Getting Your Teen Into College Series
While the ultimate decision of which college your teen will attend is up to him/her, getting to that point is where he/she will need your help. Traversing all of the ins and outs of the college choosing process is a daunting task. Here are four key tips you can use:
Be actively involved in the search with your teen. As teens are not experienced in making huge life altering decisions for themselves, parents need to guide their teen through the process and help him/her gain the perspective he/she needs to make the right choice. You have seen parenting articles and heard from well-meaning friends and relatives that it’s your teen’s choice and he/she alone should make it – that is true. But it is up to the parents to help their teen lay out all of the college options available to him/her and to make your standards clear.
Begin at the beginning. You can start by asking easily digestible questions: What are your teen’s interests? How do these interests play out as careers? What major would that lead your teen into choosing? What colleges offer that major? What are the pro and cons to each of those colleges? When you and your teen take the time to go through these questions, and answer them thoroughly, you’ll both be confident in the college that is chosen.
Talk about it regularly. Set a scheduled time to talk and before that talk is over, schedule the next one. Set up mini-schedules for tasks that need to be done before the next talk. The process of picking a college can be a rewarding bonding experience for you and your teen as long as you both are invested in the decision. Your teen will build more and more confidence in him/her self and more trust in you as this process develops as long as you give him/her the reins as often as possible and be his/her support person. On a side note, these talks need not be formal. Grab your notes and hit the nearest pizza parlor. This is a great way to get some one-on-one time.
Follow the rules. Don’t become so overly involved with your teen’s college application process that you are doing his/her applications or essays. The rules are that your teen needs to do the work, you are the support person. You can help by being sure he has everything he/she needs – time, research material, paper, etc – but it’s your teen who needs to handle the essay or fill out the application.
