Parenting in the Digital Age
Monday May 12, 2008
An article I read this morning likened today’s' parental worry about the Net, texting, Myspace, etc. to our parents worry ‘that the Rolling Stones might corrupt’ us. Am I the only one that sees a huge difference in what we have to do and learn to keep up with our teens in order to take our responsibility seriously to what my parents had to do – close my door – to keep from listening to my music?
Anyone out there see what I mean? Am I totally off with this or just reading it wrong? Let me know in the comments area.
Comments
Our parents had to deal with all kinds of unknowns in the 60s and 70s — drugs, sex, and rock and roll were just as unknown and uncontrollable to parents then as the Internet is to parents now.
I know exactly what you mean! I’ve looked at my son’s myspace and if parents knew what their children were posting they would be mortified. Also, this whole new age of technology is causing a breakdown in communication between us and our kids and our kids and their friends. Children are much more likely to say things on the internet that they would never say to someone’s face.
My concern is the amount of time they spend in front of the computer and the lack of exercise? My Son can literally spend an entire day on the computer with only breaks for lunch. We need to find a better balance in our household, for sure!
I had to get the attitude “if you can’t beat them, join them”. After not allowing my daughter to have a page on MySpace, we eventually gave in and I have one too! Now, it’s not such a big deal to her….not like she thought it would be. But the good thing is, I can send her funnies and love from work for her to have when she gets home. Oh, I also had to learn to text message from my cell phone too….it’s fun.
We have set limits on several things (no cell phones at dinner) and positive rewards for good grades (more vidio game time). Both of our kids love to read but the eletronic toys have a bigger pull. We have joined our daughter on Myspace and Facebook so we can see what is going on. We also take the time to play wii with our son and text meassage them both daily. I think it is important for them to see we can enjoy these things with them. They also have friends every weekend and we get the opportunity to know who they spend time with. Communication and a strong relationship at this stage is worth it!
I agree with you, Denise, there IS a difference between the impact of so much electronics in our kids’ lives and the music of an earlier generation. Youth today are drowning in NOISE–every waking moment filled with TV, music, texting, cell phone, Internet, and often many at once. The problem with so much noise? We need quiet time to listen to our thoughts, to plan and reflect and organize and reconsider and figure things out. And we need quiet time to listen to our hearts, all the feelings that live within but remain unclear until they bubble to the surface during quiet and still moments. Out of touch with feelings might be why young people are struggling more and more with anxiety (and depression).
But will parents insist on creating quiet time? Not if they want more than anything to keep their kids happy–because the kids will resist, won’t want to unplug themselves. (Check out mykidshappiness.com)
I really agree with Aaron Cooper’s comment. I am a therapist and have worked with children of all ages. I feel that the underlying source of most of today’s problems are the disconnect between kids and parents. There are few sit-down dinners, everyone is plugged in or logged on to something and no one pays attention to anyone anymore. My oldest is 23 and was a teen at early end of the current electronics phase. Our computer has always been, and will always be, in the family room where all can see it. We set time limits for TV, computer, and video games with our two younger children. Fortunately for our two children, my husband and I are more concerned with parenting than keeping them happy.
I lost my daughter to World of Warcraft online. Her father and I a seperated and he got her hooked. When she got a D in math her freshman year I gorunded her from the game for 1 month. He still let her play on his weekends with her, so when I decided to move us closer to my family, because I had NO family near me, she didn’t want to move with me and her younger brother and sister. I kept expressing she was spending too much time on the computer. He got a court order keeping me from moving her, unfortunately I got served AFTER the van was loaded and had to leave her behind. A year later I am still fighting to get her back and she has failed 2 classes with him and he allows her to date online, and I recently found some photos that should Not have been sent by her. There are real dangers out there and I fear for her safety constantly. Yes, it is easier for thenm to talk to others on the computer… especially shy people like my daughter, because she doesn’t have to face them.. None of this is good development. Her father, well, he isn’t parenting. I was, but got cut out of her life for it.
I agree that there are dangers in the cyber world. My Step daughters mother did not agree. She at age 12 posted her age at 15 met a boy. They dated at her moms not our house. The boy was 17 and not stable. Most of this sites have an age requirement for a reason. Those who choose to ignore this requirement are afraid to discipline and parent there children. I see nothing good out of cyber space friend ships. cell phones are a conveince. I am able to stay in touch with my children at all times. But even the text messages leave a lot to be desired. Some of the kids are getting the bad ones from their parents. As in the case of my step daughter. Her mother sent a text of a cartoon beating off. I would sooner be cut out for a short time and stand my ground and protect my kids then to be afraid to parent the right way.
It’ critically important to keep up with both the technology that our children have exposure to as well as keeping the line of communication open
(and their door). Short of that, you’re just burying your head in the sand!
I totaly get it. I have a 22, 20, 16,& 14yr old. For years now I have been trying to keep up with internet, texting, IM, and now I have a Myspace just to keep up. Get involed and get online and learn to text…..