If you ask your teenage son to take out the trash, you expect that he will take it out. If you're like many parents, you will expect that he take it out now. He, on the other hand, may have a different view of when it needs to be taken out. Like after the football game on TV is over. To him the trash man isn't coming until tomorrow morning, so why jump up now?
This situation is an example of how expectations and communication go hand in hand... as they almost always do. If you expected him to take out the trash now, then you need to let him in on that fact. Clear messages of your expectations, even the simplest ones, will avoid frustration and conflicts.
Be reasonable and fair with your expectations. If your son is in the middle of watching a football game, and the trash man comes tomorrow morning, then let it go until after the game. That's fair. On the flip side, if you need it out of the kitchen in order to get something done, then let him know that now is the time to do it. Don't be afraid to be fair to yourself also.
Reassess your expectations often. Things change and people are different. Situations will not always be the same, therefore, you need to be able to change your expectations. You're not going to set the same curfew for Saturday night at the movies that you do for the prom. So expect that they will come home later on this special occasion and set a later curfew. You're not going to expect your son, who wants to be a carpenter, to get the same grades in science as your daughter, who is studying to be a doctor one day. So when your son brings home a C in science and your daughter gets an A, congratulate both of them.
