Friday December 18, 2009
A mom on our forum: I periodically spot check my preteen daughter's MySpace and text messaging activities. She is aware that I do. She has been made aware of what we believe is inappropriate behavior online and in texts through ongoing discussion. She has friends that are boys, and she texts with them a lot. I recently discovered a boy (same grade in school) texting some messages that were sexually explicit. There were several where he told her to touch herself, take her clothes off to her bra and panties, etc., and about how some other girl had seen his privates accidentally (which appeared to be baiting her to request a picture). I did not notice any related responses by her, or any pictures sent (I can see when and to whom pictures are sent on the account). My daughter does not like to 'share' but we did attempt to address it with her and provide some guidance on handling this with him. She said she does not respond to these kinds of messages from him. However, she continues to text with him a lot.
I saw another message sent in the early morning hours today - the endearing kind of talk that boys use to get close to a girl to get her to have sex...so I blocked his number from her home. I told her that we had decided to do this at least for now. I also told her to expect him to tell her awful things about her parents for doing it. She didn't argue about it (we watch MTVs Strictest Parents with her, so maybe that's why).
Denise's thoughts: I think you did the right thing. You used open communication, let her know what is going on, what you were going to do and then you followed through with your very clear message. Kudos!
Asking our parenting community: Have you found inappropriate texts on your teen's phone? Have you talked to your teen about sexting? Please share your thoughts, advice and opinions in our comments area.
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Thursday December 17, 2009
When it comes to gift-giving and teens, I side with giving something that keeps on giving. Giving your teen something he or she will used only once or twice and then discard is not worth the money you are forking over to pay for it. Practical socks, mittens in the winter or bathing suits in the summer are gifts of this nature. But so are gift cards for activities. One of the easiest ways to think of something for your teen that is practical, but your teen will appreciate more than socks maybe, is to think about what they like to do with their friends. Movie tickets, skiing or pool passes and a gift certificate to their favorite pizza place are gifts that will help them save some money and they can enjoy the activities with their friends.
More: Use Teen Crafts for Christmas Gifts | Purchasing Birthday Gifts for Your Teen's Friends
Follow the About.com Parenting & Family's Thrifty Thursday:
Wednesday December 16, 2009
Facebook has changed the way it handles privacy, giving the users a more flexible way of sharing things. Which is okay, really. The problems is the fact that the default for all of these new privacy settings is set to 'everyone'. So, your teen's photo albums may now be able to be seen by everyone on the entire internet. That isn't good, but there is a simple fix. Follow these steps to get your teen's information private again:
- On Your Profile page, go to Settings and then Privacy Settings.
- Click on Profile Information.
- Set these settings to Only Friends or Friends of Friends.
- Edit the Photo Settings page to have each photo album set to Only Friends or Friends of Friends.
More: Study Says Teens Hanging Out Online "Is Not a Waste of Time"
Tuesday December 15, 2009
This
article on Newswise.com states:
The 2006 National Young Driver Survey (NYDS) of more than 5,500 teens across the country revealed that about six percent of students in grades 9 through 11 reported driving unsupervised without a license. However, according to the national fatality data, a full 20 percent of 14- to 18-year-old drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2006 did not have a license. This means unlicensed teens are significantly over-represented in fatal crashes.
Teens who drive without a license are usually doing so because they are unable to obtain or sustain a license, yet they continue driving. The thing is, I would think it is very hard to figure out if a teen is driving without a license - unless it is your own teen, of course. But say your teen wants to ride home from school or the movies with a friend who does not have a license? How do we know? I had stopped asking this question mainly because my daughter's friends all got to the age where they should be allowed to have friends in the car with them as they drive - our state has the rule of no friends in the car for 6-months. But after reading this I think it may be prudent to start asking again or I could add it to our parenting contract on teen driving.
What do you think? Will you be asking your teen if his/her friend has a license? What if they don't and you know the teen is driving, would you report it? Share your thoughts, opinions and family stories in our comments area.
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