Teen Lying Resources and Parenting Quiz: Is Your Teen Lying?

MY 13 YR OLD STEALS FOOD AND LIES ABOUT IT WHEN CONFRONTED

you guys are over protective parents….
u all are *****

okay umm parents are soo protective these days.
like why cant you just let your kid go out and have fun as long as there staying good kids.
its so stupid the rules that parents make for their kids cause they think there gonna go overdose on pills or some retarded stuff liek that.
holy crap just let ur kid have fun so u can have an honest open relationship wtih ur kid and be aware of what shes doing while talking about if she knows how to keep things under control.
or else your kid will hate u and you will have such a bad relationship where they keep on lying…. duh.

The thing about it is that I don’t know when he’s lying, he’s very good at it and I’m very easily manipulated. He gets it from his father who’s an excellent liar. I never know when to believe him!

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I have caught my daughter in lies 3 times, all about boys. I told her she isn’t old enough to have a boyfriend and she tells me they aren’t “going out” is the term used today for having a girfriend/boyfriend, they are just friends. I want her to be able to tell me anything, why does she keep doing it and what can i do so she doesnt feel she has to lie to me??!!

If your daughter thinks she’s ready to date then you should let her. Nobody knows her better than she knows herself. Being her parent doesn’t mean you always know what she is and isn’t ready for.

i took the test and its inaccurate in its questions. i look down because, well have you seen icey silver eyes glaring at you about to rip your head off? i don’t like contact with them because they don’t understand, and they just get mad at me whatever i say. truth or not. and its usually the truth. and im always defensive about people geting into my personel life, if i want to talk about it, i will. so this test is very inaccurate. besides, everyone needs their personnel space. mostly i agree w/ alisha.

Alisha and Kisa,

First, this site is for parents, not teenage girls who do not know how to spell or use proper english. Second, it is amazing that people who have barely lived life, mostly a sheltered one so far, feel as if they know everything and can give advice to adults. Third, respect your parents and quit thinking you know it all. One day you will find yourself in a position where you do not know anything and who do you think you will turn to, your parents. Last but not least, children need rules and discipline or they will end up as spoiled, uneducated, know it alls, who spend their time on parenting websites telling parents how to do their job.

Truth seeker: I’m a teenage girl, I love having fun and I know how to spell and use proper english. I do respect my parents, I know I know it all! I know everything about everything. I do have rules, and I am discipline. I’m spoiled, educated, and I know it all.

I’m only 14, but I’m probably more educated than you are! I’m not your “straight A” teen and I’m not your “spoiled whore” either. I had to say it, but I’m one of the most popular girls in my school. The reason I’m loved so much, is probably because I’m so mature.

I agree with a lot of people here, Ok I’m 16 but it does wind me up how people cannot spell. “liek” I think you mean “like” Jeez..

I am a 40 year old mother with 3 kids, twins boy and girl (17) and a girl (11). I feel I can trust my kids when there out because I can talk to my children and this way they feel comfortable telling me what they are really doing and who they are really with. Some parents think that theie kids should not have boy/girl friends till they are older but I think that once they are 14/15 that they are going to wander into that direction anyway. Parents get so wound up over their children having sex. Not every girl gets pregnant they have contraceptive these days and yes it is unfortunate if the girl does get pregnant at a young age but it is not the end of the world. I don’t agree with children underage drinking but it is obvious that they will want to experience it. But when it comes to smoking and drugs there should be another law for it. I have warned my twins that they can have an odd drink to be sociable but if I ever catch them with drugs or smoking I would not be happy and they are happy with the freedom they get. They are active kids. They are involved in a lot of clubs and organisations and they are very well educated so I don’t see why they should not be given their freedom wihout getting the 3rd degree!

We are setting up parenting labs around our shool and any information that you send me will be appreciated, brochures, posters,etc.
If you have any brochures that I can get for my school, please send them to the address below:

Yes Ashli you probably do know it all. And people love you because you know it all. So all of us parents should let our teens lie, smoke pot and drink. Right? And we should just let them have all of the fun they want like drive around wrecklessly and drive drunk. So Ashli since you are such a good person do you do a long list of chores everyday to help out around the house? Do you go out of your way to make sure you do a little extra to help your family each day? Do you pick up your room without asking since it is important to your parents since they did by the house you live in. Do you thank them for the nice computer and iPod you have? Or do you just think you deserve all of this because you are popular and people think you know it all?

I’m Anna. I am 14, and I am happy my parents trust me. I have a boyfriend and I have never even thought to have sex with him because I know the effects of what happens to pregnant teens. I’m not saying I don’t kiss him, because I do, but that’s about it.
I also don’t drink or do drugs. Not everykid wants to do that stuff. It just depends on how your raised i think. My best friend, Layla’s, parents are really strict on her and her boyfriend and never let them be together, so when she see’s him they do alot. Basically, all but sex. I just think parents need to watch who the kids friends are and stuff but let them have some freedom, it helps.

First of all, this was originally about Teens lying to their parents… not about kids being responsible and everything…

Tip: This isn’t always very acurate, but children/teens often have a faster heartbeat when fibbing/lying. When you ask the kid if he/she is lying to you and get a very firm (or sometimes whiny) “No!” place your hand on the child’s heart. This might confuse the kid but if his/her heart is racing, it can be a sign that the child is worried that they’ll be caught.

Dear Anonymous,(#16)
Your tip is the best advice on here!!
Thanks, I will try that next time:)

My 13 year old daughter lies constantly; hides homework, don’t turn it in. She’s a bright student, but her lies are getting too much for me. This has been going on for too long. help!

i am a 45 yr. old mom of 2 teens and an adult, all boys. they are given their freedom. but i do expect to know who what when where and why. if they cant be honest about that and i find out i have a big yard that needs landscaped.

I’m in the same boat with my 13 year old daughter! Quite frankly I’m really glad to know I’m not the only one. What I do is really limit the privileges..and remind her it’s because we have no trust built up. She may be able to go to a friends after school – because I have to let her do something to build back up some trust – but she can’t stay overnight. She even told other kids…”one thing you don’t want to loose is your mom’s trust!” Our counselor suggested some time one on one, not for lecturing but for building a relationship, because in the teen years you can’t force them to obey or respect you they have to do that based on the love and mutual respect you share.

some parent are 2 over protected …some parents act like they were never young ..and wat they fear is that there child is gonna make the same mistake they did ..i think that why they so over protected but why can they remember when they were our age and they wanted privialges

First off I’d like to say SOME parents are overprotective and like to restrict their children from doing anything. However the parents aren’t the one’s at fault here. I’ve come to find that as a teenager, I DON’T know much compared to my parents. I don’t know it all even if I like to think I do. Everyone is going to have problems with their parents. Maybe your parents had problems with their parents and that’s why they are so strict on you?
I know I am rambling a little here, but thing people (teens and parents alike) need to remember is that everyone goes threw some type of stress and some times lying seems the easiest way to get out of it. Some teen’s lie because they are so stressed out that they can’t handle their parents questioning. Some lie because they feel it gives them control over their parents. Teens have many reasons to lie, that doesn’t mean its right. I know that many of my peers fail to see the fact that lying always makes things worse. They overlook the prospect that if they tell the truth it might be easier. Why do they forget something so simple? They are afraid that if their parents know the truth their parents are going to kill them because of the mistake. Have you ever been in the family that encouraged their children to tell them the truth but when the kid admitted their mistakes the parent jumped them for it? What type of impression would that give you? It’s basically saying “Tell the truth, and get in trouble. Or Lie and no one will know.”
I know not everyone is like that but I know many are so before you start hating your parents because they jump you anytime you make a mistake. Just remember they are only trying to do what’s best for you parents make mistakes too.
And Parents, please before you gripe your kid out for lying, remember that you were a kid once too, how did it feel?

I’m sorry. This is a great blog post. I was just reading the comments and I had to laugh.
Truthseeker, you are so right about these kids and doesn’t Ashli prove it for you in her follow up post. I don’t think she meant to be funny but wow…..that was off the charts. It screams “I’m sheltered and have never dealt with a real problem” i know she wants to get under everyone’s skin and sound cool independent which is what makes it so funny. I apologize for laughing Ashli. You’ll see one day when your an adult. This is very funny.
Thanks again for a great post!

Hey mah name is luchia i am 13 years old.I have a boyfriend and whee talk everynight about sex.And i think whe are starting to get to the point were we are ready to have sex.I am 13 he is 14 and i truely love him.On january 18th it will be our anneversery

Pfft!

I couldn’t help but laugh at Luchia Nava’s stupidity.

Stay in school, honey. Anyone on the face of the planet that spells “we” as “whee” should be sterilized.

Congradulations on your “anNEVERsery”. My eleven year old spells it correctly, for your information.

My comment is for Luchia. Your body is not even fully developed at 13 and unless you are capable in every way to have and raise a child, you have no business taking risks. No birth control is 100% foolproof. I don’t doubt that you love your boyfriend,but you should also love yourself enough to not take such huge chances with your life. Think about what you really want to achieve with the ONE life you have.

I think the young children that think they know it all and cant spell is such a shame.

Us adults put up with more then your little developing minds can handle.

The reason why parents can be so protective
is that they have lived.
they have seen the dark side of the world
and all they try to do is to protect you from it.

There are many paths you can take in life,
your parents try to keep you on the right path in life so you can have a good life.

Growing up for some can be hard, but thats not your parent’s fault.

Best advice I can give to all the teenagers
Listen and learn from your parent while they are still around. and if you dont respect your parents and continue to lie to them and worry them, you may as well dig there grave.
Then who’s going to be there for you?, your friends? goodluck.

Cant believe the nitpickers who are using a blog about something this important to berate those who cant spell properly!!!! Can you imagine being the teenage child of one of these people????? Get a grip. I am interested to know how I set and maintain boundaries with my teenage children without them thinking I am an old fossil who knows nothing. And I want to know how to stop my house being a battlefield of endless arguments. Oops, I used ‘and’ at the beginning of a sentence – I am off to get myself sterilised!!

Selina Poff:
Um, obviously she’ll keep doing what she’s doing. Rules don’t change behaviour after the fact. I agree with you that she’s probably over her head, but you should have established what is allowed while the was still young.

truth seeker:
It’s the Internet. Suck it up.

Luchia Nava:
Secret Life of the American Teenager is not real life, honey. Sex when you are 13 is nothing but idiocy. Pregnancy is not glamourous. And don’t be surprised when you start being known as the ‘whore’ around school.

I’ve caught me oldest daughter lying to me twice. On both occaisions her consequence was the same. As most teenagers are “picky” eaters I prepared a meal of scrambled eggs with onions and green peppers. I made a plate for her and a plate for myself. We both sat down to eat. I ate mine with great enthusiasm as I am not a picky eater. She sat for 3 hours not able to watch TV or use her cell or even get up. She used the bathroom frequently. At her third request I advised her that she would not use the bathroom again until it was eaten. She has either gotten better at lying or she has learned that lying has consequences.

I have an step son that has had in the past anger management issues. He has been verbally & physically abusive to me in the past…….no more. I do not encorporate corporal punishment and I do not yell. What I do is find a suitable consequence for the behavior. He likes to play video games and watch TV, what kid doesn’t. After his last episode towards me I took away his ability to play ANY video games or watch TV until he read “Danny, Champion of the world” by Roald Dahl. Once read he had to answer 10 questions about the book. This was one of my favorite books as child. He went two months going without before picking the book up and reading it. He answered the questions with a 70% accuracy. the remaining 3 questions he looked up in the book and answered before he could play video games and watch TV. He may not be the perfect angel we would like him to be but he hasn’t been verbally or physically abusive to me or his mother since.

My 17 year old lied about my husband wanting to have sex with her. i know from the information she gave me that she had been lying. it really broke my heart, but she just kept insisting it was true. Now she lives with her grandma and is very happy there, beccause she thinks she will have all the freedom we dont give her.

my Name Is Mary And Im 29 years Old With Two Kids.
I Have To Laugh At The Fact That These Kids Think They Know Everything About Life When Half Of Them Can’t Even Spell Correctly!
Luchia Nava You Think Your Ready For Sex?
I First Had Sex When I Was 16 And I Got Pregnant And My Child Has Downs Syndrome. So The Next Time You Think your Ready For Sex Think Of The Risks!
It Is So Very Hard Looking After A Baby When Your Still A Child Yourself And It Is Even Harder When Your Child Has Special Needs!

Dear Parents and Teens—
I hope that you will look at the evidence that speaks for itself regarding teens and sexual involvement. Just be open to reading what kids themselves say as they enter their 20s and 30s. One survey reports that 60% of sexually active teens regret their choice. Several others are honest enough to say that it was the “emotional fallout” of their sexual activity that hurt, not a fear of pregnancy or STDs. “No one told me about that,” they often say. You’re talking a short-term gain of satisfying your desires for what is too often a very long-term loss. Only you can be their parent.

Trust in any relationship takes time to establish.Once that trust is broken it takes time to build it up again.Lying is a very destructive habit/coping mechanism in any relationship.My 14 year old daughter takes/steals things from her father and me,and lies with no remorse or conscience .she seems completely disinterested that it hurts our relationship,makes us feel we can’t trust her,and has changed our relationship to a strained,uptight one ,where both my husband and I sleep with our wallets under our pillows.She is in counseling ,but so far we have not seen much of a change.I’m worried for her future.If she steals so easily from us and lies about it even when presented with the evidence-I wonder when and where she will see something she desires and will help herself-the mall,the drugstore,a friends home,at school??

Ashli: please donate some of your time to your community you live in. They will benefit from your wealth of knowledge, charismatic personality, and maturity.

I’m a 38 yr old male who recently moved in with his girlfriend and her 14 yr old daughter, who, as it turns out, is just beginning the lying stage of early teenhood. We’ve tried grounding – both worldly and electronically (no facebook, MSN Chat, etc…) and we’ve tried talking. We even recently drew up a contract that outlines chores and responsibilities around the house. We’ve also pointed out the woes of lying – someone mentioned an emergency for example. The problem we find is that at 14, she has no clue about finances or suing, only that everything’s done for her, including cooking, cleaning bus fare etc… So the comparisson really doesn’t matter, like trying to teach a dog that wings are for flying. We’ve also (big fan of this one) tried calmly (this is the way of this household) presenting the evidence so that she knows we know she’s lying. Doesn’t matter. Oh it matters for a moment but 10 mins later everything’s all back to normal – even if we are somewhat distant due to anger. It’s kinda funny, the most recent lie we caught her in… she had taken a piece of cake & left a huge mess in the kitchen (I’m not even sure how much cake was actually left for her to consume after seeing the mess), she stated quite firmly a number of times that she did not consume any cake. We showed her the dirty knife, we showed her the icing that was smeared all over the counter top, we even showed her the stain on her shirt (due to the smearing) and that’s when she finally came clean. I’ve got NO experience raising a 14 yr old girl but I DO remember my teenage years quite clearly and this is how I’m able to determine the lies so readily. What I can’t fathom is why? It would seem illogical to lie. I mean let’s face it. The worst thing that can happen to a child by Ontario law at the least is that they are grounded and I’m sure that is questionable as well. So if the child knows this, then why not just say “I ate the cake, what are you going to do about it? Ground me?”. I agree with the chosen solution from the liar himself. Violence (yelling is a violent act) is NOT the answer. Violence is about 1 of 2 things. 1. Control or 2. Self preservation. I think that affording the child the opportunity to make their own mistake(s) can present a valuable lesson. Having said that, at 14 yrs of age, the consequences to the lie are nominal. I mean honestly, if you catch your teen in a lie you’ve got grounding (whether from electronics, certain web sites, music, etc…) and that’s it. They know that they will have to play it cool for a time then the freedom will come back. They may not really value their freedom to begin with so that in itself makes it a moot point. You can only take away so much until your teen is left with nothing but a sleeping mat & blanket. So what then?

I agree it doesn’t seem helpful to verbally crush a teen’s posted opinion, or pick at things like they’re spelling.

As to my situation, I am running out of ideas for a 15y/o daughter that lies repeatedly, despite the consequences. She lost use of cell phone progressively until now she has lost texting for good after texting during class and lying about it. She has been grounded progressively. She has had home phone and computer time progressively taken away, and has had early bed times. I always make a punishment much lighter if she does something wrong but fesses up, honoring her willingness to ‘face the music’. Two of my sister’s 3 children have spent teen years in Boystown, and one of the things they wish they had not done with their kids was be so harsh with punishments. The teens got to the point where they had nothing, so had nothing to lose in bad behavior. Is that faulty logic or not? Because I seem to be close to that with my daughter. I could use lots of examples of tried and true successful responses to lying, and any books aimed at teens, written by teens, that help teens get a postive outlook on the truth and demonstrate the negative life consequences of lying.