Teens need to learn how to crawl before they learn how to walk. A steady climb in how much money they receive and what they are responsible to purchase and/or save with that money is my suggestion. Slowly going from having no responsibility with their money to having full responsibility for their personal purchases is the easiest for them to understand, and the least frustrating way to teach a teen money management.
Starting around the age of 12 years old, for about a year, give them 'blow money', ie 1 to 5 dollars a week to spend on anything their heart desires. Do not require that they purchase something or save any of it. Still pay for their activities with friends or things they like to have that you would normally do. The reason for this time is to enable your preteen to know what it feels like to have their 'own money'. Of course, you don't want it to be a lot of money at this point. By skipping this step or adding it on to the next step, you are causing more frustration than neccessary, for both you and your teen.
One more note on the 'blow money'. This is the money you take away if responsibilities, ie chores, are not met. When you add $5 to the pot for activities or whatever(explained in next paragraph), do not take that away as a punishment, instead take the activity and make them save it. This way you will keep teaching them their money management, and still be disaplining them. There comes a span in every teen's life when it seems like your always grounding them. This can hinder teaching them the responsibility of having money if the punishment of not having any money goes on too long.
From the ages of 13 to 14, you can add to money amount, and to the responsibility. Some suggestions:
- If your child gets $1 for lunch everyday, add $5 to their allowance and have them take the responsibility of buying their lunch.
- If you pay for them to go roller skating, movies, any activity, take an average of what you pay, give them that in their allowance and let them be responsible for their own activites with friends.
- If you add to the amount of 'blow money', make them save half. Have them save it for a certain date though, ex. for Christmas Shopping.
From the ages of 15 to 16, have them budget their own clothing. Hand them a piece of paper with $1000, (you pick the amount), at the top. When shopping time comes around, or they need a pair of socks, they can subtract it from their budget. Actually have them take the receipt and subtract the amount, plus any tax. If you give them money to shop for themselves, subtract the amount you gave them, unless they bring back the change. This will teach them why $150 sneakers aren't worth their price tag.
The only problem I have had with this amount is, and it happens with boys, growth spurts. Girls are generally developed at this point, though they may go up a size in a year. Boys, on the other hand, go from being a size 8 shoe and 5'4" tall to being a size 11 shoe and 6'1" tall in two months. This is going to mess up their clothing budget.
For the ages of 17 and 18, try giving a monthly allowance. If they do not have a bank account, they should get one, with a mac card. This is one of the times in which you will need to trust them. Be the co owner of the bank account, so you can always check the balance if you feel there is a need. The mac card is important, it will save you from handing them money because the bank is closed. Instead of giving them a piece of paper with the clothing budget money on it--pay them in monthly installments. Make them responsible for saving that money for when they will need it, like for school shopping.
What if they blow it?
Natural consequences....they wear last year's coat. It will be a much easier lesson to learn then if they have to learn it when they are on their own.
What if I don't like what they purchase?
You don't like it or it's offensive? We are not going to like what our children are wearing 100% of the time, probably not even 50% of the time. But if it is offensive to you, make them take it back. Give them a choice, take it back and get your money back for something else or throw it out. In other words, it's brick wall time. Just because you have allowed them to make purchases for themselves, does not give them cart blanche to offend you.
