Girls & Bras
'My 12 year old daughter feels a little bit underdeveloped lately. All of her friends have started wearing bras, and she says that she "needs" to wear one too, as she will be starting gym class with communal changing rooms soon. My daughter does not really have a chest that needs a bra yet, nor is she totally "flat". I have taken her shopping for a bra, but I cannot seem to find one that doesn't engulf her chest. She is my first child, and I was wondering if anyone can tell me any indicators that a bra is necessary, or maybe a brand of bra that you don't need much of a chest for! Also, I would appreciate advice on how to deal with this situation if it turns out that she doesn't need to wear a bra at all.Thanks so much.' - JULSIE15
Tips From Our Community:
'She's just growing up and if everyone else has a bra she wants one too. I bet at least someone she knows that has one doesn't really need one. I am sure there are some that you don't need much chest for. In the shops here I have seen bra like tops for younger girls than 12. Another thing, if she is starting to notice that she is developing she might feel self conscious about people seeing through her tops. Good Luck.' - Jennifer (JENN018)'Try a sports bra! They are stretchy and don't have defined cups. Then she will not feel different.' - DKeais
'Do you have any K-marts nearby? They have a pretty good selection for girls, teens and women of all sizes. I think one of the brands they carry for teens is Best Form. I feel there is no harm in letting her wear a bra because her friends do, even if she doesn't need one...there are worse things than this that she could want to do because her friends do! For my own daughter, I ask her to consider what is really "you" and all of the pros and cons of a particular desire before she makes the decision to do something or not, especially when it appears to me that she is simply trying to be "in" with the crowd. Of course, the "something" has to meet Mom and Dad's general approval in the first place. Then the decision can be hers.' - MOTHERMAYI
'It's my feeling that,your daughters physical stage of development is irrelevant here. What counts is that she feels that she NEEDS to wear a bra. Her motivation may be more relevant than just wishfully thinking. I remember that phase of development where only little rosebuds were present ... I wanted a bra ... I needed a bra... I had to have a bra, to cover them up ! I would have an in your face chat with her , try to get her to confide her movtives to you , maybe it's something you could help her to feel better about. Find out what style of bra she has in mind .If you have no luck with the chat ... I would try to fulfill her NEED , your best style bet would be a sports type , my 17 year old wears it as a tank top , very comfy !' - Pathfinder (PATHFINDER6)
at the Parenting of Adolescents Site |
