Answer: Abuse in relationships stems from unresolved anger and a desire to control the other person, behavior that isn't limited to males abusing females. Abuse isn't only physical aggression but also includes threats, demands for constant attention, verbal put-downs, intimidation and destroying personal property.
If violent or manipulative behavior is a pattern for your teen, or if he's witnessed abuse or been abused then your suspicions are most likely accurate, as this is behavior that is learned.
Aggressive behavior in teens can also result from drug abuse and mental health disorders such as anxiety or depression. Relationships often bring out emotional difficulties in a teen that they've previously been able to hide from others.
When your teenage son or daughter is the perpetrator of abuse it takes parental courage to do what's needed to help stop the cycle of violence. Here are suggestions on how to help:
- Talk to your teen to express your concerns.
- Don't get pulled into the denial that keeps abusive relationships going.
- Assist your son in getting professional help to understand the reasons he is abusing someone he cares about.
- Let him know your willingness to support him in dealing with his abusive behavior and learning more effective communication.