Our job as parents is three fold: we need to show our teens how to be confident with whom they are, being true to themselves and therefore, have genuine friendships and not need to be accepted by those who would lead them down the wrong path. Here are some tips that will help with these goals:
Help build their confidence. Find your teen's niche. There are so many different activities, hobbies, etc. Explore them all with your teenager and I can promise you that they will find something they like and excel at. When they do, they will find other friends who like it also.
Encourage your teenager not to belong to 'the popular' crowd. Many times teens that belong to this crowd become overly stressed. They become so involved with what others want from them that they never explore what genuine friendship is all about.
Don't get caught up in the discipline battles. If your teen and their friends do something wrong, even if it is a serious issue, you will need to apply the auto rewind-repeat discipline. Teenagers learn by making choices, so they need to have the situations to be able to make their choices.
If your teen gets into trouble with a friend, they will learn if you take the privilege away of seeing that friend for one week and then being allowed to make the same choices again. If you take the privilege of seeing that friend away forever, there will be nothing for them to learn from.
Make it known to your teen that appearances are important. Outward appearance in teenagers is often a reflection of inner feelings. Encourage your teen to practice good hygiene and walk and talk with self-confidence.
Don't nit-pick their social life to death. Now this one is a thin line! Yes, going out with friends is a privilege, and one that should be taken away at times when your teenager does not live up to his responsibilities at home and at school. But, you need to remember that learning social skills can only happen in a social setting. It is very important that they learn these skills before they head off on their own. Therefore, try different forms of discipline instead of always taking social events away.
Try not to make your teen feel bad about who they are. If they are left out of a certain group that you would like to see them be involved in, remember that it may be their choice not to be involved with that group... and it is their choice to make. Allow them to be true to who they are. Give them constructive choices, show them what they can become involved in and then let them make the choice.
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