Quick Links: Troubled Teens
If you've ever asked yourself whether you're at fault for your teens' problems then it's time to address this question and get some real answers. Parents often fear they are at fault for teen problems but when you feel this way it greatly decreases your ability to effectively help your teen.
The good news is your faultfinding fears can be turned around.
The Issue of Fault
Your teen is experiencing problems due to going through adolescence and being a highly complex human being. No one thing has caused the difficulties they are currently struggling with. A complex interaction of factors has to come together for a teen to get so stuck emotionally that they resort to acting out their problems.
It's no one's fault when this happens. Let go of finding fault because doing so doesn't help at all in the important process of helping your teen grow into a healthy adult.
Being at Fault
Fault is defined as making mistakes or having personal shortcomings.
Perhaps you have made some mistakes in raising your teen that have contributed to the problems they now struggle with. Perhaps in getting more experience as a parent you see things you would now handle differently. It's really impossible to know if this is the case or not.
Think about the fact that many parents raise several children in the same manner but only one develops serious problems as a teenager. Think about a teen who does well for many years and then suddenly develops problems. Teens can get off track for so many different reasons.
The Positive Side of Faultfinding
Since you can't go back in time and change anything you've done or said to your teen, it's time to deal with your troubled teen in the present.
If you know you have unresolved issues that currently impact your ability to care for or communicate effectively with your teen you owe it to yourself and your teen to deal with these issues in the present.
If you currently abuse drugs or alcohol then set a positive example for your teen by getting help for the reasons you are doing so. If you suffer from depression or other mood disorder, acknowledge the misery this creates for you and be a role model in taking care of yourself and making needed changes. If you struggle with issues from your past that keep you stuck, resolve to face them by learning the lessons they have to teach.
Parents who use their own personal challenges as a way to help their teen turn feelings of being at fault into a positive and productive journey to help their teen. Instead of looking back, look forward to help empower your teen to heal from their problems.
Quick Links: Troubled Teens