Doing The Best We Can...
Kip Kinkel's Parents Were
Normal Parents of Teens

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As parents, we try the best we can, but sometimes, it just isn't enough. We handle problems as they arise in our teens' lives. When the problems become to big for us to handle, we seek help. We try anything and everything, hoping that it will work. Sometimes what we try works, our teen comes through whatever phase, and we breath a deep sigh of relief, sometimes they don't get totally through it and it just becomes an annoying habit of theirs, but other times, it ends in tragedy...

Bill and Faith Kinkel were just like any other caring parents of a fifteen year old boy. They were middle-class, high family values type of parents. Bill Kinkel was a member of the tennis club. Faith volunteered with a group that enlist America's privileged youth to help poor children in Brazil. They were seasoned parents of teens, they raised Kristen, age 22, who went on to be a student at at Hawaii Pacific University. So what went wrong?

"They tried to discipline him,... But at some point, Kristin said, they just pretty much had given up on being able to control him." - Kim Scott, a close friend of Kristin Kinkel Cafeteria where Oregon students shot reopens Monday, CNN Interactive

When Kip developed an interest in bombs and began downloading information and making them, they tried restrictions, etc. When Kip developed an interest in guns, Bill decided it would be better to have control over this interest. He allowed the guns, which he felt would be better than Kip getting some on his own, and hiding it. This was not the wrong decision, it was not the guns that killed them, it was something inside Kip. Bill Kinkel made the best decision he could as a parent, he allowed the problem to stay out in the open, where communication starts, and solutions arise.

The Kinkels sought help. They had Kip in anger management counseling, he was on Prozac, and they did not back down with normal restrictions, which is what set off this terrible tragedy. On Wednesday, May 20th, when asked how he was doing by a friend, Kip answered, "I'm a little mad. My parents took away my guns." On Thursday, May 21st, Kip killed both his parents before he open fired in Thurston High School's cafeteria, killing two students and wounding 22.

It would be impossible for any parent to be able to for see the events on that day. Bill and Faith Kinkel would never have thought that the child they cradled in their arms would have the ability to hurt people so deeply. I firmly believe that they are the type of parents that are looking down on their son right now, praying that he comes to accept what he did and seek forgiveness, from himself and from society, so that they may place their arms around him again some day.

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Copyright ©1998 Denise D Witmer

(source CNN Interactive, IMHO, they have the best coverage)

Related Information:

Teen Violence Net Links
For understanding and dealing with violence in teenagers.

School Violence
Seconday School Educators' Guide Diane Walker has an extensive list of links to Websites with information about violence in the schools.

School Shootings Addressed
US Government/Resources Guide Robert Longley has an excerpt from the Presidential press briefing held on May 21, 1998 focusing on the tragic outbreak of school shootings.

Tragedy in Springfield and Parental Responsibility
Another tragic school shooting. Read guest author Barbara Sehr's powerful essay on what we must teach our children, from the Stay at Home Parents site.

Safe Surfing Programs for Teens
You can't always be there when they are on the Net, but your influence can.

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