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How To Talk to a Teen with Looking for a Date Jitters

By Denise Witmer, About.com

If your teen gets nervous about asking someone out on a date, know that he/she is not alone. Many, if not most, teens have anxious feelings when they think about opening themselves up for rejection as that can be a blow to their self-esteem. But that is no reason not to try. Here is how to encourage your teen to ask someone on a date, even when he/she has the ‘looking for a date’ jitters.
Difficulty: N/A
Time Required: on-going

Here's How:

  1. Remember to keep your emotions in check. Do not get too excited or worried. Take a deep breath and think of yourself as a life coach.

  2. Using appropriate interest, ask your teen about the person he/she wants to ask on a date.

  3. Assess where your teen would like to go on the date. Is it out to the movies or to the prom? Different situations would call for different strategies.

  4. Role-play the situation. Offer your teen suggestions, but allow your teen to decide what he/she is comfortable doing and/or saying.

  5. Ask your teen what he/she would say if the person says no? What if the perspective date says yes? Offer suggestions if your teen isn’t able to think of any.

Tips:

  1. If your teen is looking for a date for a big event, like the prom, he/she may be even more nervous. Ask if going as a group with some friends may be an alternative or asking someone for just a friendly date. Going together as friends can take the edge off.

  2. This is good time to talk to your teen about how to respond when someone asks him/her out on a date. Talk about polite ways to let someone down too.

  3. At what age should teens be allowed to start dating?

    See the poll results.

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