Teen Lying Resources and Parenting Quiz: Is Your Teen Lying?
More: How To Tell If Your Teen Is Lying to You | Help Your Teen Regain Trust
What do you recommend a parent do when a teen is continually lying? Should parents discipline their teens for every lie?
As I recommended on this blog post about teen lying: 'Sometimes you just need to stand your ground and continue to give the same consequences for each lie until it sinks in that you are not going to waver ‘the next time’ either.
I would also look for the cycle of lying that she is in. Where does the lie begin? Talk with her about how to break that cycle, what does she think she can do to keep from having to feel like she needs to lie and how does she feel you can help her. Sometimes our children have great insights to these matters and we just don’t realize that we just need to ask. '
Have you caught your teen lying to you? What did you do? Tell us and/or give your advice in our comments area.
This blog post is part of the Mommy Monthly Carnival.
• Stumble It!
• Digg This!
• Save this to Del.icio.us
• 
Furl it
• Reddit
Comments
MY 13 YR OLD STEALS FOOD AND LIES ABOUT IT WHEN CONFRONTED
you guys are over protective parents….
u all are *****
okay umm parents are soo protective these days.
like why cant you just let your kid go out and have fun as long as there staying good kids.
its so stupid the rules that parents make for their kids cause they think there gonna go overdose on pills or some retarded stuff liek that.
holy crap just let ur kid have fun so u can have an honest open relationship wtih ur kid and be aware of what shes doing while talking about if she knows how to keep things under control.
or else your kid will hate u and you will have such a bad relationship where they keep on lying…. duh.
The thing about it is that I don’t know when he’s lying, he’s very good at it and I’m very easily manipulated. He gets it from his father who’s an excellent liar. I never know when to believe him!
Thank you for submitting your post to the Mommy Monthly carnival at Pajama Mommy. We’ve included your post into the next edition. It will be posted on the 30th of this month so please stop on by and check out the other participants.
I have caught my daughter in lies 3 times, all about boys. I told her she isn’t old enough to have a boyfriend and she tells me they aren’t “going out” is the term used today for having a girfriend/boyfriend, they are just friends. I want her to be able to tell me anything, why does she keep doing it and what can i do so she doesnt feel she has to lie to me??!!
If your daughter thinks she’s ready to date then you should let her. Nobody knows her better than she knows herself. Being her parent doesn’t mean you always know what she is and isn’t ready for.
i took the test and its inaccurate in its questions. i look down because, well have you seen icey silver eyes glaring at you about to rip your head off? i don’t like contact with them because they don’t understand, and they just get mad at me whatever i say. truth or not. and its usually the truth. and im always defensive about people geting into my personel life, if i want to talk about it, i will. so this test is very inaccurate. besides, everyone needs their personnel space. mostly i agree w/ alisha.
Alisha and Kisa,
First, this site is for parents, not teenage girls who do not know how to spell or use proper english. Second, it is amazing that people who have barely lived life, mostly a sheltered one so far, feel as if they know everything and can give advice to adults. Third, respect your parents and quit thinking you know it all. One day you will find yourself in a position where you do not know anything and who do you think you will turn to, your parents. Last but not least, children need rules and discipline or they will end up as spoiled, uneducated, know it alls, who spend their time on parenting websites telling parents how to do their job.
Truth seeker: I’m a teenage girl, I love having fun and I know how to spell and use proper english. I do respect my parents, I know I know it all! I know everything about everything. I do have rules, and I am discipline. I’m spoiled, educated, and I know it all.
I’m only 14, but I’m probably more educated than you are! I’m not your “straight A” teen and I’m not your “spoiled whore” either. I had to say it, but I’m one of the most popular girls in my school. The reason I’m loved so much, is probably because I’m so mature.
I agree with a lot of people here, Ok I’m 16 but it does wind me up how people cannot spell. “liek” I think you mean “like” Jeez..
I am a 40 year old mother with 3 kids, twins boy and girl (17) and a girl (11). I feel I can trust my kids when there out because I can talk to my children and this way they feel comfortable telling me what they are really doing and who they are really with. Some parents think that theie kids should not have boy/girl friends till they are older but I think that once they are 14/15 that they are going to wander into that direction anyway. Parents get so wound up over their children having sex. Not every girl gets pregnant they have contraceptive these days and yes it is unfortunate if the girl does get pregnant at a young age but it is not the end of the world. I don’t agree with children underage drinking but it is obvious that they will want to experience it. But when it comes to smoking and drugs there should be another law for it. I have warned my twins that they can have an odd drink to be sociable but if I ever catch them with drugs or smoking I would not be happy and they are happy with the freedom they get. They are active kids. They are involved in a lot of clubs and organisations and they are very well educated so I don’t see why they should not be given their freedom wihout getting the 3rd degree!
We are setting up parenting labs around our shool and any information that you send me will be appreciated, brochures, posters,etc.
If you have any brochures that I can get for my school, please send them to the address below:
Yes Ashli you probably do know it all. And people love you because you know it all. So all of us parents should let our teens lie, smoke pot and drink. Right? And we should just let them have all of the fun they want like drive around wrecklessly and drive drunk. So Ashli since you are such a good person do you do a long list of chores everyday to help out around the house? Do you go out of your way to make sure you do a little extra to help your family each day? Do you pick up your room without asking since it is important to your parents since they did by the house you live in. Do you thank them for the nice computer and iPod you have? Or do you just think you deserve all of this because you are popular and people think you know it all?
I’m Anna. I am 14, and I am happy my parents trust me. I have a boyfriend and I have never even thought to have sex with him because I know the effects of what happens to pregnant teens. I’m not saying I don’t kiss him, because I do, but that’s about it.
I also don’t drink or do drugs. Not everykid wants to do that stuff. It just depends on how your raised i think. My best friend, Layla’s, parents are really strict on her and her boyfriend and never let them be together, so when she see’s him they do alot. Basically, all but sex. I just think parents need to watch who the kids friends are and stuff but let them have some freedom, it helps.
First of all, this was originally about Teens lying to their parents… not about kids being responsible and everything…
Tip: This isn’t always very acurate, but children/teens often have a faster heartbeat when fibbing/lying. When you ask the kid if he/she is lying to you and get a very firm (or sometimes whiny) “No!” place your hand on the child’s heart. This might confuse the kid but if his/her heart is racing, it can be a sign that the child is worried that they’ll be caught.
Dear Anonymous,(#16)
Your tip is the best advice on here!!
Thanks, I will try that next time:)
My 13 year old daughter lies constantly; hides homework, don’t turn it in. She’s a bright student, but her lies are getting too much for me. This has been going on for too long. help!
i am a 45 yr. old mom of 2 teens and an adult, all boys. they are given their freedom. but i do expect to know who what when where and why. if they cant be honest about that and i find out i have a big yard that needs landscaped.
I’m in the same boat with my 13 year old daughter! Quite frankly I’m really glad to know I’m not the only one. What I do is really limit the privileges..and remind her it’s because we have no trust built up. She may be able to go to a friends after school – because I have to let her do something to build back up some trust – but she can’t stay overnight. She even told other kids…”one thing you don’t want to loose is your mom’s trust!” Our counselor suggested some time one on one, not for lecturing but for building a relationship, because in the teen years you can’t force them to obey or respect you they have to do that based on the love and mutual respect you share.
some parent are 2 over protected …some parents act like they were never young ..and wat they fear is that there child is gonna make the same mistake they did ..i think that why they so over protected but why can they remember when they were our age and they wanted privialges
First off I’d like to say SOME parents are overprotective and like to restrict their children from doing anything. However the parents aren’t the one’s at fault here. I’ve come to find that as a teenager, I DON’T know much compared to my parents. I don’t know it all even if I like to think I do. Everyone is going to have problems with their parents. Maybe your parents had problems with their parents and that’s why they are so strict on you?
I know I am rambling a little here, but thing people (teens and parents alike) need to remember is that everyone goes threw some type of stress and some times lying seems the easiest way to get out of it. Some teen’s lie because they are so stressed out that they can’t handle their parents questioning. Some lie because they feel it gives them control over their parents. Teens have many reasons to lie, that doesn’t mean its right. I know that many of my peers fail to see the fact that lying always makes things worse. They overlook the prospect that if they tell the truth it might be easier. Why do they forget something so simple? They are afraid that if their parents know the truth their parents are going to kill them because of the mistake. Have you ever been in the family that encouraged their children to tell them the truth but when the kid admitted their mistakes the parent jumped them for it? What type of impression would that give you? It’s basically saying “Tell the truth, and get in trouble. Or Lie and no one will know.”
I know not everyone is like that but I know many are so before you start hating your parents because they jump you anytime you make a mistake. Just remember they are only trying to do what’s best for you parents make mistakes too.
And Parents, please before you gripe your kid out for lying, remember that you were a kid once too, how did it feel?
I’m sorry. This is a great blog post. I was just reading the comments and I had to laugh.
Truthseeker, you are so right about these kids and doesn’t Ashli prove it for you in her follow up post. I don’t think she meant to be funny but wow…..that was off the charts. It screams “I’m sheltered and have never dealt with a real problem” i know she wants to get under everyone’s skin and sound cool independent which is what makes it so funny. I apologize for laughing Ashli. You’ll see one day when your an adult. This is very funny.
Thanks again for a great post!
Hey mah name is luchia i am 13 years old.I have a boyfriend and whee talk everynight about sex.And i think whe are starting to get to the point were we are ready to have sex.I am 13 he is 14 and i truely love him.On january 18th it will be our anneversery
Pfft!
I couldn’t help but laugh at Luchia Nava’s stupidity.
Stay in school, honey. Anyone on the face of the planet that spells “we” as “whee” should be sterilized.
Congradulations on your “anNEVERsery”. My eleven year old spells it correctly, for your information.
My comment is for Luchia. Your body is not even fully developed at 13 and unless you are capable in every way to have and raise a child, you have no business taking risks. No birth control is 100% foolproof. I don’t doubt that you love your boyfriend,but you should also love yourself enough to not take such huge chances with your life. Think about what you really want to achieve with the ONE life you have.
I think the young children that think they know it all and cant spell is such a shame.
Us adults put up with more then your little developing minds can handle.
The reason why parents can be so protective
is that they have lived.
they have seen the dark side of the world
and all they try to do is to protect you from it.
There are many paths you can take in life,
your parents try to keep you on the right path in life so you can have a good life.
Growing up for some can be hard, but thats not your parent’s fault.
Best advice I can give to all the teenagers
Listen and learn from your parent while they are still around. and if you dont respect your parents and continue to lie to them and worry them, you may as well dig there grave.
Then who’s going to be there for you?, your friends? goodluck.
Cant believe the nitpickers who are using a blog about something this important to berate those who cant spell properly!!!! Can you imagine being the teenage child of one of these people????? Get a grip. I am interested to know how I set and maintain boundaries with my teenage children without them thinking I am an old fossil who knows nothing. And I want to know how to stop my house being a battlefield of endless arguments. Oops, I used ‘and’ at the beginning of a sentence – I am off to get myself sterilised!!
Selina Poff:
Um, obviously she’ll keep doing what she’s doing. Rules don’t change behaviour after the fact. I agree with you that she’s probably over her head, but you should have established what is allowed while the was still young.
truth seeker:
It’s the Internet. Suck it up.
Luchia Nava:
Secret Life of the American Teenager is not real life, honey. Sex when you are 13 is nothing but idiocy. Pregnancy is not glamourous. And don’t be surprised when you start being known as the ‘whore’ around school.
I’ve caught me oldest daughter lying to me twice. On both occaisions her consequence was the same. As most teenagers are “picky” eaters I prepared a meal of scrambled eggs with onions and green peppers. I made a plate for her and a plate for myself. We both sat down to eat. I ate mine with great enthusiasm as I am not a picky eater. She sat for 3 hours not able to watch TV or use her cell or even get up. She used the bathroom frequently. At her third request I advised her that she would not use the bathroom again until it was eaten. She has either gotten better at lying or she has learned that lying has consequences.
I have an step son that has had in the past anger management issues. He has been verbally & physically abusive to me in the past…….no more. I do not encorporate corporal punishment and I do not yell. What I do is find a suitable consequence for the behavior. He likes to play video games and watch TV, what kid doesn’t. After his last episode towards me I took away his ability to play ANY video games or watch TV until he read “Danny, Champion of the world” by Roald Dahl. Once read he had to answer 10 questions about the book. This was one of my favorite books as child. He went two months going without before picking the book up and reading it. He answered the questions with a 70% accuracy. the remaining 3 questions he looked up in the book and answered before he could play video games and watch TV. He may not be the perfect angel we would like him to be but he hasn’t been verbally or physically abusive to me or his mother since.