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Stop Negotiating With Your Teen

Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody or Depressed Adolescent

About.com Rating 4 Star Rating


Stop Negotiating with Your Teen

Parents can stop enabling their teens through negotiation with the methods taught in Stop Negotiating with Your Teen.

Photo © Perigee Trade
There is a line between giving your teen choices and allowing them to make their own decisions or enabling them to intimidate you and manipulate the situations they get in. Stop Negotiating With Your Teen by Janet Sasson Edgette will show you where that line is and how to avoid crossing it with your teen – or get you back to where you need to be if the line has already been crossed.

Key Highlights of the Book

The book is a straight forward read, very uncomplicated and clear in its parenting message: You can handle any problem you may have with your teen successfully through firm and fair discipline. Real life examples are used for the purpose of illustrating points. In this way, the book will give you practical advice and usable ways to implement its guidance. Some more highlights:
  • Gives parents practical ways to deal with mood swings, teen anger and rage. While situations like these aren't easy, given the tools from the book, parents will find that it is not impossible to deal with their teen.
  • Shows parents how to use communication and listening skills to keep confrontations from spinning out of control. Helps parents understand a teen's anger can be a cry for help that they can turn into positive steps toward fixing the problem and a better relationship with their teenager.
  • Helps the permissive parent understand that enabling their teen to do things that are not good for them breaks down trust and leads to more problems.
  • Communication is key to active discipline in this book - everywhere, really. In Stop Negotiating With Your Teen, parents are shown why it is important to not be afraid of talking with your teen, when to pick your battles and how not to back down.
  • Will help parents of trouble teens connect and make a difference. A perfect book to read if your teen is in therapy and gives useful information that will help when talking with their counselor.
  • The book is an easy read with only 173 pages. It is also very useful parenting reference in times of need.

Why This Book Is an Important Addition to Your Parenting Teens Library

When you become the parent of a teenager, it is not long before you realize that you have to change your parenting strategy. You have to go from the parent who tells their child when they should be doing something and what it is they have to do, to being a parenting of a teen who advises their child on the 'whens' and 'whats'. In the process, parents can get lost. You can go too far, relinquishing too much of your responsibility. Your teen will then start to act entitled or spoiled. Then you find yourself negotiating with your teenager and wondering when you lost all control. While reading this book may not prevent this from happening. It will help your recognize the signs and show you how to get back on track.

Also, if you are in family counseling with your teen, this is an excellent book to read or refer to while you are setting up a plan of action for your family. It can help you understand what is going on with your teen and you can ask questions using language from the book helping you to understand even more of what you can do to increase your parenting skills.

On a final note, I was referred to this book in one of my parenting effectiveness classes. Thank goodness, as I really needed it a few months later when I started working with more 16- to 18-year-old boys. A few had anger management problems and I was happy to be able to pull the book off my shelf and brush up on my communication and conflict resolution skills. I highly recommend getting a copy.

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