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Readers Respond: When should teens start dating?
Responses: 22

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Do you believe in an age that teens can start dating? I know I’ve always preferred to go with the maturity of the teen and the responsibility of the one my teen wants to date, rather than picking an age where my teen can automatically date whomever she wanted to. But an age range is something to give a teen who is looking forward to dating, setting the expectations. Share what age you told your teen that they could start dating and why. Share Your Thoughts

Helping your child.

My daughter has been a straight A student, top 10 student in her school and she has had no problem with her boyfriend. She has been dating him for 2 years now. If I dont agree with what she is doing I simply tell her no and lay down the law. Give them freedom but only at the right time. Simple as that.
—Guest Michael

Teen pregnancy with mulitiple kids!

I'm a high school teacher and the students I teach range from 14-19. I've noticed in school and around town when students get caught up in dating and etc they lose all sense of direction and school is the least thing on their minds. I live in a city where teen pregnancy having multiply children is on the rise. Many of the students began dating in elementary by the time they reach high school some have 2 to 3 children. Many adults can't handle serious relationships, so children are still developing their identity and self-worth. To add another human to complete one's life leaves several youngster to believe without a boyfriend or girlfriend their life is meaningless. So dating should not be encourage until the child is mentally, emotionally capable of handing the pressures of life. Being attracted and thinking or saying one is attractive is a natural thing. But when acting out these feelings can lead to serious developmental issues as the child matures.
—Guest Disturbing

Judge by the other

I disagree with quite a bit of this. Your son or daughter is not the primary thing to be worried about. It's who they are dating. A boyfriend or girlfriend is definitely one of the biggest influences in yoru teen's behavior. Make sure that they know their date well before dating and make sure you do too. If their date is responsible, has their priorities straight, and shows signs of maturity, then dating at a young age should not be considered ridiculous at all. Setting a high age for dating isn't the best way to go, after all, dating both requires and bestows a lot of maturity that they won't find any other way. All I'm saying is don't make it forbidden fruit, as not all junior high or high school students fit the stereotype they've been cursed with.
—Guest Ryan

What are you saying is dating?

I have two sons 13 and 15. My very shy guy and gross 13-year-old has suddenly become very outgoing when it comes to girls. He has several friends who are girls who he texts. They have a lot in common. They like the same music and have some of the same friends. He has gone to her house when her parents are home and there are other kids there. I have talked with the mother and talked to other mothers who are my friends about the family. He was annoyed that I wanted to talk to the girl's mother until I explained that I talked to all of his friends mothers before he was allowed to go over. She has also come over here. He is on the swim team, going to summer camps and on a family vacation. He is required to read and do his chores before he can play is guitar or go to the skate park. His brother also has a girlfriend with the same situation going on. They see them maybe 2x's a week. The older one also works. Neither are left unsupervised. Ever.
—Guest Antanina

The Start of High School

I know someone who's 17 and has been in a strong relationship for two years. The start of high school sounds just about right.
—Guest Becca

Start with Groups before College

I think 10th grade is a good age, but group dating only. In 9th grade you're just getting a grab on high school and by 10th or 11th grade you're more settled. When you're 17 it's ok to go on alone dates,but with a lot of rules. Waiting to date till you're 18 is a very bad idea, that's when teens go to college and need dating experience so they don't get taken advantage of. The world isn't as innocent as it used to be.
—Guest Lily

lori

My daughter has been dating for some time now. Her first so called "date" was in fifth grade which was supervised in our home. It lasted for two hours and involved video games and a Disney movie. I think It's best to get to know the person your child is interested in. Forbidding them to see this person is only encouraging them to sneak around and lie. Now that she's 17 dating has a whole different meaning. We let her know if we like this person or not, it doesn't always stop her. But I know our opinion does matter to her and in time she does figure things out. So picking a "perfect" age is a tough call. I'd say it depends on your definition of 'dating'.
—momwhocares

15?.... It Depends on the Teen

Fifteen isnt that bad of an age to start dating. Depending on how mature and responsible the teen is. They have to understand that they will have to juggle school and a relationship.
—Guest Tiffany

16-17-18....Maturity/Responsibilty

I'm 13 years old and I don't believe I should start dating. Dating, only makes your life more complex. All these different emotions can build up inside you and get in the way of school.I personally think that you should start dating when you're 16,17 or 18. That is, what I think. It is when you are most mature and responsible.
—Guest Taylor

17 or 18

As a teen, I agree 17 or 18 is the best age. Maturity and responsibility are very important!
—Guest dian

Nothing Below 18

I wouldn’t advice teens to date at an age lower than 18 because I feel as if teens are so naïve about what relationships are suppose to be about. Especially girls, they have this illusion of what they think it should be and it’s always wrong, wrong, wrong. At 18 I think they know what they should expect from guys and also the other way around for the guys of girl. Clearly a lot of teens are confused, 18 is just the perfect age.
—Guest Nadine

15 or 16, Depending on the Maturity

I believe that all parents have a certain way to rasie their kids. There are the authoritive parents that well discipline them, the authoritarian that loosen up on them at times, and the permissive that allow them to do whatever they like...a permissive paernt's child is the child that is most likely to end up pregnant or in a boy's case, impregnate another female. Other things come in as STD's and drugs. If you're the parent that watches your child closely, and being hard on them, or as most would call it "tough love" then your child is most likely to grow up mature and cautious of themselves...though 15 and 16 are the best probable age... depending on the maturity. Though they also need that guidance, that shoulder to cry on. Don't just leave them alone to have to deal with all the hardship, break-ups and peer pressure. So parents, watch those parenting skills. Because even if you say no they're going to do it anyway!! They have school to do it, so best thing is to guide them.
—Guest unknown

Tough Decision

My daughter has been riding the "Dating Train" for some time now. She keeps saying she's ready but over and over again she keeps pushing boundaries. I think that it all depends on maturity. Don't just set an age limit for your child. I believe that any child should be allowed to date in a group as soon as they are a teenager. When they reach an appropriate age (15-16) they should be allowed to date alone but with specified rules. Just make sure you know the boy, set an appropriate curfew, don't set too many boundaries (because believe it or not, a teen will break your rules, skip out of school, fail a class, do pretty much anything to see that person, trust me I know! haha) and meet his parents. Know this boy up and down before you let your daughter alone with him. If he's worth it, he'll be alright with it. Just don't interrogate the boy into leaving, it only makes things much worse and try to trust your child, don't think that they're doing all the wrong things. Good luck :)
—Guest Kate

When they are responsible.

Teens should start dating when they are fully responsible, or when they earn that privilege.
—Guest 2009m

Can't say...

I don't think there is a right age, but for how long can we postpone it? And what is really dating? My daughter wanted to date since grade 7, I personally found that ridiculous. My concept of dating was to go out, have a soda, a coffee, go to a party together,a movie, a supper, and that only happens when you have money, transportation, invitation and permission. That happens at 16-17-18. Before that, there should only be friendship, and maybe a very innocent platonic romance if its at school, sport groups and neighbors, hopefully always supervised.
—bestfriend1