable and honest with me and I have always told him that with responsability comes freedom and visa versa. He has been staying out til 3-4 AM since finding his new friends, mostly just hanging around the condo and I am sure they are not getting into trouble. The problem is that I never see him much. I am going to set some sort of guidlines but not sure what is reasonable.
I am a teen myself, and i was actually looking for something to send my mom to show her that I am growing up, but she thinks that the reason i spend so much time in front of the mirror is because of my stepmom. my mom is jealous of my stepmom, cause my mom never went on a single school trip with me, but my dad and stepmom did, my mom never helped me to figure out what matches and what doesnt, but my stepmom did, and my mom always finds a way out of taking me somewhere, but my stepmom spends the money to take me and get me new clothes, and go to my friends. So when i need to tell someone something i tell my stepmom, when i need something i tell my stepmom, cause when i tell my mom she judges me, and when i ask my mom to get me something she tells me to get it from my dad and stepmom. but now that my mom has realized what she has caused she is jealous of my stepmom, and is trying to break our relationship saying that she is the mom, but in the 5 years out of almost 17 that my stepmom has been in my life, she has spent more time and effort with me than my mom has ever, so she really needs to see this, cause she cant seem to understand why i have cut her out of my life.
Im 14-teen years old and i was on this site seeking help on finding a teen job. When I came across a link which said “How to tell if your teen is lying” or something like that. So me being curious and all I clicked it. All though these tips are helpful for parents who are in need there not really accurate. I mean some of the things that you were putting can be a result of something else. For instance with the whole eye contact thing I personally have a problem with keeping eye contact. But it doesent mean im lying all the time just means I cant keep eye contact. So I think Y’all need to critic these guidelines that would be substancial for us kids and parents.