From the article: Five Signs You Are Having a Respectful Conversation with Your Teen
Back talk is a common rude behavior teens engage in when they are being told to do something they do not want to do. How do you handle this behavior when it happens with your teen? Share stories when you employed a useful way of handling your teen's back talk. Share Your Stories
Discern
- I too, stuggle with the backtalking my teens will engage in rather harshly. Most of the time, I repeat what they are trying to say in a calm polite way, completely disregarding their "tone". Usually, I ask them if they agree with me that what I said (in a curteous manner) is exactly what they meant. I then say, I'm just making sure with a smile on my face. It is important to them that we, as parents, can help them communicate, respectfully without judging them in any negative way.
- —Guest Nicole
Let's Put That on Hold
- I have been told repeatedly by those 'more in the know' than myself that the best way to deal with a back-talking teen is to stop the conversation and go back to it when he/she can communicate in a courteous manner. As a reminder, this goes both ways as teens learn by example. So, if parents aren't in an agreeable mood, don't start the communication until both parties can bring their 'very best' to the table! Good Luck!
- —Guest SChancellor
For Attachment Challenged Teens
- Back talk is a major problem because they are so easily stressed by their primary caregiver's directions. I chose a time when my daughter was calm and not back talking to have a conversation with her about the impact her back talking was having on our relationship. I let her know that I felt tired out by it and sad that we have so much trouble talking lovingly with one another when we are talking about something she doesn't like. She said she understood and that she didn't like herself very much when she was acting that way either. We came up with a plan together to work on it. It is kind of involved, but goes like this: When she starts back talking, I take a deep breath and ask her to "play our game" which is a cue for her to take a step back and breathe before saying another word. If she does it, we put a penny in her jar. Small rewards follow. The plan works about 50% of the time. That is 50% more peace than we had before.
- —ceeshelman
Take the Xbox
- I'm on my own with 3, but only one teen. (Thank goodness) The only way I can 'shut him up' is to take away his xbox controller. He then has to do extra chores to 'earn' it back. He is much better now at controlling his mouth.
- —silver0amethyst
